Episode 069: 50 Shades of Kink

Episode the sixty-ninth; wherein the Pageist reveals why comedians are not to be trusted, despairs over technology and enthuses about the new shop. The book reviewed is 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM by Tristan Taormino.

.44 Intro and Announcements:

  • Thank you to Mark for recommending an alternative to Skype! Here’s to clearer interviews in future.
  • Several survey responses, which always makes my day. If you’d like to take the (brief, anonymous) survey, you may do so here.
  • The site’s old theme is no longer nice to look at on desktop so has been jettisoned for this one until Walter can build a new site from scratch. At least this is classy.
  • Our Zazzle shop is nearly ready to launch! Just in time for the shopping season.
  • Kate Lister (@WhoresofYore) is writing a book called A Curious History of Sex. You can help fund it here.

5.15 My Submissive Life:

  • Thanks to Arthur Chu (@arthur_affect) for reminding me of some things I had forgotten about comedy. One of his threads inspired this week’s segment.

11.24 Book Review:

(source)

  • This episode’s book is 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM by Tristan Taormino. The precursor to her book The Ultimate Guide to Kink, which is for more experienced people, this one is an excellent beginner’s guide. Covering everything from common myths to how negotiation and contracts work to a wide array of actual kink practices succinctly, this one would also be a good choice for a vanilla person who was curious about what kinky people actually do.
  • Amy from Coffee & Kink talks about why 50 Shades branded materials are useful and important in this blog post.
  • AliceinBondageLand joined me to talk Chastity and orgasm control, which is covered in the book.

25.08 Closing Remarks:

  • Thank you for tuning in!
  • In the next episode I’ll be interviewing the hosts of Red Light Library about reviewing erotica.
  • Support the show through PayPal!
  • Support the show and site on Patreon and get bonus content each month!
  • Like The Pageist on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads, Quora, Medium, and Instagram and join the Fetlife group.
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  • Subscribe to the iTunes feed here. You can also rate the show in iTunes, which would be much appreciated!
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  • All episodes can be heard in an embedded player on this page.

Poly Land by Page Turner

(source)

[This is the text of the book review from episode 68.]

The review this episode is Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory by Page Turner. A more apt title for a book there has never been.

I received this book for free, but you know me. Get set for what I think.

Do you enjoy reality television?

The kind where they find people you wouldn’t want to spend time with but are weirdly compelling to watch? The kind that have entire threads on Twitter with their own hashtags—maybe you have a pool at work to see who’s going to flame out first?

Then this is the book for you!

Seriously, I did enjoy it, but talk about a dumpster fire in the middle of a clusterfuck.

While I was reading it someone on Twitter asked if every book on poly was an example of what not to do and I was like: The one I’m reading is. I like it but everyone needs an interpersonal communication class.

The author, @PolydotLand, liked that tweet and agreed, saying she thought everyone could use several communication classes.

It reminded me of Dan from Erotic Awakening. He says that he and dawn spent their first two years of polyamory just doing polyamory all wrong. Reading this book was like watching that unfold before me and being powerless to stop it or help.

People. Books are your friends. Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton. Jealousy Survival Guide by Kitty Chambliss. They can help you.

I wanted to live tweet it. Seriously. ‘Oh, NOW this has happened. … I mean, of course.’

It would be an interesting read for a poly group. The discussion would be… lively. It was definitely an object lesson in the variety of ways to avoid communication and the disastrous consequences of doing so.

Between chapters about the author’s life, which charts a course from a less-than-stellar monogamous, patently unhappy marriage to something infinitely better after going through reality television-worthy hell, there are chapters called Poly Signposts, which cover important things to know about ethical non-monogamy. Including things like the difference between the poly scene for dudes and for women (because it’s very different). And New Relationship Energy—or NRE.

I’d be reading these signposts thinking, ‘All right, clearly you’ve learned a lot—are we going to see that growth in the book because the people in your life are yeesh. Run awaaaaaay. You’re better than this.’

I’ve never heckled a book before. I’m telling you, the Twitter hashtag would be incredible.

But it was very, very useful. And entertaining. I looked forward to getting back to the drama (something I avoid like the plague in real life) to see how else people could communicate badly.

There are some bad communicators out there. In ways I hadn’t imagined.

Look folks—if you want to be in the ethical non-monogamy crew, you have to talk to other people about your needs and wants. I hate talking about my feelings, too, but I just have to suck it up. That’s the ethical part.

Speaking of ethics. This book demonstrates that it is possible to cheat within polyamory. And it’s not cool.

There’s also a sexual assault near the end of the book. It’s handled delicately and isn’t graphic and it’s recounted briefly, but it’s there—the author does mention it in the copy so it’s not a surprise. Props to her for that.

The people in her life dealt with it better than I would have ever imagined. So it wound up being… not positive, but it turned out okay. About as okay as anything of this sort could turn out. It was a demonstration of the best way to handle a terrible situation.

Earlier in the book something happened where someone had to … well, they didn’t have to, but they had sex with another person’s wife into order to be able to have sexual access to the husband faster because the wife was strict about access and it was a faster route. Maybe I’m being asexual over here, but … The wife in question was a real piece of work, let me tell you.

The author is a bisexual woman with a high libido and a kinky streak and an interest in telling people what she feels so, you know, she should be having the time of her life in the poly scene, but the initial bunch of humans she’s dealt are some seriously entitled dudes and women who refuse to have straight up conversation using understandable language.

She has her own flaws, which she doesn’t hide, but in many ways, Turner seems made for polyamory, and just needed to get through the initiative test of the first few years.

Yes, it’s one of those ‘here’s how not to do poly’ books, but it’s entertaining (if enraging because who ARE these people) and if you’re already in healthy relationships it will make you appreciate them more.

Granted, this book sort of made me not want to try to date… so that’s bad. But I certainly know what to look out for when I get out there. I also know what I won’t stand for and what I need—two things that weren’t in abundance when the author started her poly journey.

Style-wise, the author is real. It reads like someone telling their story and sharing occasional letters and chats. It’s not highly polished, but also not so ‘human’ so as to be unreadable.

If you’re looking primarily for information on how to do healthy ethical non-monogamy, go for Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. If you’re looking for help dealing with specifc, difficult emotions, try Kitty Chambliss’ Jealousy Survival Guide. If you’re looking for what happens if you fling caution to the wind and date whatever random shows up—what it’s like out there for people who don’t prepare themselves—go for Poly Land. It was a ride and a half. If she writes a sequel, I would absolutely read it. I give this 5/5.

[The author has a website, Poly.Land, with quizzes, resourses and writing about polyamory–it’s pretty cool.]

Episode 068: Poly Land

Episode the sixty-eighth; Wherein the Pageist tells the story of meeting her Ultimate Hero and also shares some good news. The book reviewed is Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory by Page Turner.

.44 Intro and Announcements:

  • New listeners in the Faroe Islands, which was a brand new place to me and was fascinating! Welcome!
  • Two survey responses that I really needed to see–thank you! You can take the survey here and make my day, too!
  • Big squashy hugs to Joanna, my first PayPal donation person! Hey lady!
  • We’re working on the shop for the site, with the plan to launch it in the next week or so! Much excitement!

6.47 My Submissive Life:

  • This episode’s segment is about why I appreciate my listeners and why you shouldn’t meet your heroes.

16.48 Book Review:

(source)

  • This episode’s book is Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory by Page Turner.
  • It is creative non-fiction about the author’s journey from an unhappy, monogamous marriage, into her early years doing poly all the wrong ways–with some of the worst communicators ever to stalk creation. Hilarious and infuriating, it was highly entertaining, if an excellent example of what NOT to do. The book also includes useful information about ethical nonmonogamy.
  • I’ve never heckled a book before.
  • Check out the author’s site, which includes writing, quizzes and poly resources, Poly.Land.

23.52 Closing Remarks:

Jealousy Survival Guide by Kitty Chambliss

(source)

[This is the text of the book review from episode 67.]

A couple episodes ago I interviewed the author of this week’s book—Kitty Chambliss. The interview was informative and a thoroughly enjoyable the experience. We covered some information from the book I won’t be discussing in this review (since it’s been covered on the show), as well as other things about polyamorous relationships and unhealthy information we receive about what the ‘ideal’ relationship looks like from the media.

Her book—Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in an Open Relationship is incredible and I’m so happy to be reviewing it. I received it for free, but I’m so glad I did.

Before I get started—there are two books out there with the title Jealousy Survival Guide—so be sure you get the one written by Kitty Chambliss.

There is a boggling amount of information in this book. It’s only a hundred and six pages, but there’s a lot going on: psychology, interpersonal communication and life coaching. It’s impressive how much happened in so little space.

The author is a life coach by profession (her site is lovingwithoutboundaries.com) and it comes through in her writing—her enthusiasm is palpable. There’s a chapter that’s basically about getting your life on track through your relationships. It’s about figuring out your life goals and then seeing if your relationships align or further those goals.

I’m not sure if that’s something most people do—think of their personal goals first and then their relationships and feeding those goals second. We tend to place relationships as above our own personal happiness or worth—women do, anyway. But of course you’re going to be happier and thrive if you figure out what you most want in life—where you want to go—and then only involve yourself with people interested in helping you get there or going on that same path.

There were several moments of, ‘Well, that’s a different way of looking at it, but it’s so obvious now,’ in this. I love books like that. Show me a new way of looking at the world that makes everything clearer, makes everything make more sense.

