The Pageist Shop

The Pageist shop is open with an initial set of collections for power exchange, s-types, kinksters, poly individuals and those with a Victorian bent. All apparel comes in multiple colours–express yourself! Notebooks (black, white or Victorian) can be modified with either blank, lined, grid or checklist pages.

Important note: because several items are tagged ‘bdsm’ they are rated PG-13 or R and will be invisible unless you log in to the site.


Perversion & Normality

Notebooks and apparel featuring the site’s unofficial motto.


(link here to choose light colours–hit the Perversion & Normality link for other styles and color options.)

What Would Your D-Type Want?

Notebooks and apparel to help s-types keep in mind what’s important. Whether you have a Ma’am, Sir, Mistress, Master or something else, there’s a version of this design for you.



Reminders for s-types

Notebooks and apparel that serve as reminders to be the sort of s-type that would make your D-type proud. A variety of s-types and D-types available.

(link here)

Resources for s-types

Supplies (binders) to assist s-types in their submission. These come in a variety of colours & two faux textures. Choose which size binder that’s best for you–1″, 1.5″, 2″. [Note: These are American size 3 ring binders.]

Butler’s books are useful for service people who need to keep up with the preferences of several people or who enjoy entertaining. Keep favourite recipes, cleaning secrets and other bits and bobs, as well as specific likes and dislikes of guests and Dominants. SubmissiveGuide has a handy guide for possible pages.

Owner’s Manuals/submissive resumes/slave resumes are documents for prospective D-types containing all the information they could need to know about an s-type. Compiling it is an excellent learning experience for a submissive and can highlight the areas where they excel and where they could focus a bit more. I’ve written about them here.

Victorian Lifestyle

Several William Morris designs on pocket notebooks for power exchange people, and a couple extra titles (milady and milord) for good measure. Also, swanky canvas journals with William Morris prints laser etched on. You’ll want to hit the link to see everything.

This is the back of the notebook when open. (link here)



The canvas journals have pockets for an ipad mini, business card and notes. (link here)

The Stealth Collection

Binders and canvas notebooks useful for flagging your kinky or poly side in a lowkey way. You can always say, ‘Oh, I just like the design.’

We can make the binders in different colours–just ask. Be sure to choose which size binder you’d like 1″, 1.5″, 2″. Note: these are American size 3 ring binders.

The canvas notebooks all come with a Moleskine journal and are refillable.






Notebooks and apparel about the people who want to fuck with your mind, but only consensually and in all the best ways.


Wish the Pageist a Happy Birthday

My birthday is this month (39!) and I’ve finally found a mission in life (letting people know they are just fine with their proclivities, whatever they are, and helping them learn to do their thing as safely as possible).

It’s my job and everything.

The Pageist

I’ve even started putting my face out there. (The shirt is from and says ‘I don’t have a dirty mind I have a sexy imagination.’)


Every single year has been better than the last and it’s great to look forward to life for the first time—let me tell you.

If you’d like to help me celebrate, show your appreciation or general friendship, my Amazon wishlist is here.

My wishlist is a little boring in that nearly everything on it would go toward work, but I love my job, so it’d still be a fun time all around. And you’d benefit from whatever arrives—either in the form of more high-quality podcasts (a new mic, boom, acoustic foam) or in the form of content itself (books).

There are also several free ways to show your support on the Support the Pageist page.

The biggest two are leaving a review on iTunes and linking to my site from your blog (if you have one).

I’m also a creative person (read: perpetually in need of feedback) and if you’d like to leave a comment below on what you like about the show or site or would like to see more of I would be endlessly grateful.



The Pageist’s Adult Fun Pack of Fun Giveaway

It’s my first giveaway and I couldn’t be more excited. Well, not without winning the lottery, anyway.

Several very cool people and companies have donated neato things for grownups who enjoy being creative—I’m going to compile them into three (mostly) identical packs—and send them off to winners.

Gleam is running the contest because I can’t fathom how that would work so if you don’t win, blame them. But, they also offer far more ways to enter than I ever could.

Dates and Eligibility

[Edit: This contest has ended and the winners have been contacted. Thank you to everyone who participated!]

It’s open to people over 18 who live in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, NZ and Europe. Maybe my next giveaway can be worldwide, but I’m trying not to make myself insane this time round.

