BDSM Resources

Click on a section heading to reveal the list of useful resources hidden within:
 

Art

Authors

  • Dan & dawn books: Living M/s and Sex, Stories & Power Exchange. Support the authors by buying directly from them.
  • Douglas Kent: Where to find print editions of the classic books on shibari Land and Sky (and others) by Douglas Kent.
  • Lady Laid Bare: Sexy writing and more by Jillian Boyd.
  • Laura Antoniou: Website and shop for author of the classic Marketplace series.
  • Malin James: Dirty words for your dirty mind. And other words, too.
  • Rewriting the Rules: Website of the very smart and cool Meg-John Barker.
  • Ruby Goodnight: Writing from kinky lady Ruby Goodnight.
  • Sugarbutch: Sinclair Sexsmith’s website, with an incredible amount of incredibly sexy writing.

Blogs

  • Bannon.com
  • Beyond the Rainbow: A blog that often focuses on the intersection of kink and BDSM.
  • Consensual Dominance
  • A Dominant and submissive Life: A blog kept by a British BDSM couple. They post fairly regularly and it’s been active since 2012. (The site, not the couple.) They have several surveys and a test that will give you a new way to look at your kink.
  • Domme Chronicles: A blog by Sharyn Ferns, author of Domme Chronicles. The site is about the realities of FemDom, rather than the popular conception of the lifestyle. She’s funny and very real.
  • Formidable Femme: Essays on sexuality, queerness, feminism and mental health.
  • Girl on the Net: One of the best sex blogs out there, run by a genuinely nice human. I reviewed her hilarious memoir in episode 45.
  • I am a Pet: A blog by a submissive learning to be the best pet she can be for her Sir.
  • Innocent Loverboy: A personal, sex blog of a self-described ‘straight and monogamous and vanilla’ man in his 30s.
  • Jenny Trout: This is a vanilla blog, but it’s how I’m ‘reading’ 50 Shades, as she does an epic take-down of every chapter of every book in the trilogy. It’s hilarious and disheartening. That link takes you to the first post on the first chapter of the first book. 50 Shades Darker starts here and 50 Shades Freed begins here.
  • Love Letters to a Unicorn: A blog about love, kink, BDSM and non-monogamy by author Rebecca E Blanton.
  • Lyrical Agony: The blog of a kinky asexual with a fondness for words. Updated rarely but interesting content.
  • Molly’s Daily Kiss: Molly Moore’s personal (sexy) blog that includes photos you wouldn’t necessarily want to show your mother.
  • The Pervocracy: A hilarious blog concerned with feminism and BDSM. It hasn’t been updated since December 2014, but I’m keeping the link in the hopes the author will return.
  • Pure Liquid Kink: A blog kept by a male submissive in a relationship with a female D-type. His posts, while infrequent, are articulate and insightful.
  • Slut, Ph.D.: ‘Sex Advice & Opinions for the 21st Century’ A blog by an academic kinkster who goes by Cookie Monster on FetLife. Her writings are thought-provoking and, well, academic, but also accessible.
  • The Whores of Yore: Vintage erotic images, dirty poems from way back and other things we don’t like to think our long-dead ancestors knew anything about.

Books/Publishers

  • 100 Sex Education Books: A list of books for an array of needs and interests from Book Riot.
  • Circlet Press: Erotica for kinky geeks. Supernatural, fantasy, steampunk, furry, and The Marketplace books.
  • Cleis Press: Publisher of LGBT+, BDSM and erotica.
  • Daedalus Publishing: Books about Leather culture and all sorts of other sexy, naughty things.
  • Greenery Press: Publishing company run by Janet W Hardy, which features kink and LGBT-friendly titles.
  • Life, Leather, Pursuit: The accompanying website to Life, Leather and the Pursuit of Happiness by Steve Lenius, which I reviewed in episode 27.
  • Literotica: 100% free erotica and erotic audio.
  • Mystic Productions Press: Lee Harrington’s publishing company. Support the author by buying directing from him.
  • Sex Book of the Month: Book reviews and free give-aways of books of various types that will interest the poly, kinky and amorous sorts of readers. A co-project of Kink Academy and Passionate U.
  • Sunstone: This is chapter one of the Sunstone lesbian, BDSM comic by Stjepan Sejic, if you’d like to read it for free on DeviantArt. The rest are there, as well. They can also be purchased in trade paperback format.