Though the book is short—it’s not really meant to be read in one sitting. There are exercises made to be practised over a period of time. For starters, there’s a contract you make with yourself. Regular listeners know how much I love my homework and I LOVE contracts. The one you make with yourself is useful for setting your intentions.

I took many, many notes and it’s difficult to decide what to talk about—it’s one of those books—so that should tell you something there.

One thing the author talks about and is important is that jealousy (and I found the technique works for anxiety, as well) is just an emotion. We try to escape discomfort quickly rather than examining it, but it’s not going to kill you.

There’s a technique, where you just have the unwanted emotion, examine it, and deal with it constructively. It’s a whole section on it’s own so I don’t have time to go into it, but that section alone was worthwhile. Jealousy isn’t a huge problem for me—at the moment anyway, but anxiety is. They’re both human emotions that are going to happen at annoying times and you have to cope with them.

This book is written for people in nonmonogamous relationships, but the advice would work for just about anyone trying to conquer out-of-control emotions or get their love life on track with their personal goals.

There are practical communication strategies—it’s not just worksheets for yourself and theory, either.
And there are moments where I felt seen. The author gets it. At one point she says:

I have realized that many of the fears that creep up for me are related to the unknown or to expectations of how I think things should be or predictions that I make.

Oh. Yes. Hello. Are you me?

For dealing with overwhelming emotions there was a concept called Defusion or Cognitive Defusion or Cognitive Deliteralization. It’s:

Observing then questioning our thoughts and detaching from them when possible.

The purpose of defusion is to see thoughts and feelings as what they are, not as what they say to us they are.

You’re not mad someone was late home, you’re scared they were in a wreck, for example.

There were strategies upon strategies for dealing with things. One of the communication techniques was non-violent communication, which Kitty talked about in the interview. It’s pretty involved and could take it’s own book or episode, but the chapter on that was useful and covers the basics.

Then there was this quote, which warmed my Stoic heart:

Be the person you truly want to be in the world. Every day you get to re-invent yourself, and be a better version of yourself. Who do you want to show up as? In terms of the subject of this book, do you want to be a frazzled, crazed, drama-creating, stressed out person who gets in a jealous rage and potentially damages your relationships? Or do you want to come from a compassionate, loving, understanding place, practicing patience with yourself and others, and create inner peace for yourself and a feeling of safety for others?

Kitty Chambliss’ Jealousy Survival Guide is a slim volume, packed with information and worksheets useful for dealing with any toxic emotions (not only jealousy) that could threaten a person’s wellbeing—in or out of polyamorous relationships. Her expertise as a relationship and life coach is apparent—there is much wisdom contained in these pages. Wisdom and practicable knowledge. This is already a go-to resource I recommend to my listeners and anyone looking for advice on how to take control of the emotions that threaten their happiness.

Definitely a 5/5.

Episode 067: Jealousy Survival Guide

[I cannot get this episode to load from libsyn for some reason, but you can download it from this link.]

Episode the sixty-seventh; Wherein the Pageist believes in magic, but only the bad kind and finds a book that helps with life, emotions, the universe and everything. The book reviewed is Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy and Secure in an Open Relationship by Kitty Chambliss.

.45 Intro and Announcements:

  • The Patreon is a year old this month and a big thank you to my longest supporters: BeeTee, Nug, AuntieSocial and Beau Gest.
  • Also a huge welcome and thank you to the newest supporters: Aria, Formidable Femme and Just Erik.
  • One new Facebook like, howdy doo to Jared
  • TWO iTunes reviews–I’m spoilt! Thank you! It helps the show out immensely!
  • Two survey responses, sans comments, which is totally fine. If you’d like to take the survey, which is brief and anonymous and gives me useful demographic information, it is here.

3.27 My Submissive Life:

  • Magic is magic. I have to stop fearing the bad magic since I don’t believe in the good magic.

10.47 Book Review:

(source)

  • This episode’s book is Kitty Chambliss’ outstanding Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in an Open Relationship.
  • Kitty Chambliss’ Jealousy Survival Guide is a slim volume, packed with information and worksheets useful for dealing with any toxic emotions (not only jealousy) that could threaten a person’s wellbeing—in or out of polyamorous relationships. Her expertise as a relationship and life coach is apparent—there is much wisdom contained in these pages. Wisdom and practicable knowledge. This is already a go-to resource I recommend to my listeners and anyone looking for advice on how to take control of the emotions that threaten their happiness.
  • The author was on the show a couple episodes ago and we had a fantastic time talking about jealousy and the various ways it’s viewed in our culture.
  • More resources and information about the author at lovingwithoutboundaries.com

22.33 Closing Remarks:

Scary Stories to Tingle Your Butt by Chuck Tingle

(source)

[This is the text of the book review from episode 66.]

This episode’s book is Scary Stories to Tingle Your Butt: 7 Tales of Gay Terror by Chuck Tingle. I’m not sure where to start, here. If you’re familiar with this author you’ll know why.

I’ve wanted to review something of Chuck Tingle’s for awhile—because I wanted to read something of his and don’t have time to read for fun. So if I want to read something I have to make time to review it..

But the man is prolific. He has… a LOT of erotica. Making a decision on what to read was difficult.

Then I spied this book—he has two collections of scary stories—and I thought, ‘Great!’ Here’s as good of an excuse/opportunity as any.

Now. How to describe what I read.

It’s erotica and comedy and science fiction, at times. Some of it was very thought-provoking.

The author’s characters are sometimes straight (or they think so) but their latent homosexuality manifests itself in unusual ways. Like, as ghosts.

The actual sex is very explicit and gay, but ultimately samey—no matter who or what the protagonist is having gay sex with, the order of the sex tends to be the same, they do this act and then this act and then this act, but I suppose we all have our likes and dislikes in that way. That’s not the point of the pieces, though. Because everything else is different. From each story but also from anything else you’ve ever read. So, you know, who gives a shit.

That’s not to say the explicit, gay sex is boring. There are orgies and facials and blow jobs and anal and double penetration. It’s just often, a similar dance. One, two, three, blowie, one, two three, anal, one, two, three, facial…

A couple of the stories feature Bigfeet. (That’s the plural of Bigfoot.) Because in the world of Chuck Tingle, Bigfeet have been assimilated into human culture and have jobs and things. There are some prejudices, just as you’d expect, but, some people are cool and some people find them super sexy. Ahem.

And, you know, a human man and a male Bigfoot isn’t gay. Ahem.

Unicorns are also a thing. Big, sexy, masculine unicorns. And the ghosts of unicorns that were generals during the Civil War. A lot of this takes place in an alternate universe that I’m kinda into. I don’t know if it has a name. The Tingleverse?

Before you go into one of Chuck’s books you have to know that anything can happen. Except maybe hetero sex.
Body parts get haunted in two stories. A Bigfoot pirate haunts his balls in one and his dead unicorn lover haunts his ass in another. This is accepted as something that can happen in the Tingleverse—there is no, ‘Are you off your meds, where is your data for that?’ Which, I have to say, is a fucking blast.

‘Yup, your testicles are haunted by the most fearsome Bigfoot pirate ghost in all the land.’

‘Well, okay. Now what, doc?’

‘Shrug. Ghosts generally want to finish some unfinished business. Good luck.’

Another type of story Tingle likes to write are about inanimate objects that … are animate. The second story is ‘Vampire Night Bus Pounds My Butt’.

It’s about the Night Bus (there are sentient buses and, you know, that’s cool, but someone says this one is a vampire and the narrator is all, ‘vampires don’t exist!’ Because be serious.)

He has to stay late at work one night, though, and, wouldn’t you know… winds up on the vampire night bus. They have the wild gay sex—that’s not really a spoiler, I don’t think,—but I won’t tell you what else happens.

You might need to read the title of this next one a couple times to parse it. Ready?

‘Angry Man Pounded by the Fear of His Latent Gayness Over a Dinosaur Transitioning into a Unicorn’.

Oh yeah, dinosaurs are still a thing in the Tingleverse, too.

It’s about this ‘straight’ guy who is checking out a total babe of a unicorn and it turns out that unicorn used to be a well-known athletic dinosaur. He runs out to a unicorn strip club to watch a bunch of (male) unicorn strippers—they’re still unicorns so it’s not gay—and has a whole mental breakdown that turns into… something absolutely incredible.

No matter what you think happens—you’re wrong. I’ll say that. If anyone is attempting to copy this man they are failing. I feel confident that his mind is unique in the best ways.

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow… don’t ask ‘but how…’ questions. Another story is ‘The State of California Stalks My Gay Butthole’.

The entire state. Of California. Moves to another state to stalk a dude. You know what? It works in the story. You just have to trust the guy.

Then, there’s a super meta one called ‘Reamed by My Reaction to the Title of This Book’ which is about… I’m not sure how to describe it, but I loved it. It’d make a great Black Mirror episode… Well, an extremely NSFW Black Mirror episode. I can’t tell you anything about it without ruining it, so, sorry, but it was very cinematic. And it addresses the one complaint I have about his writing, which are the spelling errors or typos. There are numerous. But at this point, it’s just a feature. It’s probably part of him publishing so much.

The book has a bonus story ‘Space Raptor Butt Invasion’, which is a genuinely-creepy-for-a-moment space story. Then it’s just gay sex everywhere again. Between a human and a Raptor. A space raptor. It makes sense in the story.

No one can write a Chuck Tingle book but Chuck Tingle.

And the dialogue! Sweet heavens, the dialogue. Everything about the writing is singular.