Winners will have to give me their addresses, but considering how I feel about outing, they should consider themselves safe as houses.

What You Can Win

What’s in each pack, you ask?

1 SheVibe NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book (this thing is hilarious—I have to get one for my birthday)

If you have to have one now, they’re here.

1 Kinky Coloring by Bait’D Designs — I don’t have a physical copy yet, as they’re still being printed, but you can thank them for giving me the idea for this entire madness. Have some images they’ve sent thus far:

Bait’D has some swanky stuff, I tell you.

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1 notebook from — I met these guys at Eroticon and they are genuinely cool human beings. The notebooks come with two different covers (see below). This is where the (mostly) from above comes in. After the contest has ended I’ll contact the winners and they can each let me know which one they want.

The notebooks have the soft touch covers, a red ribbon bookmark sewn in and elastic closure. They are unlined and the edges of the pages are red.

Each notebook has around 100 pages.

1 t-shirt from — After setting up the giveaway, the merch arrived and they’d included not only more notebooks than requested (enough I can email each winner and they can choose which type they’d like, rather than me picking one for them) but they’d also thrown in t-shirts. I didn’t even ask for those!

The t-shirts are all Medium, but run a little small. They’re very soft on the skin and are made to fall off one shoulder a bit. These people!

Notebooks of your choice and sexy t-shirts for all!

2 stickers from AliceinBondageLand — Alice! Alice is a friend of the show and I love her. And stickers are always fun. And I love her. These stickers are well-traveled. They came from the west coast of the U.S. to England to wherever you live.

@BondageLand or @GoAskAlice or @AliceinBondageLand depending where you are

1 I [love] smut pin/badge from Victoria Blisse — another very cool person I met at Eroticon. If you listen to my show, you probably love smut, too.

Do you like smut? I know *I* do!

I’ll also send a handwritten note and a couple of my promotional bookmarks.

Smut badge from Victoria Blisse and my bookmarks, which I am proud of.

Are you ready to get in on this? Yeah? Yaaaay!

The Pageist’s Adult Fun Pack of Fun Giveaway

Con Drop and Cough Drops

I have returned from Eroticon (which was enormous fun) with some sort of illness (not any amount of fun). Walter had it as we arrived in London on Friday and it began for me as we returned Sunday evening or Monday morning. I can’t recall now, as I’m pretty zapped.

I have a cough and sore throat and generally no energy or will to move. I’ll be posting some photos left over from the conference that I didn’t post at the time, but mostly I’ll be reading this week’s book and sleeping.

The poetry for patrons and Romance of Lust readings will be late, due to the bleurgy, as will, probably, the podcast episode this week, considering how frequently I have to keep checking what day it is, between long periods of staring at nothing. Time has acquired an oddly fluid quality that I don’t care for.

Thank you for your patience. As a reward (I guess, I hope) have this:

I was saving up for a new computer so I didn’t have a budget for much, but I did buy a toy from Godemiche (pronounced god-mee-SHAY).

The Apprentice–it’s for your butt.

In case you can’t tell what it looks like… for size comparison:

The mug was a freebie from girlonthenet, who is wonderful.

I’ve wanted a smoother, thinner toy for awhile now, since penetration isn’t my thing but I need to learn to deal/cope with or, perhaps, enjoy it, one day, since I have to have regular pap smears, thanks to having HPV.

The plan was to have something smaller and frictionless to use to begin working up to a more ‘typical’ size during my medicinal play sessions.

I’m a basic sort of person–if something is available in black, that’s what I’m going for. Shoes, underwear, coats, bags, sex toys.

But Godemiche has some incredible colours–they’re pretty on their site, but I’ve seen them in person and can attest to their beauty up close.

The owners of the company were there and they’re both passionate about what they do–they clearly love it. We chatted for a bit and their enthusiasm was infectious.

I haven’t tried mine yet because nothing is less sexy than feeling sick, but I plan to write a review at some point, so you’ll hear about it eventually.

Eroticon 2017 Virtual Introduction


NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

Paige, sometimes people call me The Pageist. @thepageist

What are you hoping to get out of Eroticon 2017?

This is my first Eroticon so I’m looking forward to meeting people whose work I enjoy and who have experience doing what I’m still fairly new at.

