Gift Guide

Looking for a little something for that kinky or sexy someone in your life? Whether it’s for a holiday, birthday, anniversary, collaring ceremony, tribute, ‘Sorry, I’m a big doofus, but I have great taste’ or just because, here is a list of high-quality, hand-picked items for a variety of budgets.

I’ve read the books and they are the best-of-the-best. I’ve seen the films, but you should read the reviews to gauge if they’d be right to rent for a special night in (actually, do that for the books, as well).

The toys are from suppliers who are ethical and are something I personally like (or recommended by someone I trust).

Other bits and bobs are just fun things I come across in my ramblings around the internet.

None of these are sponsors or have asked me to flog their gear. I receive nothing in exchange for recommending any item on this list—I’m telling you about them because I like them and think you might, too. This page will be updated as I find new, fantastic things during my wanderings in the lands of kinkiness.

Click on a section heading to reveal the list of useful resources hidden within:
 

Apparel

  • Sex Geek shirt: Reid Mihalko (Reid About Sex) has Sex Geek shirts that are fairly simple, but I want one in black like whoa. They come in black or cranberry and are $20USD + shipping.

Badges/Buttons, Stickers, Etc

  • Autostraddle has many pins that are convert-worthy, including Read a Fucking Book and Hard Femme (both $10).
  • I’ll go with you buttons and stickers: For trans and gender non-conforming allies to let people know you’ll accompany them to the restroom. You can also pay to donate buttons to organizations. I have one of these on my bag.
  • Weird Empire: Introverted and Perverted button ($10) & Live Freak or Die button ($9). I don’t have either of these, but love them. They’re metal and look cool so I’m going out on a limb and guessing they’re neato. If shipping wasn’t so expensive to the UK I’d get them in a second. They also have stationery, apparel and other swell, well-made things.

Bathing, Soaps And Lotions

  • Villainess! I love Villainess Smack and Smooch scrubs and their lotions, which are called Whipped. The lotions are a bit too oily for my face, but they’re perfect for my body. Much of what they make smells like it’s edible. I’ve used their products for years and love them. The Smack and Smooch scrubs are excellent before shaving and leave your skin feeling pampered and smooth. Everything is handmade in small batches.

Books

  • A detailed list of book recommendations are on this page.

Donations In Their Name

Education

Who doesn’t want more kink education in their lives?

  • Become a Patreon supporter to their favourite podcasts, writers or other creatives in their name—so they can get the perks. Some podcasts I support (also some I will do when I can):
  • A Kink Academy subscription or kink packs about something they’d like to learn about. If the person is your sub and it’s something they’ve been interested in it’s a gift for the both of you! (Various subscription prices from a year–$149–down to a month–$20. Kink packs can be as low as $5.)

Ethical Porn

  • A Crash Pad subscription: Based on the Award-Winning feminist queer porn The Crash Pad, Queer Filmaker Shine Louise Houston brings to the web authentic female and queer sexuality. Here you’ll find real dyke porn, lesbians, femme on femme, boi, stud, genderqueer and trans-masculine performers, transwomen, transmen, queer men and women engaging in authentic queer sexuality, whether it is with safer sex, strap-on sex, cocksucking, kink and bdsm,, gender play and fluidity, and always authentic orgasms. [Memberships can be one month, three months or one year; with better deals when choosing longer memberships.]
  • Girlfriend films: Ethically made films by lesbians, for lesbians. Hot, hot stuff. I talk about them in this episode.
  • A Pink and White Productions: Create an e-wallet and put some money in it for your sweetie to spend on movies. Recommended by Dr David Ley as purveyors of ethical porn. Who doesn’t like ethical porn?
  • Alice in Bondage Land: FemDom extraordinaire, Alice in Bondageland has videos, clips and images of all sorts of femdom kinkyness. ($24.95 first month) She joined me on the show and was an absolute delight. Listen here.
  • Kink.com subscription: All sorts of high-quality kink made ethically and sent right to your computer. Subscriptions for various prices.
  • Many other ethical porn sites are listed on this page–check them out and see what would work for whomever you’re shopping for.