If you’re looking for anything resembling realism, keep moving. If you are looking for creativity like you’ve perhaps not seen before, well, here you go. I can’t even take off a point for the typos because it sort of became part of the appeal. If you’re into what I’ve described—this is unmissable. If graphic gay sex and… complete unpredictability aren’t your bag then this won’t work for you.

I gave it a 5/5, but it will be highly subjective.

Episode 066: Scary Stories to Tingle Your Butt

Episode the sixty-sixth; wherein the Pageist learns about all the things she’s not interested in, becomes increasingly weary over censorship and catches up on a few weeks of announcements. The book reviewed is Scary Stories to Tingle Your Butt: 7 Tales of Gay Terror by Chuck Tingle.

.44 Intro and Announcements:

  • Thank you to everyone who’s reached out and asked after Walter’s health! It means a lot and we both thank you.
  • Thank you so much to JT, for our first PayPal donation! It brightened my month, let me tell you.
  • Big thank yous to my Patreon supporters and welcome to the newest supporter.
  • The show how now been heard in Zimbabwe.
  • One survey response–thank you! You can take the survey here (it’s anonymous and makes my day).
  • Someone rated the show on iTunes!! WOW! Thank you!
  • The show will be in the next update of the SwingsetFM Podcast Network app for Android (available through GooglePlay)

5.53 My Submissive Life:

16.21 Book Review:

(source)

  • This episode’s book is Scary Stories to Tingle Your Butt: 7 Tales of Gay Terror by Chuck Tingle. It’s… something else. In a genre of its own. A mix of comedy, meta-fiction, erotica, all in a universe where unicorns, dinosaurs and Bigfeet (that’s the plural of Bigfoot) live amongst the rest of us. Oh yeah, there are also sentient buses. Like, the ones you ride around. Anything can happen. Anything. States can stalk people. The state of California, for example. And it makes sense in the context of the story.
  • Hilarious, utterly unique, filthy, with the occasional cutting social commentary, no one else writes like Chuck Tingle.
  • And the dialogue! Everything about it is singular.

29.08 Closing Remarks:

Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms by Sacchi Green

(source)

[This is the text of the book review from episode 63.]

This episode’s book review is of Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms: Erotic Lesbian Fairy Tales edited by Sacchi Green and published by Cleis Press.

I received this book for free, but the words I say to you will be true, as always.

As you’d expect from the title, this is a collection of reimagined and retold fairy tales with a lesbian slant. It’s not just gender-swapped classics, though. In one—the granddaughter of Red Riding Hood has a very interesting encounter and it’s intimated that her grandmother had quite the liking for wolves so our protagonist is part wolf. Well hello, Little Red.

From the Introduction:

Some [authors] adapted traditional tales, and some updated old stories to contemporary times, not merely changing the gender of a character but making the female aspect essential. Some created original plots with a fairy-tale sensibility, while some wrote with merely a subtle aura of fantasy. Their heroines are witches and princesses, brave, resourceful women of all walks of like, and even a troll and a dryad.

The gays aren’t exactly thick on the ground in classic fairy tales, but they were there, according to the Wicked Stepmother from Cinderella. She spills all the tea in a hilarious short piece full of word-play called ‘SWF Seeks FGM’—standing for Single Wicked Female Seeks Fairy Godmother. She goes in search of a Fairy Godmother to help her out with her image and winds up being helped out of her clothing instead.

Though the stories are all written by different people, one thing several authors seem to agree on—getting undressed is annoying. The witches and various magical people tend to magically disrobe. Hey, when you’re in a rush to get to the sexy, you don’t have time for muggle things like untying ribbons.

If I were magical I’d never undress again. Poof! Naked. Poof! Dressed. It’d be great.

The fairy godmother in the story in question is also lushly built and the Wicked Stepmother is all about it. She enjoys every inch. I was talking with the person who runs Red Light Library podcast—he reviews the more out there erotica—and he said lots of people are giving a nod to the BBW (or Big Beautiful Women) fetish by saying the character has big boobs and butt but then doesn’t mention anything else about their physique during sex. Which is inaccurate and cynical on the part of the writer. That’s not what was happening in that story—Wicked and the writer, Allison Wonderland, knew of what they spoke.

There are various body types and skin tones on display in these stories—it’s not all fair damsels with golden tresses and light eyes. There are masculine women and toned bodies, soft, rounded bodies, dark skin and light skin, brown eyes and blue eyes, short cropped hair and flowing locks.

If you have a thing for Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones—there are a few women who pose as men, pull on armour and go into battle for one reason or another.

There are women who know their bodies and how to pleasure themselves and women discovering their capacity for pleasure for the first time. There’s a little something for all of the women-loving-women, basically.

The take on Rumpelstiltskin was particularly clever. There was also a story about a human woman who fell in love with a tree dryad—their relationship spanning a lifetime—that was touching. The sex is vanilla for the most part, though there was some biting in one story that was a-okay. I mean… a person falls in love with and has sex with a tree in one story, which is an actual fetish called dendrophilia. And in ‘Trollwise’ the everyone is into some pain with their sex. So, overall, it’s vanilla, but there are some kinky moments.

I wasn’t familiar with all of the fairy tales referenced, but it didn’t matter—they stood on their own. They were well-written and inventive. If you’re looking for magical bedtime reading, this is a good place to start. If you’re looking for a more pansexual—an equally well-written group of fairy tales with a cast of characters across the gender spectrum, then I recommend Leather Ever After, that book is also uber-kinky. I reviewed that in episode three. The text of that book review is here. Cleis Press has several other anthologies (and is a favourite of Sinclair Sexsmith’s) to choose from, as well.

The next book from this publisher that I’ll be reviewing will be 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM by Tristan Taormino, which will be in November some time.

I would give this a 5/5 if you’re looking for something new and fun.

Episode 063: Witches, Princesses and Women at Arms

Episode the sixty-third; wherein the Pageist has an update about Walter’s diagnosis, announces a new way to support the show, and laments why we can’t have nice things. The book reviewed is Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms edited by Sacchi Green.

.45 Intro and Announcements:

  • Thank you to all of my patrons for making the show possible and welcome to the newest patron, Alice!
  • Two new Facebook follows: howdy doo to Becca and Tawnya.
  • The newest country to hear the show is Angola.
  • Several responses to the survey, with some useful comments. Thank you!
  • Walter’s brain tumour is playing silly buggers and I don’t know how it will effect the schedule for the rest of the month.
  • The show and site finally has PayPal capabilities!!

8.32 My Submissive Life:

  • Everything is disappointing and it’s disappointing. How hard is it to not be a kink-shaming, homophobic, racist, transphobic, etc jerk?
  • Apparently, very, very hard.
  • Nie on impossible.
  • Ugh.

13.31 Book Review:

(source)

  • This episode’s book is Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms: Erotic Lesbian Fairy Tales edited by Sacchi Green and published by Cleis Press.
  • The book is a collection of thirteen stories–some retellings of classic tales, some new stories with an aura of fantasy–with a feminine slant. The titular roles are represented most frequently, but there are also trolls and dryads and even a particular Wicked Stepmother we all know and (possibly) love.
  • If you’re looking for a more pansexual, kinky version of fairy tales, I highly recommend Leather Ever After. The text of the book review is here.
  • The Red Light Library: A sex-positive podcast for reviewing the best/weirdest/worst erotica up for sale. We celebrate kink and shame manipulative hack writers every Wednesday. Their Patreon. Their Twitter.
  • The Sexy Section is from ‘Trollwise’ by Sacchi Green.

22.36 Closing Remarks:

  • Thank you for tuning in!
  • In the next episode I’ll be interviewing show favourite AliceinBondageland about chastity.
  • Support the show and site on Patreon!
  • Like The Pageist on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads, Quora, Medium, and Instagram and join the Fetlife group.
  • You can also subscribe to the website through the email form in the sidebar.
  • Subscribe to the iTunes feed here. You can also rate the show in iTunes, which would be much appreciated!
  • The libsyn feed is here and can be used in your favourite podcast feed reader.
  • All episodes can be heard in an embedded player on this page.

Sweet and Rough: Queer Smut by Sinclair Sexsmith

(source)

[This is the text of the book review from episode 61.]

The book this week is Sinclair Sexsmith’s Sweet and Rough: Queer Smut. I got this as a bonus for supporting Sinclair’s Patreon. So I paid for it…sort of.

I read the first story and immediately went to get a copy to send to my Big Spoon, which is what I call my gentle Dominant type lady friend. Because, like when you spoon with someone you can be the little spoon or the big spoon and she’s the big spoon. Anyway. First story and I put down the Kindle and went ‘Must send copy to Joan.’ Because. Yes. But—read on for why it’s a yes for me and why it may be a yes for you.

The book is a collection of sixteen short pieces—some very short, just a page or two Kindle-wise—focusing on butch/femme lesbian erotic encounters. There’s pretty much always a tinge of Dominance and submission and there’s always a strap on.

This is a collection of stories about packing, which is where a female-bodied person wears a soft or hard dildo whilst going about their day. Some people use it for sex purposes, some for gender purposes, others just for fun—there are many reasons. Sinclair and I did an incredible interview all about packing for the Patreon patrons.

The point is—if you’re into strap ons—or butch/femme hotness, this is the book for you. It’s extremely well-written.

And with that—before I get to the review, I’d like to have a sidebar with you fine individuals.