Simply being around other people who do a similar job and understand the wonderful weirdness involved (that an ‘erotic creative’ can’t necessarily share with the other people in their lives) will be refreshing.

I suppose I’m most hoping to get community out of this year’s Eroticon.

This year’s schedule at Eroticon is pretty full on, but which 4 sessions do you already have marked down as ones you want to attend?

Plotting the Erotic Story (led by Ashley Lister). Learning how to be a better writer also improves a person’s critical reading skills, which will benefit the book reviews I do for my podcast. Two-for-one special, there.

A History of Erotic Writing and Obscenity in Britain (led by Kate Lister a.k.a. Whores of Yore). I’m a big fan of the Whores of Yore Twitter account and this talk would be right up my street anyway, so the fact that it’s being taught by someone whose work I’m into is a bonus.

Alternative Endings (led by Rachel Kincaid). I am always interested in new ways of approaching story and since my own kinks are a little different from the typical erotica fare (meaning I’m going to have to write my own) this class seems relevant to my interests.

How to use your blog to educate (led by Emmeline Peaches, Formidable Femme, Hot Octopus). One of the reasons I started my blog was in order to educate so… yup.

Also, I’ll be camped out with the Kink Craft people, making some fun stuff. I wouldn’t miss that for anything. I interviewed them on my show about what they’d be making this year and I’m very excited.

Tell us one thing about yourself that not many people know.

This is difficult because I tend to feel like I rabbit away at people, yammering all about myself. Then it turns out I’ve known someone for five years and they think I’m an only child because I’ve somehow never mentioned I have four half-siblings, eleven nieces and nephews and six great-nieces and nephews.

I keep more to myself than I realise so I don’t know what most people don’t know.

If you made the papers, what would the headline be?

Idiot American (who’s lived in England long enough to know better) hit by bus after looking wrong way AGAIN.

If you could have one skill for free (i.e. without practice/time/effort) what would it be?

The ability to play the violin by ear so I could play any song I heard on piano, guitar, etc on violin.

Complete the sentence: I love it when…

People neither tell me to smile nor comment on the fact that my resting expression looks like that of a serial killer—they just let my face sit on the front of my head without feeling the need to make me self-conscious about it. My skull carts my brain around—it’s purely decorative. I’m more concerned with what’s in it than its appearance.


[If you’d like to see introductions of more people coming to Eroticon, check this page.]

How to Support the Pageist

Free Ways to Support the Podcast and Website

Follow the Twitter account (@thepageist) and retweet posts about reviews I’ve published and podcast episodes that have gone live.

Follow thepageist on Medium and like and recommend my writings (if you actually like them). Share them on your own social media if you’re comfortable with that. This spreads my work to a larger audience.

Follow thepageist on Tumblr and reblog my posts and podcast episodes when links appear there. My Tumblr is 18+ and NSFW, but it’s pretty classy—there is no hardcore pornography (though I’m certainly not against that). You should check it out at any rate.

Like the Facebook page and share the posts you find useful if you’re comfortable doing so.

Rate the show on iTunes or other podcast apps (and leave a review if you have time!) This pushes the show up in rankings, helping it find a wider audience.

Tell your friends, people at your munch or dungeon. Just let people know about the show or website. If you’re looking through the site and find something of interest, there are social media links on every post, share on whatever platform you’d like.

Un-free Ways to Support the Podcast and Website

Patreon is the big one. There are a range of support levels, with rewards for each one. My goals (after upgrading my equipment to bring you higher quality podcasts) involve giving back to the kink and sex educator community in various ways. More specific information is available on Patreon.

If recurring payments aren’t an option, you can also order something from my Amazon wishlist. The vast majority of things there are books. I’m not trying to get rich or looking for swag—I pretty much live for the show and site.

If you own a BDSM or sex positive-based site, podcast, book, shop, whatever and you’d like to sponsor the show, let’s talk. If you know someone who fits that description, send them my way. My email address is thepageist[at]gmail[dot]com

Why You May Consider Supporting The Pageist

I’ve written before about how kink has changed my life. The shortest version possible is that I struggled with my sexuality for twenty years (nothing to do with kink—more being gay) but once I realised I was kinky everything changed, overnight. I was all right. I simply approached the world in a different way than most other people and different wasn’t wrong, it was simply different.