Chat Rooms

  • BDSM Community IRC: Freenode, international chat room for kinky people.
  • Perverted Podcast TinyChat: Chat room that’s live during recording of the show Monday evenings from 7.30pm pacific standard time. Come join us, it’s a blast!

Collaring

Community & News

Dominant/Submissive Information

Education

Fun & Games

  • Consensual Torture Simulator: A compact text game about hurting someone who wants it.
  • Encyclopedia Fuckme and the Case of the Vanishing Entree: A ‘super pornographic’ game. According to the site ‘it contains FUCKING, THREATS OF VIOLENCE, THREATS OF FUCKING, VIOLENCE, and VIOLENT FUCKING.’
  • Oh Joy Sex Toy: Web comic by Erika Moen of reviews of sex toys, with other sex positive posts, as well as guest comics by BDSM artists.
  • Radiator 2: Three hilarious, well executed, moderately explicit gay games by Robert Yang. Hurt Me Plenty, Succulent, Stick Shift. My review, including videos, is here.

General Resources & Information

  • 25 Facts about BDSM You Won’t See in 50 Shades of Grey: Humorous but informative list from Buzzfeed
  • BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare and Subdrop (and sometimes topdrop)
  • BDSM Tip Sheet For Beginners by Lady Green and Jay Wiseman
  • BDSM Wiki: What it says. It’s missing some information I’ve looked for (because I’ve been looking for it I didn’t feel qualified to update the wiki), but it’s also had some quite good information.
  • Dominant Guide: A website focusing on issues Dominants face.
  • The Iron Gate: A BDSM resource and knowledge base.
  • The Kink Realm: A BDSM, adult, sex-positive, alternative lifestyle article resource. With ‘channels’ for certain topics like submission and true stories.
  • Society of Janus: San Francisco-based support and education organization.
  • Submissive Guide: Website geared towards submissives with information on service, mentoring and a wide range of other topics.
  • Kink Aware Professionals Directory from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom: No matter what you’re looking for–if there’s a professional in that field who’s cool with the kinky people, they’re listed here.
  • The Science of BDSM: (Slideshow) Informative look at the neurochemicals involved in BDSM play.
  • Sexual Representation Collection from the University of Toronto.It has contributions from Lord Morpheous, Tristan Taormino and Annie Sprinkle, among others. From their site:

    The Sexual Representation Collection is one of the biggest single University-based research collections of materials relating to sexuality.  Our collection specializes in commercially-produced materials that depict representations of sexuality for pleasure or education, as well as in censorship and the ways in which legal attitudes towards sexuality have impacted sexual representations and those engaged in their production.

HPV Information

Leather

  • Leather Archives: The Leather Archives & Museum is dedicated to the compilation, preservation, and maintenance of leather, kink, and fetish lifestyles.
  • Leatherati: Leather People, Events and News

Legal Issues

Negotiation

  • CEPE BDSM Checklist: This is a PDF of the now unavailable but excellent Columbia Erotic Power Exchange (CEPE) BDSM Checklist, which includes 200 questions for both tops and bottoms to facilitate negotiations. The images are broken because I retrieved it from an internet archive.
  • Negotiation Slideshow: Brief slideshow about the importance of negotiation in D/s relationships.
  • Rain City: TNG: A much shorter negotiation page with a human body to draw on for reference to get play going faster.
  • Vanilla Checklist: All sorts of other things not covered in the other checklists that people may not think to bring up. This is an excellent tool to get to know a partner better.