When I tell people about the show—that I review books about BDSM—the first reaction is that I must only review erotica (it’s like they don’t know non-fiction exists, which makes me sad, because you can actually learn things from books) and the second reaction is, ‘Thank god, because I read a lot of erotica and most of it is so bad.’

Later this week is an interview with Sinclair and we’re going to talk about why that is. People, sex writing doesn’t have to be badly written. You don’t have to suffer for your jollies.

Back to this book, which is A+ on the writing front.

Each story features Sinclair—don’t stop reading—I know having the author as a character sounds like solipsism city, but I’ve been reading their posts on Patreon and their blog and knew them to be…not incredibly self-centred—we talked about how they came to write a bunch of stories featuring a version of themselves in the interview and it was pretty interesting.

It doesn’t ruin the book.

Though the stories all have a butch/femme element and there’s usually power and control being played with, each one has a different setting. Well, I think three take place in a library or a classroom. I’m all on board for that. Kinky literary fucking is always a plus.

In one of those stories, there’s this line:

I think what I often think when I see a gorgeous, leggy girl, reading some intellectual book, in barely enough clothing: if she’s queer, man, all is right with the world.

Indeed. In. Deed.

It’s not just about the sex, though. The author also covers how gender plays into packing and sex. With lines like:

It was daring of her to be so bold with a bj, but I really like that. It forgives me the apology I constantly carry for being a cock-identified lesbian-feminist queer-dyke. A butch who fetishizes gender dynamics and craves gendered play in the bedroom—if she wants my cock so bad she’s willing to take it, I know it’s okay that I want it that bad, too.

Yes, slip some intellectual into my sexy, baby. Erotica doesn’t have to be about perfect people who are always confident and the ultimate lovers—they can be human. They can be messy and complicated. I love it.

In some of the stories the kink is blatant with graphic flogging or spanking. So, you know, thank you, for that. In others, the power dynamic is there, but played with more subtly. There’re also insightful descriptions of the psychology behind certain types of play. Like:

She pulls against me, not to get away, but to heighten sensation. Struggling has such varying degrees. She doesn’t want out, she wants more.

Yes. That is true.

Reading the author’s descriptions of a woman’s body during passionate sex—it’s obvious Sinclair greatly appreciates the female form and pays close attention to every sinew, muscle and breath. They’re a veritable connoisseur of feminine pleasure—clearly enjoying giving it and observing the results of their ministrations.

There are bjs, vaginal and anal and all sorts of goodness in this set of stories. You can purchase it from Amazon or the publisher’s site, or get it like I did by supporting Sinclair’s Patreon.

5/5 if you’re into the sort of things I’ve described in this review.

Episode 61: Sweet and Rough

Episode the sixty-first; wherein the Pageist marvels at the wonders of hormones and 3D model clitorises. The book reviewed is Sweet and Rough: Queer Smut by Sinclair Sexsmith.

.44 Intro and Announcements:

  • Thank you to all of my patrons–you make the show happen! Mwah!
  • Big, huge hugs to the newest supporter, Dedria!
  • Two new Facebook likes, from Kitty and E, welcome to the group!
  • The show is now in Bahrain, Belarus and Ecuador.
  • Someone took the survey and had very kind things to say–if you’d like to fill in the survey, the link is here.
  • If you haven’t checked out the BDSM community The Cage–it’s growing. Give it a look.

4.09 My Submissive Life:

  • My 3D model of a clitoris from Lumberjill a.k.a. Shoulda Wooda arrived and I love it! Check out the Etsy shop here. See more of his work on his Instagram. Below are photos of mine.

A post shared by Paige La Marchand (@thepageist) on

  • For an incredibly informative slide show on how genitals are formed in the womb click this link. Thank you to Sinclair Sexsmith for that link!

9.48 Book Review:

  • (source)

    This episode’s book is Sweet and Rough: Queer Smut by Sinclair Sexsmith, which is a collection of short, very sexy, very well-written pieces of erotic fiction featuring butch/femme relations and packing scenarios.

  • ‘Packing’ is when a female-bodied person wears a dildo–either soft or hard–in a harness as they go about their day. This collection explores gender and celebrates the female form.
  • Sinclair did a bonus interview for my Patreon subscribers about packing–what it is, why people are into it and so forth. It’s available here.
  • Sinclair’s Patreon is here. Their blog is sugarbutch.net and has some great writing. Fiction and non-fiction.
  • You can get the book from here. Or by supporting Sinclair’s Patreon.

16.35 Sexy Section:

  • The section this episode is about a strap on blow job. It’s the short, short piece from this week’s book ‘Her Mouth on My Cock’.

19.45 Closing Remarks:

  • Thank you for tuning in!
  • In the next episode I’ll be interviewing the author of today’s book, Sinclair Sexsmith!
  • Support the show and site on Patreon!
  • Like The Pageist on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads, Quora, Medium, and Instagram and join the Fetlife group.
  • You can also subscribe to the website through the email form in the sidebar.
  • Subscribe to the iTunes feed here. You can also rate the show in iTunes, which would be much appreciated!
  • The libsyn feed is here and can be used in your favourite podcast feed reader.
  • All episodes can be heard in an embedded player on this page.

Bonjour Tristesse and A Certain Smile by Francoise Sagan

 

This is the text of the book reviews from episode fifty-eight.

This episode’s book reviews are two novels by Francoise Sagan. Bonjour Tristesse and A Certain Smile. The versions I read were both in one edition by Penguin Modern Classics, translated by Heather Lloyd in 2013. These are the unexpurgated versions of the books. Certain passages had been cut when initially issued in the fifties, though reading it now I couldn’t figure out which ones they’d be without the help of the notes in the book. It’s not exactly scandalous.

I’ll start with Bonjour Tristesse. Which means ‘Hello Sadness’ in French. This is the opening paragraph.

This strange new feeling of mine, obsessing me by its sweet languor, is such that I am reluctant to dignify it with the fine, solemn name of ‘sadness’. It is a feeling so self-indulgent and complete in itself that I am almost ashamed of it, whereas I had always looked upon sadness as being a worthy emotion. Before, I did not know what sadness was, though I knew what it was to be languorous, to have regrets and, more rarely, to feel remorse. Today it is as if I am enfolded in some silken thing, soft and enervating, that sets me apart from others.

It’s about a carefree young woman, Cecile, and her equally carefree widower father, Raymond. They’re spending the summer on the Riviera with her father’s girlfriend-ish sort of person, Elsa, and an old friend arrives. Anne. Anne is the Dominant who would straighten out their lives if they’d let her. Neither of them are very responsible human beings.

This is how the narrator protagonist describes her very early on:

Anne was a fine person. To my mind there was nothing mean-spirited about her. She would guide me, she would take responsibility for my life, in every circumstance she would show me which path to follow.

A Dominant by any other name would still run your life.

Then there’s this:

‘My poor little girl,’ Anne’s voice went on quietly. ‘My poor little Cecile. It’s my fault in a way. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so strict. Do you believe me when I say that I didn’t wish to cause you distress?’

She was gently stroking my hair and the back of my neck. I didn’t move. I had the same impression as I did when, on the beach, the sand disappeared from beneath my feet, sucked away by a receding wave. A longing for defeat and gentleness had overcome me and no other feeling, not anger, not desire, had ever swept me up as this one did. I wanted to abandon the play-acting, to entrust my life to her, to put myself in her hands for the rest of my days. I had never before experienced such an intense and overwhelming sense of helplessness. I closed my eyes. It seemed to me as if my heart were ceasing to beat.

Cecile is supposed to be studying for exams and she’s only seventeen but spending time with an older boy and that’s only going to get her into trouble with a capital baby.

Of course, as she’s so different from what they’re accustomed to, they’re both attracted to her—she offers a sort of stability and structure that’s foreign and therefore intriguing.

But she’s also, ultimately, radically different from who either the girl or her father is on a fundamental level.

Cecile, the little manipulative minx she is, concocts a plan to break up her father and this woman—though she also still wants her in her life (she’s quite indecisive) by getting the guy she likes, Cyril, to pretend to be romancing Elsa, the woman her father threw over for Anne. Raymond is the sort of man who’ll be wildly jealous and will cheat with Elsa, thereby ruining the prospective marriage with Anne.

It’s very French.

Sagan published this when she was eighteen, which is remarkable for multiple reasons—one of which is the self-awareness. It was originally published in 1954.

This book came up as recommended when I was looking at Georges Bataille books and the blurb said, ‘Funny, immoral and thoroughly French.’ I thought, ‘Check, check and yes, please!’

Both books are amusing in a dry sort of way, and they are very French. ‘Immorality’ is, however, subjective. I kept waiting for the immorality to kick off and… it turned out to be people having extra-marital affairs. Which I suppose was immoral in the mid-50s, but I thought was par for the course in France.

Really, the characters in both novels could have benefited greatly from some ethical non-monogamy workshops, as the woman in the committed couple and the ‘other woman’ always have a sympathetic relationship. I kept hoping they’d get it together and be a happy menage.

It’s like when you’re watching a film from the 80s and think, ‘All of this would be over in five minutes if even one person had a mobile phone. Or the internet.’

On to the second book.

A Certain Smile was published in 1956 when Sagan was twenty. It’s similarly self-aware and angsty. But the first novel’s protagonist was quite flighty and carefree and the second one was more cynical. They seemed to be polar opposites.

The general plot is young woman-has-affair-with-married-man-while-admiring-his-wife. The plot is the affair—from start to end. This time the ‘other woman’ is a university student, Dominique—the author would have been twenty when the novel was published. It’s written from the point of view of the student.