I want to give that back.

The mission statement of The Pageist, in all its forms, is to let people know that, whatever their kink, they are not alone. There can be some heavy judgment even in the BDSM community and everyone deserves to be seen and validated. Also, the aim is to provide education and direct people to sources of information so they can learn more about themselves and how to practise their interests as safely as possible.

I do everything on the site and podcast. I am The Pageist. And I love it. It’s more than a full-time job. I’ve pretty much given up hope of reading or watching vanilla books or films ever again because I simply don’t have time. I’m okay with that because it gives me the opportunity to learn everything possible about this amazing, intense, expansive world and share the best bits with my audience so they—no matter their proclivities—will find something they can relate to.

In order to do a more-than-full-time job, I can’t have a traditional job. Nor do I want one anymore.

Helping people be more comfortable with themselves feels like a calling—something that would have made my eyes roll right out of my head two years ago, but here we all. Having to do anything else would feel like I was wasting my time and energy on something that wasn’t doing as much good in the world. Because I understand deeply what it is to feel completely alone and to live every day with self-hatred so profound it seems to be part of the fabric of your being.

But it isn’t. That’s something someone else put on you like a straight-jacket. Literally trying to make you a straight in vanilla terms. My goal is to get people out of that jacket. (And into heavy bondage, if that’s what they’re into, but only with full consent.)

Teeny Weenies — My First Weenies

Last month one of my favorite sex toy reviewers, Hey Epiphora, reviewed tiny dildos, which are apparently a thing that many dildo companies make as promotional items. They’re really small. Smaller than your pinky. They can’t possibly be used for… purposes.

It was an April Fools Joke of a review, but she actually did all the things she writes about and it’s hilarious.

So, since then, I’ve been fascinated by these little … things.

So pretty! So tiny! So useless! Gimmee! (source)

So pretty! So tiny! So useless! Gimmee! (source)

I don’t know why. I have problems. They have zero function. I just know I want to collect them.

So she had an offer on her site where you could get some for free from She-Vibe if you placed an order over $75 and used the code WEENIE.


I went over to see if there was anything on the site I wanted–if not I wouldn’t get anything–but they had the Pocket Dungeon (to be reviewed here later) and it was on sale. Usually it’s $125 and they had it for $79.

I’ve read reviews that said it was a good kit but pricey, so I thought this was a good deal (and I would get to start my collection of teeny weenies).

So… photos.

The Teeny Weenies came in a lovely little baggie with a sticker.

Teeny Weenies in bag

This is a pack from Vamp.

My first Weenies!

Teeny Weenies in hand

They’re like marbles. Each is unique.

Epiphora lists hers thusly:

My “tinies” from Tantus come in two shapes, modeled after their classic Goliath and newer Uncut #1. They’re cast in Tantus’ standard semi-firm silicone in a variety of flashy colors.

Bad Dragon’s Teenie Weenies are the softest and most detailed. I have a tiny Fenrir the Wolfdragon, Nova the Breeder, Moko the Liger, and a Crackers the Cockatrice in a really cool bluish grey with gold sparkles.

I also own a mini Patchy Paul from Fun Factory, the tallest of the tiny dildos at 2.75″. Purple and worm-like, it seems to be hiding a dark secret in its devious smile. WHAT DOES IT KNOW? What has it seen?

The tiny dildos from Vamp, called “weenies,” are more simplistic in their design. They’re flat on the back, almost as if they were designed for display rather than insertion, and shaped like exaggerated cartoonish versions of penises. Unlike the others, they are not modeled after any of the typically-sized dildos the company makes — which is a bit of a marketing fail if you ask me. Tiny dildos should cause a yearning for their larger doppelgangers, but these do not. Nor do they cause a yearning for flesh-and-blood dicks. (Although, to be fair, not much makes me crave those.)

Sing it, sister.

I’m an asexual lesbian. It makes NO SENSE that I should be so enamored with these things. And yet, here we are.

I don’t make the rules, people. I just report the facts.

My current favorite is the purple and white swirly one. I wouldn’t trade that one in a teeny peen trade.

Which is totally a thing that should exist.