Films With Kinky Themes

  • The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant: review
  • Blue Velvet: review
  • Breaking the Waves: review
  • The Chambermaid: review
  • Dogtooth: review
  • The Duke of Burgundy: review I have waxed poetical about this film many times. I even own the poster.
  • Gosford Park: Review. If you’d like to get cosy and see how servants do their thing in a massive English country house, perhaps give this a try.
  • Moonlight Whispers: review
  • New Tokyo Decadence–The Slave: review
  • Nymphomaniac: review
  • Of Freaks and Men: review
  • The Piano Teacher: review
  • Preaching to the Perverted: review
  • Secretary: Review

Games

  • You can make your own Blank White Cards, which I detailed in this post. The best part about this game is each version is entirely unique–you can have a vanilla deck and a NSFW deck like the one I made or anything else you’d like. It can be as elaborate or as simple as you want to make it. You can build a deck for free with paper in your house or buy fancy blank cards and nice pens–so the price is highly variable.
  • Bring Your Own Book. I want to give Lee Harrington a shout out for showing me this one. Someone reads the prompt on a card and everyone else has one or two minutes to find the best line or dialogue in the book they have to finish the prompt. Cards Against Humanity for book nerds, basically. I swoon. The limited edition version is $20USD and the regular version is $13USD. There’s an app coming out that shall be miiiine.

Gifts For Geeks

  • The Noble Collection: If you know someone who is into Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Game of Thrones, etc, this is the place to get high quality gifts. The print catalogue alone is drool-worthy. There are options for a range of budgets and they regularly add new items. (I’ve had my eye on the Professor Slughorn hourglass for over a year now.)
  • Sciplus: Science and fun stuff surplus shop. I haven’t done any shopping here because if I started I would spend all of my money. It’s a great place to get gifts for geeky kids, techy adults or your own nerdy self. From the very useful to utterly pointless but fun (do you have a Little to shop for?) this is a place. They have brick-and-mortar stores, too, in case you’d like to go into massive debt.
  • Shapeways: Everything on this site is 3D printed, which is cool as hell. It was much cooler when I first discovered it a few years ago, but I think most techy people would still be pretty pleased with a gift of some sort that was printed in three dimensions. There’s a range of items that can be made, as well as a variety of materials that your selection can be printed in. You can even upload your own design to be printed.

Gifts For Littles

  • Dragonflies, Butterflies and Toadstools: I own this book and it’s super high quality–the pages are large and heavy-weight. There’s a lot on the page to colour so it takes a long time to finish even one design. ($20)
  • Squishables: I don’t own any of these, but they look so soft and lovable and the reviews on the site are overwhelmingly positive. (prices vary)

Housewares

  • Boob Pillows: I don’t own these, but would get the tear drop or confetti one (extra large, of course) in a heart beat. The story of how they came into being, is here. Prices vary. ($35-60)

Jewellery

  • Bait’d: This is luxe—for collaring ceremonies, big anniversaries or when you screw up majorly. It’s beautiful, classy jewellery that converts into kinky accoutrement if/when you want it do. I haven’t tried any of these, but love the earrings. (Price varies but expensive is the general range)
  • Embellish Maille: Hand-made chain-maille day collars and other jewellery. I have one of the day collars and love it. When I wear it I get compliments galore.

Rope

  • Rope Space: Super high quality, handmade, jute rope. I interviewed the owner on The People of Kink, which you can listen to and get an idea of his passion to shibari and rope-making here. (15 feet of rope is $13; 30 feet of rope is $25)

Sex Toys

  • SheVibe: If you’d like to get a gift certificate so your someone can choose something for themselves (I never turn down a gift certificate–genitals are specific and you don’t know what someone else’s are going to like) then SheVibe is all about the ethical, sex positive toys. They are careful about carrying body-safe products, as well. If you decide to get something from SheVibe, you may want to do it through HeyEpiphora’s site, as she usually has discount codes galore. [This store is also where I got my first weenies.]
  • Tantus Uncut 1: I learned of this lovely from Oh Joy Sex Toy (though why on god’s green earth did they have to call the lightest shade ‘cream’?) Briefly, it’s an uncircumcised dildo that is dual-density–firm on the inside with a realistic skin-like outside. It’s a little big for me most of the time, but when I want it it’s amazing. And it’s just fun to play with. I should probably write a proper review of it. If you’d like to see me fiddling around with the dear, check out this post.

Toys & Gear For BDSM

  • Arcane: I have one of his handmade wood and leather floggers, which I got at Power Exchange Summit 2016. Holy moly was it difficult to decide which one to get. He’s also a genuinely nice fellow and his prices are quite reasonable.
  • Beautifully Bound: I do not own anything from this Australian shop, but just looking at their photos it’s obvious a lot of love and care go into each hand-crafted set of cuffs and collars. (One day, I plan to have a matching pair of cuffs and collar.) (Prices vary widely depending on what you’d like, but can be quite reasonable)
  • Daisy Corsets: I know the site is cringe-worthy and the address looks like it wants to steal your whole identity, but this is the manufacturer of my first corset, which I wrote about in this post. I happened to have a friend with me who knows about clothes/corset-making and she said it was very well made and an excellent price.