Something the author writes about in A Certain Smile on more than one occasion is what it’s like not being allowed to be yourself—having to perform a version of yourself. Something those of us with low affect can identify with. Here’s an example, she’s talking about going to visit the man she’s having an affair with:

My visit to her depressed me. I went to Luc’s without much enthusiasm and even with some trepidation: I was going to have to chat, be friendly and project an image of myself to them. I would have preferred to have lunch on my own, twirl a jar of mustard round between my fingers, and be vague, vague, completely vague.

It’s interesting that in both books the young, female protagonist greatly admires an older, more sophisticated woman and likes being doted on by that woman, but also does things that makes that woman’s life difficult. Not intentionally—not, ‘I’m going to wreck this woman’s life because I like her,’ but, ‘Boy, I really like so-and-so; she’s great! It’s too bad this other thing I want means I have to make her miserable.’

Stop wrecking these women’s lives over men. Screw the men. They don’t care about you! The women do! The women think you’re great!

Here’s one of the passages from A Certain Smile that was swoon-worthy for me. Francoise is the wife.

Francoise took me into her bedroom to try on one of her coats, which was more stylish than mine. She got me to put on one or two, made me turn round, stood the collars up. At one moment, while doing so, she held my face between the two lapels of the collar and I thought, stifling the same laughter: ‘I’m at her mercy. Perhaps she is going to suffocate me or bite me.’ But she merely smiled.

‘You’re drowning a bit in this.’

‘That’s true,’ I said, not thinking of the coat.

‘I really must see you when you come back.’

‘That’s it,’ I thought. ‘Is she going to ask me to stop seeing Luc? Will I be able to?’ And the answer came to me straight away: ‘No. I couldn’t do it.’

‘Because I’ve decided to take you in hand and dress you suitably and introduce you to things that are more fun than those students and libraries.’

‘Oh, goodness,’ I thought, ‘this is not the moment, it’s not the moment to be saying that to me.’

‘Should I not?’ She went on, in response to my silence. ‘I rather felt I had a daughter in you.’ (She laughed as she said that, but in a kindly way.) ‘If that daughter is going to be rebellious and purely interested in intellectual things…’

‘You are too kind,’ I said, stressing the word ‘too’. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

‘Just let yourself be done to,’ she said, laughing again.

Neither book was what you’d call explicit. As it was recommended for people who enjoyed Georges Bataille I was expecting a sadomasochistic, or as least sexually explicit, good time.

Alas, these are more delicate and poetic, which is nice some times.

Here are two passages from Bonjour Tristesse.

And then began love’s merry dance, where fear goes hand in hand with desire and where, too, there is tenderness and rage and then that brutal hurt giving way to the triumph of pleasure. With Cyril’s gentleness playing its part, I had the good fortune to discover it that day.

 

My body responded to him, became fully itself and blossomed when close to his. I kissed him passionately, I wanted to hurt him, to leave my mark on him so that he would not be able to forget me for one instant that evening and would dream of me that night. For the night would be endless without him, without him close to me, without his lover’s skill, his sudden passion and his long caresses.

I do recommend the edition I read—the Penguin Modern Classics Edition—the particular translation and with both novels, as they compliment one another beautifully and highlight the parallels as well as differences between the protagonists and stories.

If you’d like to really experience the mercurial moods of a teenage girl, these are the books for you—they’re exceedingly well-written—Sagan is far more eloquent than many authors twice her age—but they were an accurate representation of a certain period of my life that I do not miss.

I could also see how reading about a person who doesn’t seem to know her own mind could feel like an experiment in self-torture. So, pick these up accordingly.

I give both books 4/5.

Episode 058: Two Novels by Francoise Sagan

Episode the fifty-eighth; Wherein the Pageist returns from an unplanned break with a revolutionary idea about what to do with all the unsolicited peen going around and remembers that morality is highly subjective. The books reviewed this episode are Bonjour Tristesse and A Certain Smile by Francoise Sagan.

Intro and Announcements:

  • Thank you, everyone for the kind words regarding Walter’s brain tumour. His treatment is going well.
  • Especially thank you to Naiia.
  • Thank you to the Patreon patrons who stuck with me even though I didn’t post anything last month and didn’t get rewards out until the end of the month. You’re all rock stars.
  • Hello and welcome to the show’s newest supporters, ItGoesto11, who also sent one of the loveliest notes, and M and Keith.
  • Huge thank yous to Beau Gest for the Kindle paperwhite and the permission to return it since it was the second one–the return will fund most of a new microphone, which will be enormously helpful. Also in that shipment was a copy of Jay Wiseman’s SM 101, which I’m very much looking forward to.
  • New Facebook likes include Kasia and Eleanor.
  • New countries include Slovenia, Armenia, Uganda and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
  • There were six survey responses! Oh boy! If you’d like to respond to the survey (it is quick and anonymous), you may do so here.
  • Later this month I’ll be interviewing Mike Merrill, the publicly traded individual. His website is KMikeyM.com.

My Submissive Life:

  • It feels like a million years ago, but it was episode 56 where I talked about Sarah Benincasa.
  • This is her Instagram. This is the photo that kicked off the entire WikiDicks conversation.

Book Reviews:

Bonjour Tristesse and A Certain Smile book cover

(source)

  • This episode’s books are two novels by Francoise Sagan, both of which were in one volume by Penguin Modern Classics. The first is Bonjour Tristesse, which is about a mercurial young woman who plots to break up her widower father from his new relationship, even though she’s quite taken with the woman.
  • The second was A Certain Smile, which follows the affair from start to finish between a young woman and older man, while the younger woman is quite fond of the wife of the man she’s involved with.
  • Both were delicate, well-written, must less explicit than what I usually review on the show, explorations of the inner world of a young woman. The first book was published when the author was eighteen (in 1954), the second when the author was twenty (in 1956). Both are a reminder that what is considered immoral and scandalous at one time hardly raises an eyebrow in another.

Closing Remarks:

  • Thank you for tuning in!
  • In the next episode I’ll be interviewing … someone. A few options are possible.
  • Support the show and site on Patreon!
  • Like The Pageist on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads, Quora, Medium, and Instagram and join the Fetlife group.
  • You can also subscribe to the website through the email form in the sidebar.
  • Subscribe to the iTunes feed here. You can also rate the show in iTunes, which would be much appreciated!
  • The libsyn feed is here and can be used in your favourite podcast feed reader.
  • All episodes can be heard in an embedded player on this page.

Episode 056: Brain Tumours and Real Artists

Episode the fifty-sixth; Wherein the Pageist has a big, scary announcement and offers up two very brief book reviews.

.45 Intro and Announcements:

  • Listeners in new countries–the Bahamas, Hungary and Lithuania.
  • Swingset.fm is a swanky bunch of shows–check it out. Eventually I’ll be over there, technology cooperating.
  • Thank you to my Patreon supporters for making this episode possible!

2.53 My Submissive Life:

  • My husband has been diagnosed with a brain tumour. Treatment begins on Monday, but the show may be a bit different (more interviews and fiction reviews) for a bit.
  • Thank the heavens for the NHS.

6.50 Book Review:

In this episode, two very short book reviews:
Real Artists Have Day Jobs Sara Benincasa

11.04 Closing Remarks:

  • Thank you for tuning in!
  • In the next episode I’ll be reviewing either a fiction title or interviewing Cooper S. Beckett. Time will tell.
  • Support the show and site on Patreon!
  • Like The Pageist on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads, Quora, Medium, and Instagram and join the Fetlife group.
  • You can also subscribe to the website through the email form in the sidebar.
  • Subscribe to the iTunes feed here. You can also rate the show in iTunes, which would be much appreciated!
  • The libsyn feed is here and can be used in your favourite podcast feed reader.
  • All episodes can be heard in an embedded player on this page.

Small Favors Deluxe Hardcover Edition by Colleen Coover

Small Favors deluxe hardback cover

The hardback cover. (source)

[This is the text of the book review from episode 55.]

This episode’s review is of Small Favors by Colleen Coover, published by Limerence Press.

Unlike some of the books I review I did not receive this one for free—I’ve purchased this book many times, in fact.

First, I bought each of the separate comic issues when they were released—there were eight of them between 2000 and 2003.

Then both of the collected volumes, which, between the two of them, brought together issues one through seven.

The edition I’m reviewing today is the hardcover deluxe version that was just released in May.

It collects all eight issues—the final issue is in colour—as well as sketches, pin ups, other behind the scenes bits and pieces and a new short story.

First, book as object. Since it’s billed as a deluxe edition.

It’s quite lovely—there’s no book cover to flap around and get in your way, the cover image and title are printed on the front. It’s rather classy.

The pages are sewn in so it’s solid and the headband (that cloth bit that sticks up at the top of the spine of some books) has gold glittery thread in it, which is a nice touch.

Small favors glittery headband

The end papers are a heavy weight colour I’m not going to describe because it’s not gold or beige and whatever I say will be wrong. It’s in the lightish yellow range.

Small Favors end papers

It’s whatever colour you call this.

About the only thing missing is a sewn-in bookmark, but you don’t really need it, as it’s a comic and it took around an hour and a half to read the entire book. I could have definitely spent more time over certain pages, though.

Oh yes, and it smells good. Because it’s a nice weight paper with lots of ink due to it being a comic.

Now, on to content.

Issue one of Small Favours is about Annie, who is fantasising about her cute girl neighbour. She’s having quite the vigorous wank, totally nude in the back garden, when suddenly, she’s absorbed by the ground and lands in some nether-realm where a stately, Queenly type figure and her apprentice (who are both teeny, tiny) paralyse her with magic.

