Category Archive: Personal Journey

Mar 24 2016

The Gift of Reality; or ‘It’s Just a TV Show’

‘It’s just a TV show.’ ‘Calm down, it’s just a movie.’ I used to think people who said these things were insane. They didn’t get it. Fiction created by other people was important. It was near life or death, okay? What the hell was wrong with them? Why were they all, ‘It’s only tits and …

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Mar 17 2016

When the Good News is the Bad News and Vice Versa

Previously on WTF, Are You Kidding Me?!: Two and a half weeks ago I found out I have HPV. After doing some research I wrote an essay (HPV: The Cockroach of STDs) to deal with the initial influx of overwhelming emotions. Being an asexual lesbian I found this very surprising. People who don’t have sex …

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Mar 13 2016

My Sex Map 1.0

After sitting in my folder for months, I’ve finally got around to filling in my first version of Franklin Veaux’s sex map. It’s a map of a fictional land and surrounding islands of various kinks, interests and play. You make your own map by sticking digital pins in it, which indicate you’ve tried something and liked …

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Mar 04 2016

Episode 006 The Slave

Episode the Sixth; in which The Pageist celebrates her first year being kinky, visits her first dungeon and almost envies *the* slave. 1.05 Intro & Announcements: Power Exchange Summit–Early Bird tickets are still available. If you’re into the power exchange thang, then you should go to it. The place I’m getting my sweet player–PodTrac–also has …

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Mar 03 2016

HPV: The Cockroach of STDs

This was never supposed to happen to me. No, really. An STD was NEVER supposed to happen to me. I’m an asexual lesbian. As in, a woman who is romantically attracted to other women but is not interested in sexual contact. But today I learned that HPV can be passed by skin-to-skin contact. I learned …

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Feb 14 2016

How to Support The Pageist

I have been pretty aimless for most of my life, well, all of my life. Over the last year I’ve realized what I really want to do is learn about kink, write about kink, talk about kink and eventually teach it (to law enforcement and law-makers, as a mediator–that sort of thing). I’ve written before …

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Jan 31 2016

Where I am Led Month 04

Similar to the previous three months, these are the most thought-provoking (for me) posts from the previous months’ prompts from the Where I am Led workbook by Christina ‘slavette’ Parker. This month had five weeks’ worth of prompts, which is five guideposts and writing assignments each and ten weekly thoughts to choose from. Weekly Guidepost …

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Dec 03 2015

Returning to My Original State

In my early twenties I made the decision to become English, at least in writing. I had moved away from the tiny, toxic town I’d grown up in, changed my first name and changed my accent from the Deliverance-worthy American Southern thing I’d been raised with to a generic American accent. But I needed to …

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Nov 22 2015

Where I am Led Month 03

Similar to the previous two months, these are the most thought-provoking (for me) posts from the previous month’s prompts from the Where I am Led workbook. This month had four weeks’ worth of prompts, which is four guideposts and writing assignments each and eight weekly thoughts to choose from. Weekly Guidepost Integrity. Your actions are …

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Nov 05 2015

Being Asexual and Kinky

What I Mean When I Say She’s Hot (Being Asexual and Kinky) Recently, I updated my FetLife profile and added this: I’m an asexual lesbian married to my best friend, whom I love dearly and who is a man. He is asexual, as well, and one of the best people I know. He knows I’m …

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Oct 29 2015

A Submissive Rite of Passage or Two

A Submissive Rite of Passage; Well, Two, Actually Some weeks ago someone contacted me through my site and wanted advice about a new stage of their submission. I couldn’t give advice being that I’m new to everything, which I’m open about on my blog. I said as much but that I was happy to befriend …

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Oct 25 2015

Where I am Led Month 02

Similar to last month, these are the most thought-provoking (for me) posts from the previous month’s prompts from Where I am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook. This month had four weeks’ worth of prompts, which is four guideposts and writing assignments each and eight weekly thoughts to choose from. I couldn’t narrow it down to …

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Oct 22 2015

How I Accidentally Became a Rope Top

Look. None of this was planned, okay. Last February (has it only been since then? It feels like years) I finally had the whole ‘Yer a submissive, Harry. I mean, Paige!’ realisation and started reading and writing about power exchange and was happy with knowing there were other people like me. I’ve never been a …

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Sep 27 2015

Sub Journal Prompt 004: SM and Pain

004. If SM is part of your dynamic explain how pain works for you. Is it a sexual turn on, a healing release, a spiritual moment, a session of giving? I’ve not experience the ‘good’ kind of pain so this is entirely conjecture, but I think it would depend on the circumstance. I’m not a …

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Sep 23 2015

30 Days of Kink Day 23: Perspectives

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so? I’m not sure I’d say my interests have changed—more that I’ve realised there was a name for the way I’m oriented so now I know where to look for more information on those things in order to learn more …

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Sep 20 2015

Where I am Led Month 01

A little over a month ago I started Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina “slavette” Parker. The book is set up to be completed over a year’s time, which I like. I’m not sure how I feel about some of the monthly assignments, which you’re supposed to learn how to do …

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Sep 19 2015

30 Days of Kink Day 19 Improvements

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they? Kink has improved my life in every way. I mentioned the essay Kink Fixed Me a few days ago and I mention it again here, as it describes many of the ways kink improved my life. The short version is …

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Sep 16 2015

30 Days of Kink Day 16 Difficult Aspects

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally? Thus far I haven’t had any difficulty, really. Quite the opposite, which I go into in the essay Kink Fixed Me. It’s about how realising I was kinky solved several life-long problems I’d had with …

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Sep 04 2015

30 Days of Kink Day 4: Early Hints

Day 4: Any early experience that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks? I refer back to yesterday’s post where I went through my early experiences as a way to explain I had been exhibiting signs of kinkyness and subdom long before those dreadful books and film were unleashed on the world to wreak their havoc, …

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Sep 03 2015

30 Days of Kink Day 3: Discovering You’re Kinky

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky? I’ve known realized I was submissive to a certain sort of woman since August of 2002 when I read Psychopathia Sexualis, which I’ve written about in my first two essays. Even though my kink (pageism) was under the heading of ‘masochism’ I still didn’t put it …

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