I love them. Once they arrived I took photos and shared them with my online friends and we discussed display options.

I like the way they look in the bowl above, but, being silicone, they attract dust and fluff out of nowhere and that’s just gross.

In Epiphora’s review she has some in a glass of water and that’s very pretty, but you’d need it in front of a window so the light could shine through and there’s no place in my hovel that would work.

Bean recommended a shadow box. Not a bad idea but more work than I was willing to put in and I wouldn’t know where to put the boxes.

Then a friend said a Ball jar would be perfect. Also known as a Mason jar or a canning jar.

Cackling, I grabbed my weenies and ran into the kitchen.

Teeny Weenies in Jar 01

The illustrious Bean is in the background, there, on the other side of the jar. Say hi!

Fittingly, the person who recommended the Ball jar solution was the person who’d sent me the jar in the first place (with jam in it). He was pleased with his contribution.

These little things are fascinating. Both my husband and Bean (and myself, obviously) spent time really examining them and squishing them and just generally being absorbed by their mere existence.

One asexual man and two lesbians. Just captivated by little dicks. We were showing one another various features of whatever one we happen to be looking at.

I found putting two back-to-back (since the ones I have are flat) make them a good size to fit in your palm to squeeze like a stress toy.

From now on, when I order anything from a dildo manufacturer I’m going to ask if they have any and if I may purchase or have a couple.

The Bad Dragon people sell five random ones at a time (the link is above in the Epiphora quote) and I shall be acquiring some of those at some point.

Do you have any teeny peens? If so, wanna trade? The purple swirly isn’t on the block, but I might let the other two go for a good offer.

How to Support The Pageist

I have been pretty aimless for most of my life, well, all of my life. Over the last year I’ve realized what I really want to do is learn about kink, write about kink, talk about kink and eventually teach it (to law enforcement and law-makers, as a mediator–that sort of thing).

I’ve written before how much realizing I’m kinky has changed my life–for the better. If everyone were as comfortable as I am with myself now the world would be a happier place, let me tell you.

For the first time in my life I have a goal. I understand those people with a five year plan. I didn’t get those people before. I’d think, ‘I don’t know what I want for dinner, let alone what I want to do next year.’

Now I know what I want to do with my life–I want to help people be comfortable with their kinky selves and I want to help the people who aren’t kinky understand there’s nothing wrong with the people who are.

My husband and I do not live an extravagant life, nor do we want to. My husband’s job pays a good portion of what we need, but we don’t really have any savings in case of emergency and if our 18 year old Jeep dies we’re screwed. Where we live only understands the words ‘public’ and ‘transportation’ as two separate concepts, not a joined phrase.

‘Of course,’ I now think, ‘I’ve chosen a life path that isn’t exactly lucrative.’ But I’m okay with that. As I said, I’m not an extravagant person. I’d just be happy helping other people be happy and comfortable with themselves and getting other people to the point of not being frightened of what they don’t understand.

So if you think the site and podcast is bringing a little more kinky goodness and information into your life than was there before and you’d like to support it (and me in the process) you can do so by purchasing books and films reviewed. Purchases must be made through the links provided on the reviews (I’m currently adding links to films I’ve reviewed–the books are complete.)

Don’t worry–I won’t be adding banners or ads–the yellow doesn’t go with my theme and I like having total control over content. I know, I know, I’m so submissive, right?

This decision also won’t affect how I rate media, meaning I won’t give higher ratings as a way to ‘sell’ product. If something isn’t great it isn’t great.

In the coming months I’ll be setting up a Patreon account for the podcast, with various perks so if you’re not interested (or already have) the media on offer, but still want to contribute you can wait until then.

Also in the works is a Zazzle shop with bits and bobs.

(A PayPal donation page isn’t possible, as they do not allow sex-based sites to use them.)

If you’re feeling generous in some completely other way, here is my Amazon Wishlist. It’s mostly books.

What your generous donations will go towards

  • Food sometimes, as occasionally money gets tight at the end of the month.
  • Food for our 17 year-old-cats. They need special food, for they are ancient.
  • Books. Information is important for my brain and goals.
  • I would like to become a member of NCSF–the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom–and/or make donations to them. They do great work. And I’ll probably end up volunteering with them.
  • Kinkpacks from KinkAcademy. Oh, the kinkpacks. There’s so much to learn, people! If I got these I would probably definitely review them.
  • The occasional travel expenses, as I would like to attend other kink-events.