These two beings represent her conscience. They stand on her naked chest and inform Annie that at the age of twenty-one she’s already used her life-time allotment of masturbation. To prove how salacious the girl is, she produces polaroids of her fiddling with herself in all sorts of situations.

Annie protests saying, ‘So I masturbate a little’

Queenly exclaims: ‘A little?! These were all taken on the same day!’

Small favors proof

They tell her she’s simply got to behave herself from now on and in order to facilitate this, she’s been assigned this pixie-like creature named Nibbil. Nibbil has big blonde pigtails and appears to be wearing a black latex bikini with over the elbow matching latex gloves.

Her job will be to ensure Annie acts like a proper young lady from now on.

While the Queen and her assistant—whose name is Janus and I’ll get back to her—are blathering on about her moral turpitude or whatever, Nibbil has an eye-full of those polaroids of Annie diddling herself hither and yon.

The Queen and Janus go off to magically bond Nibbil and Annie together forevermore and our little pixie girl has discovered she’s utterly turned on by those photos.

Whatever is a tiny pixie girl to do?

Sometimes things are so large we don’t see them. Annie is just so big she doesn’t notice her there anymore—she thinks she’s alone. She’s super turned on, though, and sees a protrusion (hint: it’s Annie’s nipple) and hops on.

She’s having a grand ol’ time, then notices that she’s being watched and introduces herself.

‘Ummm, Hi, Annie! My name’s Nibbil! Gosh! I hope you don’t mind me fucking myself on your nipple!’

‘No. I like this. I like dirty girls.’

Having been given permission, Nibbil resumes her previous endeavours, now with the onomatopoeia of ‘boing boing boing boing’ and an expression of utter glee on her little face.

Small Favors dirty girls

This entire comic is very funny. I laughed out loud many times.

Then, Annie is all turned on, but she can’t move—she’s immobilised by magic still—so she asks Nibbil to help her out.

And she does—what a sweetie.

Small Favors Nibbil Helps Annie

Nibbil ‘helping’ out.

Once they’re both thoroughly satisfied, the Queen and Janus return to announce the women are irrevocably bonded. Nibbil will be keeping Annie in line in perpetuity.

No, they didn’t see what happened.

The takeaway is Nibbil is magic and very sweet, if not the brightest crayon in the box.

Throughout the following issues (which become chapters in the deluxe edition) we learn that Nibbil can grow to human size. So they take turns wielding the strap on. They’re switches in pretty much every way.

Sometimes Nibbil stays small and they play with that in all sorts of ways.

There’s a poly element in that our pixie friend encourages Annie to approach the hot neighbour she was lusting over when they were first introduced and thoroughly enjoys Annie’s enjoyment.

They also meet another girl at one point and have some three-way fun.

Small Favors Threeway

Like so.

Then there’s an orgy involving five people—all women. There are only vulva-having ladies in this book.

Small Favors lesbian orgy

Why isn’t this a live-action film yet?

At one point, Janus, the Queen’s assistant, is sent to check up on Nibbil and Annie.

I love Janus.

Janus wears glasses and a prim dress and has her hair in a bun and is usually carrying books—the titles of which reflect her inner thoughts. Like ‘The Clean Human Being’ and ‘Humility’

Her goal is to please the Queen and receive her approval and admiration. This is her kink.

Small Favors Janus is the best

This is what Janus thinks will happen when she finds the girls debauching one another.

As she’s walking up the drive to do the check in, she grouses,

small favors janus

That being at the top is Bean (not my Bean–she’s an actual person.)

Meanwhile, inside the house, Annie is going down on Nibbil, who suddenly starts crying and then this conversation happens:

Annie says: Oh no! I’m sorry! I thought you liked it when I licked you there! Oh no!

And Nibbil says:

small favors colleen coover nummy titties

So they’re running around the house like lunatics trying to clean everything up so Nibbil won’t get into trouble.
And something really good happens, but I’m not going to tell you what because spoilers.

Part of why I have such affection for Small Favors is nostalgia—it was released when I was a young-ish lesbian. And I hadn’t seen anything like it—I still haven’t.

It’s as graphic as it’s possible to be.

I gave a copy of the first collection to my friend Bean for her birthday one year and we were walking in public when she flipped through it and went, ‘Whoa, that’s graphic, I need to put this is my bag, hold up.’

It’s pretty much cartoon labia on nearly every page.

small favors annie masturbate

So

small favors nibbil masturbating

Many

small favors toys

Labia.

But it’s also very sweet and funny.

It’s also quite kinky! I didn’t realise. Because I was a kinky person but didn’t know it back then—I just thought it was the normal way to be—but looking at it now a vanilla person might be annoyed by all the spankings and bondage and such.

There’s even a story called ‘How to Spank Girls’.

Small Favors spankings

Which includes one of my all-time favourite comic panels, ever.

Note to my younger self: This isn’t the sort of thing vanilla people find normal. Find a clue, your life will be better for it.

I mean, in the very opening—Annie is fantasising about attaching her cute neighbour to the washing line with clothes pins by the nipples so she can do other naughty things to her. Sure. Everyone thinks about that.

Small Favors clothes pins on nipples

Really.

At the same time—there’s so much explicit consent. There’s a lot of people checking in or affirming their desire to do things. Which is definitely not something you see in BDSM porn—or any porn, really. People usually just go with the fantasy of power. I give Coover much credit for that.

So, it’s super fun and the physical version is high quality and I’m very happy. The end.

5/5

Episode 055: Small Favors

Episode the fifty-fifth; Wherein the Pageist expresses gratitude for community, friends and the best listeners in the world. The book reviewed is Small Favors: the definitive girly porno collection by Colleen Coover.

.45 Intro and Announcements:

  • The show has a new Patreon supporter! Effusive thanks to Dave!

1.48 My Submissive Life:

10.15 Book Review:

Small Favors deluxe hardback cover

The hardback cover. (source)

  • This episode’s book is Small Favors: the definitive girly porno collection by Colleen Coover.
    It collects the full run of the popular (very) explicit lesbian comic that ran from 2000-2003, including all seven of the black and white issues and the previously uncollected eighth colour issue. Also included is a new short story, pin-ups, sketches and other bits and bobs.
    It’s kinky and fun-loving (and hilarious). I had forgotten how funny.
    The premise is that Annie has used her lifetime allotment of masturbation by the age of twenty-one and the adorable Nibbil has been sent from another realm to make sure she behaves herself forevermore. They are irrevocably bonded through magic and, well, Nibbil is a naughty little someone herself.
    They thoroughly enjoy their bond (and bondage). Though it doesn’t remain just the two of them for long, as Nibbil understands compersion well and encourages Annie to explore whatever and whomever she’d like. Her cute neighbour, for example.
    This is such a fun time while demonstrating healthy kink and that lesbians can get down with the best of them.
  • Check out the artist’s website for more information about the author and her work: ColleenCoover.net

 

20.48 Closing Remarks:

Approaching the Swingularity by Cooper S. Beckett

(source)

[This is the text of the book review from episode 54, which includes a reading of one of the steamy scenes.]

This episode’s book review is Approaching the Swingularity: Tales of Swinging and Polyamory in Paradise by Cooper S. Beckett.

I received this book for free and Coop runs swingset.fm, but I auditioned to read the part of Paige in the audio version of this and didn’t get the part. So, fuck this guy. This book is a piece of shit.

I’m kidding. Cooper is the sort of author who would want an honest review anyway and he can take criticism. With that as a preface, I don’t have a great deal of negative to say except, like in A Life Less Monogamous, the first book in the series, everyone appears to be drinking, all the time.

But I’ll get to that in a minute.

I was going to review this on the show long before there was any plan to join the network, because I loved the characters of Paige and Bruce from A Life Less Monogamous, which I reviewed in episode 5.

To recap that book—Ryan and Jennifer are a youngish couple in a lacklustre, monogamous marriage. They meet vibrant, older couple Bruce and Paige and zoom into swinging. And they all drink a whole bunch and almost never seem to get drunk unless they need to be for the plot.

That was one of my quibbles with the last book. I said you shouldn’t read that one if you struggle with alcohol because I don’t usually have a problem saying no and I wanted a drink.

This book takes place some time after that one—not years, but it doesn’t pick up the next day, either—and all four of them have gone off to a swingers’ resort in Mexico, Xanadu X, along with one hundred and eleven other couples.

That’s a lot of genitals to possibly interact with.

That’s also many characters to juggle. Which the author does admirably.

The book is broken down by day—the holiday lasts a week—then, within each day there are chapters, each are told from the point of view of various characters.

Some chapters are by Ryan, Jennifer (who now goes by Jenn), Bruce and Paige, then we have new people, including the person who has run the get away for ten years, Raymond and whose partner has recently left him. He’s not exactly in an orgy-mood, as you can imagine, but has to put on his party face for the benefit of the other attendees. There are chapters by Alejandra and Crista, Xanadu’s first lesbian couple and all I have to say is Coop seriously knows some lesbians, because he’s nailed what lady relationships are like.

Crista also has a reactive libido, rather than proactive, meaning that it’s a special flower that needs careful nurturing. He uses the book to educate on many subjects including things like reactive vs proactive sex drives, but also things pertaining to poly and swinging and has his characters demonstrate safer sex and kink negotiations as well as STI and STD conversations. And the conversations come across as quite natural. It’s obvious this was written by a person who actually does these things.

