Category Archives: Mentors

The Evolution of Friendships and Polyamory

There was an excellent post on Medium recently about polyamory entitled The Bigger Picture of Polyamory by Jasna. There were several things that spoke to me, one is that I agree that being poly is a personality trait and not necessarily a relationship choice. She also put into words something I hadn’t been able to, […]

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BDSM Play When Trauma is Involved with Dr Wilde

This week’s mentor post concerns some favorite topics of ethical kinksters: safety, negotiation, communication and knowing oneself and one’s play partner. The author, a_wild_woman on Fet a.k.a. Dr Laura Wilde asked me to link to the original post on her personal website rather than repost, so you may read the full piece here: BDSM Play […]

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Dominance is Not About Being an Ass with undressedl

This week’s mentor post focuses on something we instinctively know but may not put into words well. That dominance isn’t about shouting or calling attention to how incredible you are. If you have to tell others that you are [nice/trustworthy/dominant] it means you aren’t confident in your ability to demonstrate those qualities with your actions. […]

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Service is the Drug with Mollena Williams

In this week’s mentor post Mollena Williams explains the appeal of service and the ways in which it can heal and provide an outlet for otherwise potentially negative impulses. One of the most ephemeral emotional states is that of satisfaction. The sensation of pleasure. By its very nature fleeting, satiation – emotional satisfaction – is […]

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No-Limits Submission with Pepper Pots

This writing was the subject of some controversy on Fetlife, there was discussion about the use of the phrase ‘no-limits’ in place of consensual non-consent. Or whether it was even possible to ethically have a CNC relationship. Janet W. Hardy would say it’s not possible, because a top would always be able to read the […]

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Non-Sexual BDSM with Pegasus

Beyond the Rainbow is a blog that frequently focuses on asexuality within a BDSM context. I recommend checking out the site in a general, but this post in particular articulately addresses the common question of what asexuals get out of kink. This was written for the December 2014 Carnival of Aces on “Touch, Sensuality, and […]

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Consent Accidents and Violations with Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is a sex educator and all round awesome guy. This is a longer post, but it’s full of valuable information about consent. Consent Accidents and Consent Violations I was at a discussion group recently and someone shared a term that I hadn’t heard before: consent accidents. This is a really valuable nuance in […]

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Being Brutally Polyamorous with Ferrett Steinmetz

Ferrett Steinmetz (TheFerrett to people on Fetlife) is hilarious and honest about the highs and lows of polyamory. In this week’s mentor post, he offers some advice to someone considering ‘taking it easy’ on the poly for the sake of their new monogamous partner. Be Brutally Polyamorous “I’m polyamorous, but my partner’s new to this. […]

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