If I made enough to cover what little I make as a freelance writer then I could focus all of my energy on the site and podcast. I recognize not everyone gets the opportunity to do what they love, but for the first time in the nearly four decades I’ve been alive I wake up with a purpose and goal every day. It’s pretty amazing.


Boobs and a Rant

An edit of a Yuji Susaki photograph.

An edit of a Yuji Susaki photograph.

The boobs are very nice so I’m going to keep this rant brief.

I source most all of my erotic images from Tumblr. When I find one I want to share I use multiple reverse image search engines (SauceNAO, IQDB, TinEye and Google) to try to find the original. Most of the time this is unsuccessful.

I genuinely want to credit artists. They deserve the recognition and, if you need a selfish reason, you’ll be able to find more art to perv over.

Original posters of content on Tumblr, please post the artist responsible for the work you enjoy enough to share. That person put a great deal of time, energy, and probably money into their art. Is it that sexy photography seems worth less because sex is considered shameful or dirty or base? Like how erotica is considered worth less than mainstream fiction?

Whatever the reason, you’d want your work credited so credit others, please.

And if you know of a better reverse image search tool, please leave a comment.

Porn for Men

I’ve written before about how admins can see the search terms visitors used to find their sites.

This time I signed in and was greeted by this:

porn for men

No, I don’t know what leathers 50 sex is, either.

Now, I know why the person was directed to my site–it was due to the ‘Lesbian Porn for Men vs for Lesbians‘ piece–that’s not what confused me.

What confused me was why a person would need to add ‘for men’ after typing in ‘porn’ into a search engine.

All porn is for men. Just… all of it. A human individual has to go out of their way to find porn not geared towards men.

Which is fine, since that’s who buys most of it. I’m just saying. The searcher could have saved themselves a few key strokes.

It’d make sense if they were searching for porn for gay men. Or porn for black men. Or some other specific type of men.

Then I started wondering if they had a specific sort of media in mind but they didn’t have the words to describe it.

Like, maybe they thought seeing too much of the dude in the porn made it gay, because they might, for a nanosecond, think the guy had nice muscles or manscaping or something.

But they didn’t want it to be all women, either. Because we all know women can’t be satisfied without some serious manliness all up in their girl-parts.

Perhaps they wanted a stand-in cock they could pretend was theirs, but didn’t want to see or hear too much other dude-ness. Because…gay.

Maybe that’s ‘porn for men’ for that person?

I don’t know. But I’m curious now.

Hey, porn for men person! If you’re reading this, please contact me. I really want to know what you’re looking for. If you’re too shy and I guessed right, trying looking for ‘gonzo porn‘, as much of it is shot from first-person and there’s no talking.

Is that it?! No talking? Porn for men would be porn with no dialogue whatsoever, right? Just sex!

Am I right? Do I win?

Gonzo porn. THAT’S porn for men.

… Oh god. I’m going to get so many hits now. So many disappointed hits.

I’m sorry. This isn’t what you’re looking for.

Or maybe this IS what you're looking for? I don't judge. (source)

Or maybe this IS what you’re looking for? I don’t judge. (source)

This is going to be a thing, isn’t it? Where occasionally I respond to something truly beautiful from my Top Searches. I’ll have to come up with a tag for it.

My Introduction to Leather Care

I’ve … let’s use the word ‘appreciated’ leather for quite some time.

I asked for a leather jacket when I was seventeen and that wasn’t during a time when leather jackets were in style.

Leather cuffs–just regular wrist bands that can be worn in public (and the other sort, too) have always held a certain appeal.

I had to get a new one a couple weeks ago. My old one stopped creaking.

I had to get a new one a couple weeks ago. My old one stopped creaking. Gads. It’s by coolsteelandbeyond

I’ve also owned a leather collar for many years.


What was this post supposed to be about?

Oh right. Leather care.

For whatever reason, I hadn’t learned the correct way to care for leather until just recently. I had used dubbin on my Doc Martins and other leather things–bags and boots–but I hadn’t polished anything properly.

I was under the impression it would be difficult and I would permanently ruin my (whatever I was polishing).