In terms of ‘doing these things’—people did a lot of things. There were many sexual activities experienced including a gang bang and an orgy and pegging and a lesbian foursome and a standing sixty-nine and… just… so many things.

But the book isn’t just one scene of debauchery after another—each of the characters are going through their own woes because obviously your week-long orgy isn’t going to happen when life is going perfectly, is it? At first I was thinking, ‘Jeez, is anyone’s life going well?’ but then I realised that of course life is going to happen to you when you just want to get your junk out on a Mexican beach.

There are some profound moments and some heart-wrenching ones, as well.

There were a few laugh-out-loud moments, too. Someone gets stung by a jellyfish at one point and a Mr Helpful type comes running up the beach to pee on the poor bastard in a scene that had me cackling… That’s an urban legend, by the way. Don’t pee on someone who’s been stung by a jellyfish. It doesn’t help. No one’s in the mood for watersports just then.

The people narrating the story aren’t the only ones around, either. The author isn’t enough of a masochist to attempt to introduce us to all one hundred seven other couples, but some other people are regular players.

There’s Strom and Kitten—the podcasters—who start out obnoxious and … well. They’re fun.

Then there’s Will and Madison. We’ve all met a Will. He’s that guy you want to shoot into the sun. We’ve also all met a Madison. Where you think, ‘Why, girl? Why him?’

There’s James and Debra—the much older couple who’ve been to every Xanadu since its inception. I loved James and Debra. They appeared to be the only couple who weren’t having some sort of relationship or personal crisis. That reminds me—fuck you, Coop. I know you’re reading this.

Xanadu had its first triad—in the form of a gay guy, bi guy and straight woman—Rory, Terrence and Marley.

And finally, perhaps my favourite character, Lydia. The person Ryan has his first thuper kinky experience with. (It’s the steamy scene I chose to read at the end of the episode.)

There were a few others who appeared by name, but those were the big ones—the ones with plotlines.

As a writer—respect to juggling all of that. I was mentally keeping up with how all of the 500 plotlines were going at any one point and whether they would or would not be resolved and how believable those resolutions would be.
Well-fucking-done, man. I’ve been going over various subplots in the days after finishing it and just wind up being impressed all over again.

Ryan is curious about exploring his bisexuality and his thoughts on this were really well expressed, as were Crista’s experiences as someone with a less-than-naturally-enthusiastic sex drive.

We learn more about Bruce and Paige—who, in the first book—seem to have this whole Swinging Open Poly thing down. We learn no one is perfect and people are just trying to make it work as best they can. And that even people who know swinging or poly is right for them can still have fears and doubts.

We also get to see how the foursome’s relationships have grown and changed in the time between books. It made me happy. That’s all I’m going to say. Dear god, a lot happened in this book. Not until writing this did I realise just how much. It didn’t feel like a Russian novel.

I highlighted lots of bits and pieces, but I really liked this one:

‘when does time ever truly allow for our desires in full? Instead, it keeps us humble, parceling out moments, making them precious.’

Yeah well, time’s a jerk. I desire more time to read and write. So, you know. Who wants to be humble.

Quibbles:

I read the final, pre-editorial draft, so there were more than the usual typos, but because I didn’t read the final draft I’m going to give Coop and his editor the benefit of the doubt—they both probably caught a lot. I’m just covering my bee-hind with this note.

As mentioned before, everyone drinks, all the time. Which may simply reflect the swingers’ resort culture, but, again, if you struggle with that sort of thing—wave off, wave off. I really want an espresso martini, though, and I can’t have either of those things without regretting my entire life.

That’s it. Which is a fairly short list of quibbles.

Overall: The author’s writing improves with each book—this is his best yet. Character, pacing and plot are all on point. This one is sexy, hilarious and full of heart and you might learn a few things, too. You don’t have to start with A Life Less Monogamous, but you might as well, as it’s a good one, as well.

5/5

Episode 054: Approaching the Swingularity

Episode the fifty-fourth; Wherein the Pageist gets another year older, makes her case for why kink is indeed an orientation for some people, explains what nonsexual kink is about and is finally well enough to read the sexy section from the last Antoniou book reviewed a hundred years ago. The book reviewed is Approaching the Swingularity: Tales of Swinging and Polyamory in Paradise by Cooper S. Beckett.

.44 Intro and Announcements:

  • TWO new Patrons! Welcome, welcome to Gray and James and bless your little cotton socks! You can support the show on Patreon by going to patreon.com/thepageist
  • My birthday post, with my wishlist and free ways to support the site and podcast.
  • Very very soon I’ll be firmly ensconced on lifeontheswingset.com. Oh boy!
  • One new Facebook like.

3.13 My Submissive Life:

18.55 Book Review:

(source)

  • This episode’s book is Approaching the Swingularity: Tales of Swinging and Polyamory in Paradise by Cooper S. Beckett.
    It’s the sequel to A Life Less Monogamous, which I reviewed in episode 5, and this picks up the stories of the two main couples in that novel Ryan and Jennifer (now Jenn) and Bruce and Paige, as they go to a Swingers’ resort in Mexico for a week.
    The novel is broken up into the days of the week-long holiday, with each chapter being told from the point of view of a core group of guests. The four mentioned previously and new characters–each dealing with their own relationship or professional struggles.
    A variety of genders, play styles and orientations are presented intelligently and compassionately and the author’s writing ability continues to improve with each book. This one was a sexy, surprising treat.
  • Coop was on the show for an interview in episode 8.
  • I also reviewed the author’s collection of autobiographical essays: My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging and Polyamory in episode 30.
  • You can follow Coop on Twitter: @CooperSBeckett
  • He’s the host of the podcast Life on the Swingset amongst others, which can be found on his website CooperSBeckett.com.

29.26 Sexy Segment One:

  • From Approaching the Swingularity. There were so many to choose from it was difficult. I opted for a scene involving kink. Because why not.

42.20 Sexy Segment Two:

  • From The Reunion, which I reviewed in episode 47 but was coughing far too much to even attempt to read erotica. This scene was between a character from a previous book and the ubiquitous Chris Parker and Lordy. Just… Lordy. If rough anal does it for you, then here you go.

49.36 Closing Remarks:

  • Thank you for tuning in!
  • In the next episode I’ll be reviewing Small Favors: Definitive Girl Porno Collection by Colleen Coover
  • Support the show and site on Patreon!
  • Like The Pageist on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads, Quora, Medium, and Instagram and join the Fetlife group.
  • You can also subscribe to the website through the email form in the sidebar.
  • Subscribe to the iTunes feed here. You can also rate the show in iTunes, which would be much appreciated!
  • The libsyn feed is here and can be used in your favourite podcast feed reader.
  • All episodes can be heard in an embedded player on this page.

Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous

Decoding Your Kink book cover

(source)

{This is the text of the book review from episode 52.}

This episode’s book review is Decoding Your Kink: Guide to Explore, Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires by Galen Fous. Whose name I hope I am pronouncing correctly.

I received this book for free, but that has never stopped me from being honest about what I read. Episode 31 or 48 should be proof enough of that.

The author puts right out there that this book is from the point of view of cisgender, heterosexual male in the dominant role. It was still inclusive and recognised the existence of an array of other people—including asexuals. So, points for that.

He recognises that people do kink for a variety of reasons, saying:

No matter how dark or perverse, or light and spiritual you seek to be, there are new maps being created and older ones resurrected, that offer the opportunity to express your authentic sexual desire in a healthy, conscious manner.

Fous starts the book talking about his personal journey to becoming comfortable with his kinky side—and it wasn’t an easy one—then talks about how this influenced his decision to help other people become comfortable with who they are. He says:

Exploring our personal Eros fully, discovering all that has been hidden in the shadows all these years, can lead to a state of greater self awareness and confidence. Confronting and resolving old shame and guilt can lead to psychological breakthroughs personally.

Which is absolutely true—it’s why I started doing what I do. When you suppress and deny a core part of yourself it negatively impacts everything in your life. There is nothing more central to a human than how they relate to other humans intimately—whether that intimacy is expressed sexually, emotionally, mentally or any other way. Well, except perhaps how a person relates to themselves, I suppose.

When a society, government or culture tries to define the acceptable way for people to relate to themselves and one another that society, government or culture are attempting to control what it means to be human.

All a person has to do is get up in the morning—you’re human. You’re you. Complete as you are. Ta da!

The phrase the author uses for what we think of as typical sex is ‘friction sex’. Which I really, really liked. Because we have mindfucks, right? So why can’t we have mind sex? I’ve had conversations with people where you’re right on the same page—it’s exhilarating.

There could be emotional sex, mental sex, what Erica Jong would call the zipless fuck—there are all sorts of profound ways to merge with another person, which is what kink is all about. Finding unconventional ways to connect with someone.

The phrase he uses at one point is ‘straight-up friction sex’. I can hear some of my friends now with that one.

‘I really need some straight-up friction sex right now. So much friction my hair is standing straight up and entire florist shops full of balloons float towards me.’

I want this phrase to make its way into common parlance so I can say, ‘I’m not really into friction sex. Other types—absolutely. Not so much with the rubbing.’

Something the author has created—or conceptualised—is the Personal Erotic Myth. It’s all the things that set your brain (or other parts) tingling. Props, power play, costumes, atmosphere, phrases, all that. The bag of tricks your brain opens up when it’s time to get intimate with someone else or yourself. I’m going to talk more about this later, but wanted to introduce it here, because it’s a big part of his philosophy.

