Book Recommendations

Whether you’re looking for a gift for someone else, are interested in progressing in your own journey, or are just plain curious, here are the books I most recommend. To be sure a book is right for your purposes, check out the review first.

If a book falls under more than one category, it will appear more than once. However, if a book is focused on one type of activity/fetish/kink, it will be under that heading.

Click on a section heading to reveal the delicious recommendations hidden within:

Age Play

BDSM (General Information)

  • Different Loving and Different Loving Too by Gloria Brame, William Brame and Jon Jacobs: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    [I loved both of these but the second one doesn’t make much sense without reading the first. Be sure to check the review to see if it’s what you’re looking for.]
  • Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities by David M. Ortmann and Richard A. Schott: Review (podcast); Review (written)

BDSM (Practical Information)

  • All Experience Levels
    • Playing Well with Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams: Review (Podcast); Review (written)
      [I’m including this here because, though there’s no information on how to do naughty things to another person, there’s beaucoup information on how to conduct oneself in every possible situation with kinky people doing their kinky things.]
  • Introductory to Intermediate
    • 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM by Tristan Taormino: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [Concise, inclusive, wide-ranging information for people brand new to BDSM.]
    • The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    • The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [The New Topping and New Bottoming books should be must-reads for new people in the scene.]
    • S/M 101 by Jay Wiseman
      [I haven’t read this (it’s on my list), but have heard many people I trust reference it and that’s good enough for me.]

Comics

Erotica (The Good Stuff)

  • Juliette by Marquis de Sade.
    [I’m currently reading this and WOW with the lesbian sex (in a convent, no less!) Everything’s consensual and vanilla thus far, but there are hundreds of pages to go and it’s de Sade so… This description will be updated as I can classify it. Up to this point: Lesbian sex, lesbian orgies and general debauchery and de Sade’s philosophy of hedonism.]
  • Leather Ever After: An Anthology of Kinky Fairy Tales edited by Sassafras Lowrey: Review (podcast)Review (written)
    [An anthology that showcases a variety of kinks from some well-known authors in the scene. Makes great bedtime reading. Circlet Press will be re-releasing this in 2018 with far fewer typos, no doubt.]
  • The Marketplace Series by Laura Antoniou
    [If consensual 24/7 slavery taken to its furthest extreme is your fantasy–start here.]

  • Scary Stories to Tingle Your Butt: 7 Tales of Gay Terror by Chuck Tingle: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    [Chuck Tingle is either going to be something you didn’t know you needed in your life or put you right off your cornflakes. Do your research before picking one of his up.]
  • The Sleeping Beauty Quartet by Anne Rice.
    [If you’re into the forced submission & humiliation fantasy–go here first. I haven’t finished any of these, however, I’ve read enough to know they’re not my bag but they’re very well-written.]

    • The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty
    • Beauty’s Punishment
    • Beauty’s Release
    • Beauty’s Kingdom
  • The Story of O by Pauline Reage.
    [I have not read this one so can’t currently classify it. It’s a classic of BDSM erotica, however, and belongs on the list.]
  • Sweet and Rough: Queer Smut: by Sinclair Sexsmith: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    [Oh, swoon. Well-written lesbian erotica featuring packing with a focus on dominance and submission.]

Ethical Non-Monogamy (Open Relationships, Swinging, Polyamory)

  • All Experience Levels
    • The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships and Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy: Review (podcast)Review (written)
    • Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in an Open Relationship by Kitty Chambliss: Review (podcast); Review (written);
      [This book is also useful for learning to handle other overwhelming emotions like anxiety and anger.]
    • A Life Less Monogamous by Cooper S. Beckett: Review (podcast)Review (written)
      [A novel about a couple that gets into swinging–see Fiction with Kink for more info.]

      • Approaching the Swingularity: Tales of Swinging and Polyamory in Paradise by Cooper S. Beckett: Review (podcast); Review (written)
        [Sequel to A Life Less Monogamous–the gang goes to a swingers’ resort and hijinks ensue.]
    • Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino: Review (podcast); Review (written) While Ethical Slut is a classic I would recommend this first. Both give the reader much to think about.
    • Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory by Page Turner: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [Memoir about the author’s start in poly–one of those ‘How NOT to poly’ books, but highly entertaining, nonetheless.]

Female Led Relationships

  • Introductory to Intermediate
    • She Makes the Rules: Create the FLR (Female Led Relationship) of His and Her Dreams by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This is for starting a general Female Led Relationship type of power exchange.]
    • She’s in Control: A Guide to Finding and Developing Your Lover’s Inner Domme by MsNN: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This is for designing a Dominant/submissive (as opposed to Mistress/slave) Female Led Relationship. It can be used to build upon the previous book or as a stand-alone.]
    • Slave to Her Whim: A Guide to Finding Your Passion and Freedom in Total Power Exchange by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This is for designing a Mistress/slave (as opposed to Dominant/submissive) Female Led Relationship, which requires more of an authority transfer than the others. It can be used to build upon She Makes the Rules, or a couple could move through the three books as a way to progress towards more control or this one can act as a stand-alone.]

Fiction (Classics A.k.a. Your Ancestors Were Filthy)

  • Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland: Review (podcast); Review(written); Quotes
  • The Pearl edited by some naughty Victorian editors.
    [Bawdy poems, naughty short stories and other delightful dirtiness. I’ve read bits and pieces, certainly enough to give this two thumbs up.]
  • Story of the Eye by Georges Bataille: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    [Wooboy, classics can include hardcore sadomasochism and religious defilement.]

Fiction (General Fiction With An Element Of Kink)

  • A Life Less Monogamous by Cooper S. Beckett: Review (podcast)Review (written)
    [Less ‘element of kink’ and more ‘element of swinging’. Well, it’s all about a couple who gets into swinging. Pegging features at one point and a female character discovers her bisexuality.]