Podcasts

  • Erotic Awakening: A long-running show (370 episodes and counting) hosted by a poly M/s couple. They discuss… everything, I guessing. I’m still listening to episodes. My review is here.
  • Masocast: Conversations with a wide-array of pro-sex folks. D-types, s-types, poly and anything else you can think of.
  • Multiamory
  • My Dad Wrote a Porno
  • Passion and Soul: Shibari aficionado Lee Harrington’s Passion and Soul podcast covers kink and sex from a more spiritual point of view with lots of interviews.
  • The People of Kink: Crazy Heart interviews a variety of kinky people about how they realized they were kinky and where their journeys have taken them.
  • Perverted Podcast: An entertaining and informative show out of L.A., hosted by four kinksters. I highly recommend this one. You can read my review for more info on particulars.
  • Swingset.FM
  • Why Are People Into That

Research

Rope

  • Anatomy for Rope Bondage: An instructional video showing the nerves on various parts of the body that may be compromised during various ties and how to avoid injury.
  • deGiotto Rope: YouTube channel of instructional videos with some basics.
  • Kinbaku Luxuria: (NSFW) Beautiful website of shibari/kinbaku by professional Riggers with free and paid downloadable content.
  • MauiKink: A wide-range of handmade ropes in all the colours of the rainbow and other shibari equipment.
  • Rope Bottom Guide: Newest Edition of the free-to-download rope bottom guide. It’s full color and full of information that’s useful to both bottoms and tops who do rope.
  • RopeSpace: Educational website and shop with handmade, high quality rope. Included are NSFW photographs of Bodhi’s (RopeSpace owner) work.
  • Twisted Monk: Maker of fine rope, as well as how-to videos and the much-coveted by this blogger MonkSak.

Science Of BDSM

  • Science of BDSM Website: The website for the Science of BDSM Research Team. With copies of their publications and information about where they’re presenting next.
  • Subspace and How it Works: An excellent explanation of neurochemicals and psychology involved in BDSM in this article from Broadly.

Sex Tips

  • Cunnilingus: Graydancer shares three of his favourite cunnilingus tips in this podcast episode.
  • Masturbation Ideas: If your solo routine is beginning to be a bit boring, give some of these mental games a go.

Sex Toy Reviews

Sex Work

Shopping

  • Beautifully Bound
  • Black Market Chicago: Etsy shop with various BDSM accessories including day collars and handmade leather paddles.
  • Discreet Slave: Etsy shop for …what it says. Jewellery for when you want to be out and about without having the cops involved.
  • Embellish Maille: Etsy shop for handmade submissive day collars & other discreet BDSM jewellery. You can read my interview with the owner here.
  • Eros Moon: Beautiful handmade jewelry for kinksters and submissives. Discreet day collars, earrings and more. I’m particularly a fan of the Story of O rings.
  • FetJeweller: Huge selection of Story of O rings for every budget and design desire. Also collars, triskeles and other BDSM-inspired jewelry.
  • Fucking Sculptures: Handblown glass sex toys.
  • Hole Punch Toys: Individually poured toys for your cooch or your butt. Pretty adorable (or intimidating).
  • Kaylena Design Studio: Etsy shop of handmade day collars. Lots of elegant locks here.
  • Kink Craft: DIY impact toys (you can also buy them already made) and more.
  • Leatherbeaten: High-quality leather gear of all types. Restraints, floggers, collars, etc.
  • London Fetish Fair: Everything a kinky person could desire for sale on the street in London.
  • SubSpace Leathers: High quality, handmade leather kink gear based in the U.K.
  • Tantus: Sex toys, including uncircumcised dildos, which aren’t something you see every day. Reviewed (very positively) by Erika Moen here.

Spanking

  • Sex on the Brain: Podcast episode all about spanking with demonstrations. (This one is fantastic!)
  • Spanking for Lovers: My podcast review of Janet W. Hardy’s classic. Written version of the review here.
  • Why Are People Into That?!: Episode with Sex with Shakespeare author Jillian Keenan where they spend the entire episode discussing why people are into spanking.

Tests & Quizzes

Wax Play

  • Make Your Own Candles for Massage: These are three recipes for three different types of skin safe, low temp candles, good for massage or wax play that you can make yourself.

Please leave a comment to recommend a resource. Knowledge is power and power is sexy.

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