Later in the book the author discusses the physical consequences of holding down or holding in the emotional responses we’ve been taught are wrong. So, if you’ve been told you’re not supposed to express your emotions by your family and society, you’ll close yourself off emotionally, but also physically—you’ll hold yourself more stiffly—cross your arms more, clench your fists and so on—as a way to physically hold back your natural response. And that’s why white men can’t dance, basically.

I’m simplifying greatly because the section is long, but it was quite interesting—in the example provided, he talks about a patient who had been repressing a lot for decades and how he usually used music therapy to help people get in touch with a natural rhythm.

This guy just could not find it. If you repress and repress and repress some things some people will never be able to get it back.

When he was talking about how our emotions affect our physicality it reminded me of how easily I stopped biting my nails once I was out of an awful situation. Bit them for years—until they bled—tried everything to stop. Once I was out of high school—school had always been a living hell for me—I just stopped. Without trying or noticing.

As I was working on the review I realised that since I’ve moved to England what I thought was TMJ has cleared up. My doctor said he couldn’t find anything wrong with the actual joint, but my jaw popped like hell when I ate anything chewy—loud enough to hear it across the room. It seemed like that’s what I had. It doesn’t do that now. I think the muscle in my jaw was very tense—maybe I was clenching it a lot. I had never been happy where I grew up or in the general area where I lived. Liberals aren’t meant to be born and raised in the American South.

They say you can’t move away from your problems, but apparently you can. Some will just go away if you get away from the stressors. Either way—it’s nice to be able to eat chewy bread and yawn without my jaw popping again.

In this book—there’s a lot of talk about archetypes, rituals and symbols and how to understand and use them to your advantage. I particularly liked this bit:

A couple in a D/s relationship could create the mutual intention, for example, to aspire to the highest ideals of their respective positions as Dominant and submissive and bring these qualities to the relationship.

He goes on to talk about how, obviously, people aren’t going to achieve perfection—it’s about intent and commitment, though.

While we’re on not achieving perfection—everything was not perfect, because when is it ever. And you know I like to cover the pros and the cons.

There was more repetition than necessary—several repeated paragraphs. I don’t mean publishing errors, I mean bits that were repeated intentionally.

In a similar vein, the author had a tendency to overstate his case. I understand—it’s hard to kill your darlings. You have twelve paragraphs that are beautifully written, but if you’ve covered everything you need to say in six then the six will suffice. The people reading the book, they get it… you’re preaching to the choir.

I was hoping for more actual exercises on how to work out your personal interests. The book is called a ‘guide’ and at times it felt more like an ad for the author’s personal brand of therapy.

There are some recommendations, and quite a bit of advice for other things, but that could be overshadowed by the overstating of his case. It’s also understandable that you can’t write down exactly how therapy works because it’s going to be tailored to each individual. The title just didn’t seem quite apt. You guys know how much I love my homework.

When he was talking about your Personal Erotic Myth it reminded me of Meg-John Barker’s class, which I attended at Eroticon. The session was about learning about yourself through your fantasies. It included a zine—a pamphlet that was quite a few pages long and had many exercises. We only got through a couple or three in the class and my mind was blown. I learned things about myself just by examining my fantasies for forty-five minutes—and I think we did, like part of three pages of the nineteen pages in the booklet.

This book—Decoding Your Kink—made me want to break that back out and really sit down with it. The zine is available on Meg-John’s site, which is megjohnandjustin.com—the actual document is here. It’s £2.50, but it’s worth it. Whether you’re a writer and are looking for inspiration or just want to learn more about yourself or your partner or how your brain works when you’re not looking (because your brain is doing stuff when you’re not looking)—it’s totally worth it.

I was also reminded me of Madison Young’s homework assignment from her DIY Porn Handbook, which I reviewed in episode forty, where she talked about just having a conversation with your desire.

Just:
Hello desire.
‘Hello.’
What do you most crave?

Then letting your desire guide the conversation from there.

I took the Personal Erotic Myth Survey on Fous’ site (link in the notes, if you’d like to contribute your info) and it’s a fairly blunt tool and really not scientific—which the author admits to. Participants are self-selected from sex and kink-positive communities, which will skew your results like mad. There have been over 2,400 respondents, though. I’ll be writing a separate post about the survey itself that will be up in a couple weeks, hopefully.

It’s just about paying attention to who you are in those private moments and accepting those sides of yourself.

Now I’m going to put on my Pedantic Pants because I cannot help myself. If it drives you crazy, pretend they’re made of your favourite fetish material.

There are flocks of possessive apostrophes when words should have been plural. Including in a paper that had been submitted to a professional journal which was a little…oof

Some people enjoy making up words for things. Sometimes that’s useful—because we don’t really have a word for that thing and when we don’t have a word for something it can be easy to pretend it doesn’t exist. Other times it can come across as precious—it depends on the words chosen.

Other times people come up with new words for things we already have words for (that’s not really the case here—it’s just one of my peeves—‘We already have a word for that’).

The author invented a few new words and phrases, is what I’m trying to say.

Like, Sex Creature. This is described thusly:

Most people have a complex authentic sexual persona, as distinct as a fingerprint and inherent as their eye-color…

Then he goes on to say these sexual personae are ‘distinct and independent from our outer social personas.’

While this phrase is useful—to help people who are ashamed say, ‘Oh see, this is a part of myself, but a separate part and it has a name’—I feel like trying to get the psychotherapy community to embrace the term ‘sex creature’… it’s very Freudian, isn’t it? It sounds like something someone with a German accent would ask you about. ‘Are you in touch with your sex creature?’

‘Sure, his name is Ralph and he sounds like Elmo. Looks like Sweetums, though.’ Sweetums was that giant Muppet on Sesame Street.

Sweetums the Muppet

My sex creature (not the guy in the hat). [source]

Love the concept. The name, though… it’s like English food. Not so great with the naming.

The last thing is Fetishsexuality. Or what Jillian Keenan—who wrote the outstanding Sex with Shakespeare—calls Alternasexuality—I believe that’s her word for it. Something like that. It’s based on ‘alternative’. Both authors are trying to do the same thing, which is establish that kink is an orientation for some people and should be recognised as a valid, separate orientation like being gay or straight.

Keenan had a great article on Slate about kink being an orientation, actually—it’s something she writes about a lot—anyway… the idea would be a huge step forward in terms of legal issues. If kink was recognised as ‘just the way some people practise intimacy’ then taking children away from parents who are kinky, forcing morality clauses on kinksters and so on would go the way of the dodo.

So I do think a word is useful in that it helps validate the group to the people outside—who are the ones passing laws and making judgments against us—but it also lets people who might be uncomfortable with that part of themselves know they’re not alone. ‘No, you’re fine. There’s a word for that. Welcome.’

And if you think there are too many labels out there—people only started to use the word ‘gay’ to mean exclusively ho-mo-sexual in the 60s. Not that long ago. If you complain about there being too many labels, that usually means you’ve never had a difficult time working out who you are or your place in the world. Congratulations. Not everyone is that lucky. Have some compassion.

So. A word is good. I’m not in love with ‘fetishsexual’ though. I know what it means and it sounds like it’s exclusively for people with abnormally high attachments to textiles or clowns or something. It’s sort of specific sounding. It feels like I’ll be explaining what it means to everyone if I describe myself that way.

‘Alternasexual’ … Sorry, Jillian. I love you, but I feel like Winona Ryder is going to show up and we’re going to listen to a mix tape while wearing flannel… That doesn’t sound so bad, actually. It’s a little 90s, is what I mean, though.

But I don’t have a suggestion! I know! I’m terrible!

However, if either of those caught on and the mainstream started to get it, accept it and defend it—I’d happily explain what it meant to everyone. I don’t care what you call it, just give me my rights and dignity.

I suppose, though, ‘whateversexual’ (maybe that’s what we should call it—since people can literally be into “whatever”)—‘Whateversexual’ would be the technical term and ‘kinky’ would be the slang. Like homosexual and heterosexual are technical terms for gay or lesbian and straight.

I’ve only just realised, bisexuals are only ‘bi’. They don’t have an informal name. Huh. We got really lazy when naming the bis.

Anyway, those are my thoughts and this episode is long. Wrapping up:

Overall, I enjoyed it. Fous has some thought-provoking insights and useful advice. If you are interested in the psychology of kink maybe give it a look.

I’d give this one a 4/5.

Episode 052: Decoding Your Kink

Episode the fifty-second; Wherein the Pageist seems to have become an adult at some point, meditates on the importance of finding your place and learns about her personal erotic myth. The book reviewed is Decoding Your Kink: Guide to Explore, Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires by Galen Fous.

.45 Intro and Announcements:

9.50 My Submissive Life:

  • ThePageist.com is two years old. When I started the site I could have never forseen where it would take me. I’m so grateful for what I get to do.

12.39 Book Review:

Decoding Your Kink book cover

(source)

35.55 Closing Remarks:

  • Thank you for tuning in!
  • In the next episode I’ll be interviewing Graydancer of Kink Sex Culture about consent.
  • Support the show and site on Patreon!
  • Like The Pageist on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads, Quora, Medium, and Instagram and join the Fetlife group.
  • You can also subscribe to the website through the email form in the sidebar.
  • Subscribe to the iTunes feed here. You can also rate the show in iTunes, which would be much appreciated!
  • The libsyn feed is here and can be used in your favourite podcast feed reader.
  • All episodes can be heard in an embedded player on this page.