    • Approaching the Swingularity: Tales of Swinging and Polyamory in Paradise by Cooper S. Beckett: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [The sequel to Life Less Monogamous–this one has much more kink, pegging and, now, male bisexuality!]
  • The Piano Teacher by Elfriede Jelinek: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    [Are you into really well-written books about repressed people discovering their masochistic tendencies? Here you go.]
  • Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
    [I’ve read this twice before but haven’t reviewed it on the show yet. Love it–it’s a classic of masochism, both psychological and physical. Masoch is where we get the word for ‘masochism’.]

Gender Studies

General Non-Fiction

General Sexuality (Non-kinky But Practical)

  • All Experience Levels
    • Sexting: The Grownups Little Book of Getting Dirty Digitally by Tina Horn: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [Communication techniques to improve your sex life, whether you’re kinky or vanilla in a fun, accessible format.]

Humour

  • My Dad Wrote a Porno: The Fully Annotated Edition of Belinda Blinked 1 by Jamie Morton, James Cooper, Alice Levine and Rocky Flinstone: Review (podcast)Review (written)
    [What can I say about this? If you’re a fan of the My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast this is unmissable.]

Leather (General Information)

  • Life, Leather and the Pursuit of Happiness by Steve Lenius: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    [Want to know what the deal is with the Leather scene? This is the closest thing to a potted history–past, present and possible future–as you’ll get.]

Memoirs

Porn (non-fiction Regarding)

Power Exchange, D/s, M/s

  • All Experience Levels
    • Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus by Christina Abernathy
      [This is two books excellent for improving submission in yourself or your s-type. I’m doing the exercises and have found it to be immesinely useful.]
    • The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance by Anton Fulmen
      [I’m currently reading this and have already recommended it to people interested in improving their Dominance. Good for those who feel they aren’t a ‘natural’ Dominant.]
    • Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and dawn Williams: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    • Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/slave Relationships edited by Raven Kaldera: Review (podcast), Review (written)
      [This is a collection of essays on different types of power exchange, but it’s an excellent source of inspiration to help design your own relationship.]
    • Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera. Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This book is indispensable for people looking to improve their service or improve their ability to guide a service sub or receive service more gracefully.]
    • Where I am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
      [A year’s worth of writing prompts and exercises for s-types to work through either alone or with a D-type. I’m doing these now and am learning a great deal about myself and my submission.]
  • Introductory to Intermediate
    • She Makes the Rules: Create the FLR (Female Led Relationship) of His and Her Dreams by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This is for starting a general Female Led Relationship type of power exchange.]
    • She’s in Control: A Guide to Finding and Developing Your Lover’s Inner Domme by MsNN: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This is for designing a Dominant/submissive (as opposed to Mistress/slave) Female Led Relationship. It can be used to build upon the previous book or as a stand-alone.]
    • Slave to Her Whim: A Guide to Finding Your Passion and Freedom in Total Power Exchange by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This is for designing a Mistress/slave (as opposed to Dominant/submissive) Female Led Relationship, which requires more of an authority transfer than the others. It can be used to build upon She Makes the Rules, or a couple could move through the three books as a way to progress towards more control or this one can act as a stand-alone.]

Psychology

  • Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure by Dr David Ley: Review (podcast); Review (written)
  • Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities by David M. Ortmann and Richard A. Schott: Review (podcast); Review (written)
    [This is particularly helpful if you’re looking for a kink-friendly therapist or are in the mental healthcare industry and want to know how to treat kinky people in a more accepting and non-biased manner.]

Science Of Sex

  • Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach
    [I read this years ago–Roach’s style is conversational, informative and laugh-out-loud funny.]
  • Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, PhD
    [I’m currently reading this one, but it’s outstanding. The sort of book that challenges received wisdom about the way sex works.]
  • Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation: The Definitive Guide to the Evolutionary Biology of Sex by Olivia Judson
    [I read this book several years ago, but it was hilarious and educational if you enjoy learning about the weird and wonderful (and weird) mating habits of non-humans.]

Service

  • All Experience Levels
    • Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus by Miss Abernathy.
      [This collects two classics and is an outstanding resource for s-types training on their own or within a power exchange.]
    • Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera. Review (podcast); Review (written)
    • Where I am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker.
      [I’ve been working my way through this for awhile–it’s set up to be completed over a year–and it’s definitely helping me grow in my own submission.

Spanking

  • Introductory
    • Spanking for Lovers by Janet W. Hardy: Review (Podcast), Review (written)
      [If you have experience with spanking it’s worth getting this book anyway–it’s rather hot in places and you may learn something. And there are illustrations that are…nice.]
  • All Experience Levels
    • Sex with Shakespeare: Here’s Much to Do with Pain but More with Love by Jillian Keenan: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [This is memoir about a woman’s journey to accepting her own spankophile tendencies, but if you’re interested in hearing other people’s stories (or Shakespeare) this is a good one.]

Submission

  • All Experience Levels
    • Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus by Miss Abernathy.
      [This collects two classics and is an outstanding resource for s-types training on their own or within a power exchange.]
    • Where I am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker.
      [I’ve been working my way through this for awhile–it’s set up to be completed over a year–and it’s definitely helping me grow in my own submission.]

Taboo Play

  • All Experience Levels
    • The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo by Mollena Williams: Review (podcast); Review (written)
      [All the things that can be just Too Much–why people do them and how to do them conscientiously and safely.]

Technology

  • The Smart Girl’s Guide to Privacy by Violet Blue: Review (podcast).
    [If you or someone you know is interested in protecting their online privacy, this book (bundled with stickers for your webcams, if you’d like) is an excellent place to start.]