But if you’re going to be a Good Sub(tm) you’d better learn to do proper leather care, right? (Really, it was the monthly practical project in Where I am Led.)

So I started with a small kit that got good reviews on Amazon (Kiwi Military Show Care Kit). The negatives were that the brush lost hairs at first so to use it outside in the beginning. Easy enough.

The obsession begins.

I hauled out my poor boots. (I work from home now and never wear them out, which is why the were in such a sad state.)

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First I removed laces from the two pairs that had laces.

Then I wiped them down with a damp sponge to remove the worst of the disappointment.

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Then I read the directions in my kit, which said to apply the polish with the cloth or the applicator brush and to let that dry before buffing with the larger brush.

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Then I re-laced everything.

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On my Doc Martins I use a spiderweb lace style, which I’d forgotten how difficult was to do properly. That took longer than cleaning and polishing that pair of boots.

Closer look at the lacing.

Closer look at the lacing.

It’s not a big deal that the one on the left is loose. When I put them on I’ll make sure everything is extra tight and tied and tucked on the inside. Eventually, I’ll be able to get the laces all the way to the top again–they were at that point when I brought them out.

During my foray into this adventure I learned about boot-shapers–things that hold tall boots upright so they don’t fall over like they’ve just heard bad news. This is better for the leather in the long run, and will make it easier to polish, in future, as well. I got the Western style, which work fine, but should have got these. It’s the same company, just a slightly different style.

This is why my boots look so proud to be polished in that last set of photos. It wasn’t because the polishing boosted their self esteem or anything.

It boosted my self esteem, though. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. The buffing was almost meditative and seeing a part of my wardrobe that was looking so sad come out renewed by my own work was rewarding. It’s easy to understand how people get into bootblacking as a hobby.

Now I’m eyeballing a leather jacket I have in my closet that, due to our ridiculous humidity, has some minor damage. Nothing like the boots, but I’m wondering if polishing will work…

(And boot polish smells amazing.)

The Best BDSM Relationship on Film

Dun dun dun DUN :snap snap:

Gomez and Morticia Addams have not only one of most passionate relationships on TV/the big screen–still driving one another crazy even after two kids and who knows how many years of marriage–but they are also well-versed in the kink thing. Caroline Diezyn explores this in The Addams Family does BDSM right for London Fuse.

THIS is the opening scene, fer crying out loud. (credit)

THIS is the opening scene, fer crying out loud.

I had a poster of Morticia Addams on my wall when I was thirteen. I went to see the film when it came out, twice. I’ve since watched it several times.

I am a dense person.

Because it’s not like it was obvious.

Then again, I hadn’t worked out I was a kinky person until recently. I only knew those wacky Addamses went about things a bit differently than everyone else and didn’t care what anyone thought.

Growing up I only knew I was a little Gothling (well, sort of, it wasn’t called that then. I was just a person who wore too much black and read Poe.) And I liked the dark humour.

And I thought Morticia was awesome and gorgeous. And I wanted to be friends with Wednesday.

In the article linked above, Diezyn talks about Morticia and Gomez being a couple of switches, which is …true. Which is fascinating, as that’s something else that isn’t generally shown in films with blatant kink.

And the kink in The Addams Family is really, really blatant.

Clearly, I need to rewatch the film. Oh darn.

Now that I think about it–Morticia was one of my first big crushes. I was exclusively into blondes for a very long time after that, but it may explain my recent hardcore conversion. Tall, pale, raven haired women in black are obviously into pain.

And know what they're doing, too. (credit)

And know what they’re doing, too. (credit)

30 Days of Kink: The Last Fetish Shop in N.O.

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

I had planned to write about my romp amongst the multiple fetish shops that were no doubt thriving in New Orleans, what with all the sinners and all. (Drinking on the street is legal there–this is unusual in the U.S.)

I was sorely disappointed.

Prior to my trip to the bayou, I had received information from a former resident of New Orleans that there would be several kink shops in the French Quarter. This was fortunate, as our accommodation was within walking distance.

The first clue my quest would be a futile one was when Google returned zero hits when searching for the shops I wanted. When I did find a reference it was some lamentation or another for a long-time shop having closed.

I thought the fault lay with me and my inability to find anything ever using internet search engines.

