Resources

Art

FotoArcade: San Diego-based fetish photographer

Franz von Bayros: Decadent Austrian artist.

Garth Knight: Website of rope bondage artist Garth Knight. Lots of beautiful NSFW images.

Mapplethorpe Gallery on Artsy: A collection of 100+ of Robert Mapplethorpe’s works. More are added each month.

Authors

Dan & dawn books: Living M/s and Sex, Stories & Power Exchange. Support the authors by buying directly from them.

Douglas Kent: Where to find print editions of the classic books on shibari Land and Sky (and others) by Douglas Kent.

Lady Laid Bare: Sexy writing and more by Jillian Boyd.

Laura Antoniou: Website and shop for author of the classic Marketplace series.

Malin James: Dirty words for your dirty mind. And other words, too.

Rewriting the Rules: Website of the very smart and cool Meg-John Barker.

Ruby Goodnight: Writing from kinky lady Ruby Goodnight.

Sugarbutch: Sinclair Sexsmith’s website, with an incredible amount of incredibly sexy writing.

 

BDSM Resources & Information

25 Facts about BDSM You Won’t See in 50 Shades of Grey: Humorous but informative list from Buzzfeed

BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare and Subdrop (and sometimes topdrop)

BDSM Wiki: What it says. It’s missing some information I’ve looked for (because I’ve been looking for it I didn’t feel qualified to update the wiki), but it’s also had some quite good information.

Dominant Guide: A website focusing on issues Dominants face.

The Iron Gate: A BDSM resource and knowledge base.

The Kink Realm: A BDSM, adult, sex-positive, alternative lifestyle article resource. With ‘channels’ for certain topics like submission and true stories.

Society of Janus: San Francisco-based support and education organization.

Submissive Guide: Website geared towards submissives with information on service, mentoring and a wide range of other topics.

 

Blogs

Bannon.com

Beyond the Rainbow: A blog that often focuses on the intersection of kink and BDSM.

Consensual Dominance

A Dominant and submissive Life: A blog kept by a British BDSM couple. They post fairly regularly and it’s been active since 2012. (The site, not the couple.) They have several surveys and a test that will give you a new way to look at your kink.

Domme Chronicles: A blog by Sharyn Ferns, author of Domme Chronicles. The site is about the realities of FemDom, rather than the popular conception of the lifestyle. She’s funny and very real.

Formidable Femme: Essays on sexuality, queerness, feminism and mental health.

Girl on the Net: One of the best sex blogs out there, run by a genuinely nice human. I reviewed her hilarious memoir in episode 45.

I am a Pet: A blog by a submissive learning to be the best pet she can be for her Sir.

Innocent Loverboy: A personal, sex blog of a self-described ‘straight and monogamous and vanilla’ man in his 30s.

Jenny Trout: This is a vanilla blog, but it’s how I’m ‘reading’ 50 Shades, as she does an epic take-down of every chapter of every book in the trilogy. It’s hilarious and disheartening. That link takes you to the first post on the first chapter of the first book. 50 Shades Darker starts here and 50 Shades Freed begins here.

Love Letters to a Unicorn: A blog about love, kink, BDSM and non-monogamy by author Rebecca E Blanton.

Lyrical Agony: The blog of a kinky asexual with a fondness for words. Updated rarely but interesting content.

Molly’s Daily Kiss: Molly Moore’s personal (sexy) blog that includes photos you wouldn’t necessarily want to show your mother.

The Pervocracy: A hilarious blog concerned with feminism and BDSM. It hasn’t been updated since December 2014, but I’m keeping the link in the hopes the author will return.

Pure Liquid Kink: A blog kept by a male submissive in a relationship with a female D-type. His posts, while infrequent, are articulate and insightful.

Slut, Ph.D.: ‘Sex Advice & Opinions for the 21st Century’ A blog by an academic kinkster who goes by Cookie Monster on FetLife. Her writings are thought-provoking and, well, academic, but also accessible.

The Whores of Yore: Vintage erotic images, dirty poems from way back and other things we don’t like to think our long-dead ancestors knew anything about.

 

Books/Authors/Writing

100 Sex Education Books: A list of books for an array of needs and interests from Book Riot.

Circlet Press: Erotica for kinky geeks. Supernatural, fantasy, steampunk, furry, and The Marketplace books.

Cleis Press: Publisher of LGBT+, BDSM and erotica.

Daedalus Publishing: Books about Leather culture and all sorts of other sexy, naughty things.

Greenery Press: Publishing company run by Janet W Hardy, which features kink and LGBT-friendly titles.

