Book Recommendations

Whether you’re looking for a gift for someone else, are interested in progressing in your own journey, or are just plain curious, here are the books I most recommend. To be sure a book is right for your purposes, check out the review first.

If a book falls under more than one category, it will appear more than once. However, if a book is focused on one type of activity/fetish/kink, it will be under that heading.

Age Play

All Experience Levels

The Toybag Guide to Age Play by Lee ‘Bridgett’ Harrington: Review (podcast); Review (written)

BDSM (General Information)

Different Loving and Different Loving Too by Gloria Brame, William Brame and Jon Jacobs: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[I loved both of these but the second one doesn’t make much sense without reading the first. Be sure to check the review to see if it’s what you’re looking for.]

Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities by David M. Ortmann and Richard A. Schott: Review (podcast); Review (written)

BDSM (Practical Information)

All Experience Levels

Playing Well with Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams: Review (Podcast); Review (written)
[I’m including this here because, though there’s no information on how to do naughty things to another person, there’s beaucoup information on how to conduct oneself in every possible situation with kinky people doing their kinky things.]

Introductory to Intermediate

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy: Review (podcast); Review (written)

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy: Review (podcast); Review (written)

S/M 101 by Jay Wiseman
[I haven’t read this (it’s on my list), but have heard many people I trust reference it and that’s good enough for me.]

D/s

(see Power Exchange)

Erotica (The Good Stuff)

Juliette by Marquis de Sade.
[I’m currently reading this and WOW with the lesbian sex (in a convent, no less!) Everything’s consensual and vanilla thus far, but there are hundreds of pages to go and it’s de Sade so… This description will be updated as I can classify it. Up to this point: Lesbian sex, lesbian orgies and general debauchery and de Sade’s philosophy of hedonism.]

Leather Ever After: An Anthology of Kinky Fairy Tales edited by Sassafras Lowrey: Review (podcast)Review (written)
[An anthology that showcases a variety of kinks from some well-known authors in the scene. Makes great bedtime reading.]

The Marketplace Series by Laura Antoniou
[If consensual 24/7 slavery taken to its furthest extreme is your fantasy–start here.]

The Sleeping Beauty Quartet by Anne Rice.
[If you’re into the forced submission & humiliation fantasy–go here first. I haven’t finished any of these, however, I’ve read enough to know they’re not my bag but they’re very well-written.]

  • The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty
  • Beauty’s Punishment
  • Beauty’s Release
  • Beauty’s Kingdom

The Story of O by Pauline Reage.
[I have not read this one so can’t currently classify it. It’s a classic of BDSM erotica, however, and belongs on the list.]

Ethical Non-Monogamy (Open Relationships, Swinging, etc)

All Experience Levels

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships and Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy: Review (podcast)Review (written)

A Life Less Monogamous by Cooper S. Beckett: Review (podcast)Review (written)
[A novel about a couple that gets into swinging–see Fiction with Kink for more info.]

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino: Review (podcast); Review (written) While Ethical Slut is a classic (and is in the midst of being re-worked into a third edition) I would recommend this first. Both give the reader much to think about.

Female Led Relationships

Introductory to Intermediate

She Makes the Rules: Create the FLR (Female Led Relationship) of His and Her Dreams by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is for starting a general Female Led Relationship type of power exchange.]

She’s in Control: A Guide to Finding and Developing Your Lover’s Inner Domme by MsNN: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is for designing a Dominant/submissive (as opposed to Mistress/slave) Female Led Relationship. It can be used to build upon the previous book or as a stand-alone.]

Slave to Her Whim: A Guide to Finding Your Passion and Freedom in Total Power Exchange by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is for designing a Mistress/slave (as opposed to Dominant/submissive) Female Led Relationship, which requires more of an authority transfer than the others. It can be used to build upon She Makes the Rules, or a couple could move through the three books as a way to progress towards more control or this one can act as a stand-alone.]

Fiction (Classics a.k.a. Your Ancestors Were Filthy)

Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland: Review (podcast); Review(written); Quotes

The Pearl edited by some naughty Victorian editors.
[Bawdy poems, naughty short stories and other delightful dirtiness. I’ve read bits and pieces, certainly enough to give this two thumbs up.]

Fiction (General Fiction with an Element of Kink)

A Life Less Monogamous by Cooper S. Beckett: Review (podcast)Review (written)
[Less ‘element of kink’ and more ‘element of swinging’. Well, it’s all about a couple who gets into swinging. Pegging features at one point and a female character discovers her bisexuality.]

The Piano Teacher by Elfriede Jelinek: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[Are you into really well-written books about repressed people discovering their masochistic tendencies? Here you go.]

Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
[I’ve read this twice before but haven’t reviewed it on the show yet. Love it–it’s a classic of masochism, both psychological and physical. Masoch is where we get the word for ‘masochism’.]

Gender Studies

Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Realities by Lee Harrington: Review (podcast)Review (written)

General Non-Fiction

The Pleasure’s All Mine: A History of Perverse Sex by Julie Peakman: Review (podcast); Review (written)

General Sex (Non-kinky but Practical)

All Experience Levels

Sexting: The Grownups Little Book of Getting Dirty Digitally by Tina Horn: Review (podcast); Review (written)

Leather (General Information)

Life, Leather and the Pursuit of Happiness by Steve Lenius: Review (podcast); Review (written) [Want to know what the deal is with the Leather scene? This is the closest thing to a potted history–past, present and possible future–as you’ll get.]

M/s

(see Power Exchange)

Memoir

The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan: Review (podcast); Review (written)
–Follow up: No Ordinary Love Story by Sophie Morgan: Review (podcast); Review (written)

Girl on the Net: How a Bad Girl Fell in Love by Girl on the Net: Review (podcast)

My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging and Polyamory by Cooper S. Beckett: Review (podcast), Review (written)

Sex with Shakespeare: Here’s Much to Do with Pain but More with Love by Jillian Keenan: Review (podcast); Review (written)

Porn (Non-fiction Regarding)

Coming Out Like a Porn Star: Essays on Pornography, Protection  and Privacy edited by Jiz Lee: Review (podcast)Review (written)

The DIY Porn Handbook: A How-to Guide to Documenting Our Own Sexual Revolution by Madison Young: Review (podcast)

Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure by Dr David Ley: Review (podcast); Review (written)

Power Exchange

All Experience Levels

Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/slave Relationships edited by Raven Kaldera: Review (podcast), Review (written)
[This is a collection of essays on different types of power exchange, but it’s an excellent source of inspiration to help design your own relationship.]

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera. Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This book is indispensable for people looking to improve their service or improve their ability to guide a service sub or receive service more gracefully.]

Introductory to Intermediate

She Makes the Rules: Create the FLR (Female Led Relationship) of His and Her Dreams by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is for starting a general Female Led Relationship type of power exchange.]

She’s in Control: A Guide to Finding and Developing Your Lover’s Inner Domme by MsNN: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is for designing a Dominant/submissive (as opposed to Mistress/slave) Female Led Relationship. It can be used to build upon the previous book or as a stand-alone.]

Slave to Her Whim: A Guide to Finding Your Passion and Freedom in Total Power Exchange by Nookie: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is for designing a Mistress/slave (as opposed to Dominant/submissive) Female Led Relationship, which requires more of an authority transfer than the others. It can be used to build upon She Makes the Rules, or a couple could move through the three books as a way to progress towards more control or this one can act as a stand-alone.]

Psychology

Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure by Dr David Ley: Review (podcast); Review (written)

Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities by David M. Ortmann and Richard A. Schott: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is particularly helpful if you’re looking for a kink-friendly therapist or are in the mental healthcare industry and want to know how to treat kinky people in a more accepting and non-biased manner.]

Service

All Experience Levels

Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus by Miss Abernathy.
[This collects two classics and is an outstanding resource for s-types training on their own or within a power exchange.]

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera. Review (podcast); Review (written)

Where I am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker.
[I’ve been working my way through this for awhile–it’s set up to be completed over a year–and it’s definitely helping me grow in my own submission.

Spanking

Introductory

Spanking for Lovers by Janet W. Hardy: Review (Podcast), Review (written)
[If you have experience with spanking it’s worth getting this book anyway–it’s rather hot in places and you may learn something. And there are illustrations that are…nice.]

All Experience Levels

Sex with Shakespeare: Here’s Much to Do with Pain but More with Love by Jillian Keenan: Review (podcast); Review (written)
[This is memoir about a woman’s journey to accepting her own spankophile tendencies, but if you’re interested in hearing other people’s stories (or Shakespeare) this is a good one.]

Submission

All Experience Levels

Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus by Miss Abernathy.
[This collects two classics and is an outstanding resource for s-types training on their own or within a power exchange.]

Where I am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker.
[I’ve been working my way through this for awhile–it’s set up to be completed over a year–and it’s definitely helping me grow in my own submission.]

Taboo Play

All Experience Levels

The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo by Mollena Williams: Review (podcast); Review (written)

Technology

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Privacy by Violet Blue: Review (podcast).
[If you or someone you know is interested in protecting their online privacy, this book (bundled with stickers for your webcams, if you’d like) is an excellent place to start.]