Because, surely, New Orleans still had at least five active fetish shops.

We’d simply ask at a gay club. Rawhide sounded like a promising start.

Before we got that far, we came across Boutique du Vampyre, which is a funky little shop with loads of handmade (well-made) items. They had gorgeous corsets and I had a friend there who sews who checked it out and gave me the thumbs up saying it was very high-quality. The one I chose was an under corset and it was $150. When I showed it to another corset aficionado who was with us but not on that expedition she gave me a high five for finding something that nice at that price. She also laced me me into it.

Behold, my first corset!

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(It’s by Daisy Corsets if you want to check out their incredible line.)

The woman there, the very cool and lovely Marita Jaeger gave us the news there weren’t really any fetish shops left. She said there was a place that may have some things, which turned out to be QT Pie at 241 Dauphine. They had a sister site, Panda Bear (415 Bourbon St), which was 99% sex toys and lingerie and a few fetish gear type things.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I had hoped for an experience similar to the first time going to a gay bookstore, which had buttons and stickers and books and t-shirts and all sorts of gay-themed things, but with a kinky bent. (heh heh) I had felt less alone in the world and spent far too much money there. Not this time, alas.

Boutique du Vampyre saved my trip. I wound up going back to give them more money and get other things, since I had been holding back on the assumption I’d be throwing cash around like mad in the actual fetish shop.

Oh well. At least I know my google skills aren’t as bad as I’d thought.


30 Days of Kink Day 29: Titles

I don't have oneDay 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

I do not have a title (unless The Pageist counts, which I’d be pleased with). None of the titles I’ve heard other people called or used have resonated with me.

In regard to other people and titles: knock yourself out. If someone has a title that feels right to them and everyone in their kink family is on-board then go nuts. Just don’t expect people outside of your family to call you Lord DragonCock or whatever.


[graphic from here]

30 Days of Kink Day 28 Attire

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

I haven’t actually done anything, but in my head I would go to dungeons (and I intend to do this eventually) in black jeans, a white button down top and black leather corset or waist corset of some description. I’m not sure about shoes. Probably riding boots. Those aren’t really subby—I think of those as being more ‘On your knees, worm!’ but they’re comfortable.

I'm more into fashion corsets than waist-training. (credit)

I’m more into fashion corsets than waist-training. (credit)

Because I have the whole ‘Very Good Secretary’ fetish thing I also like the idea of dressing that way. Sort of office appropriate for an assistant to the sort of woman a friend of mine calls the Head Bitch in Charge (HBiC). That would probably really confuse people, though. ‘Did she come here straight from the office?’

During scenes I would prefer to wear something feminine but not too fussy. Stockings are hot, but I’ve never had the urge to wear them. A camisole with a bit of lace trim and matching boy shorts. Thongs aren’t my thing and wedgies aren’t sexy. I like wearing something, though. I think of my style in that department as somewhere between baby girl and slut. (I use both words as compliments and recognise that one person can be both things. Clothing-wise, one is pink jim-jams with sheep on and the other is crotchless panties and sheer bras. Both have their positive attributes but neither are ‘me’.)

I’m not sure how to answer the significance question. My clothing choices are what feel natural to me. Those choices are how I would express my submissive side. In public I wouldn’t be nude—or even close to it—because my submission would be for my Dominant. But I still love the way leather looks. And I want to be comfortable—both that evening and the next few days—so heels are not an option.

In scenes I would be more comfortable covered (though wearing less than my Dominant) at least for a time. I just find that more interesting/sexy. Obviously, if my Dominant made a request for something—a costume or particular type of lingerie—I’d be amenable.

30 Days of Kink Day 27: Non-kink activities

30 Days of Kink. Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

All of my kinky activities are in my head, but my non-kink interests involved reading, writing and organizing. If I had a Dominant who wanted me to read books so we could discuss them or write erotica for her and who asked me to organize her desk/study/house for her I’d be happy.

My other non-kink interest is animal welfare, but I’m not into pet play or bestiality so… that would be a no.

When you're studying for a test for your Domme and fall asleep...

When you’re studying for a test for your Domme and fall asleep…

(I cannot find the owner/original of this image. If you know who it belongs to, please leave a comment so I can attribute it.)