Life, Leather, Pursuit: The accompanying website to Life, Leather and the Pursuit of Happiness by Steve Lenius, which I reviewed in episode 27.

Literotica: 100% free erotica and erotic audio.

Mystic Productions Press: Lee Harrington’s publishing company. Support the author by buying directing from him.

Sex Book of the Month: Book reviews and free give-aways of books of various types that will interest the poly, kinky and amorous sorts of readers. A co-project of Kink Academy and Passionate U.

Sunstone: This is chapter one of the Sunstone lesbian, BDSM comic by Stjepan Sejic, if you’d like to read it for free on DeviantArt. The rest are there, as well. They can also be purchased in trade paperback format.

 

Chat Rooms

BDSM Community IRC: Freenode, international chat room for kinky people.

Perverted Podcast TinyChat: Chat room that’s live during recording of the show Monday evenings from 7.30pm pacific standard time. Come join us, it’s a blast!

 

Collaring

Collaring 101: A brief slideshow on the basics of collaring

Collaring Ceremony & Dom/me Psychology

How to Plan a Formal Collaring Ceremony

 

Community & News

FetLife: Social networking site for kinky people. Like BDSM Facebook but without your relatives spewing about politics.

Informed Consent: BDSM news and activism. Home of the wonderful (and free-to-use) Submissive but not your submissive image.

Strangely Normal

The Cage

The Eulenspiegel Society: A not-for-profit BDSM / Leather / Fetish group dedicated to the social interaction, educational exchange, and ever-changing diversity of our community.

Think Kinky

 

CVs & Resumes

Submissive and Training CVs and Resumes

 

Dominant/submissive Information

Different Types of Submissives

Domination and Submission: An informative introduction to the responsibilities of dominants and the dynamics of dom/sub relationships. Also a general introduction to the BDSM culture.

How to Find a D-Type: Dominant/Master/Mistress, whatever you’re looking for–some advice from Kate Kinsey on how to begin looking.

Internal Enslavement: A website with a collection of essays about M/s and TPE.

Lessons I Learned as a Dominatrix: 10 Things That Don’t Exist: An article by a woman who was a professional dominatrix in three NYC dungeons for six years about what she took away from that time in her life.

MAsT: Masters And slaves Together International. MAsT exists as an education, support and resource group for individuals involved in, or interested in, the Master/slave lifestyle.

Submissive Journaling: Information on keeping a sub journal.
Submissive Journal Prompts: From submissiveguide.

Submissive Playground: An online class for getting more out of your submission or slavehood.

 

Education

GRUE Space: Graydancer’s (from the Ropecast) unconferences, which take place all over the U.S.

Make Sex Easy: Dr Charlie Glickman’s sex-positive website with all sorts of useful information.

ReidAboutSex

Tristan Taormino

 

Fun & Games

Consensual Torture Simulator: A compact text game about hurting someone who wants it.

Encyclopedia Fuckme and the Case of the Vanishing Entree: A ‘super pornographic’ game. According to the site ‘it contains FUCKING, THREATS OF VIOLENCE, THREATS OF FUCKING, VIOLENCE, and VIOLENT FUCKING.’

Oh Joy Sex Toy: Web comic by Erika Moen of reviews of sex toys, with other sex positive posts, as well as guest comics by BDSM artists.

Radiator 2: Three hilarious, well executed, moderately explicit gay games by Robert Yang. Hurt Me Plenty, Succulent, Stick Shift. My review, including videos, is here.

 

General Reference

Kink Aware Professionals Directory from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom: No matter what you’re looking for–if there’s a professional in that field who’s cool with the kinky people, they’re listed here.

The Science of BDSM: (Slideshow) Informative look at the neurochemicals involved in BDSM play.

Sexual Representation Collection from the University of Toronto.It has contributions from Lord Morpheous, Tristan Taormino and Annie Sprinkle, among others. From their site:

The Sexual Representation Collection is one of the biggest single University-based research collections of materials relating to sexuality.  Our collection specializes in commercially-produced materials that depict representations of sexuality for pleasure or education, as well as in censorship and the ways in which legal attitudes towards sexuality have impacted sexual representations and those engaged in their production.

HPV Information

CDC Information: Information about HPV from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Duration and Incubation: Questions and answers about duration and incubation of HPV.

HPV & Cancer in the LGBT Community: Gay men and lesbians are equally susceptible (and in some ways more so) to HPV.

 

Leather

Leather Archives: The Leather Archives & Museum is dedicated to the compilation, preservation, and maintenance of leather, kink, and fetish lifestyles.

Leatherati: Leather People, Events and News

 

Legal Issues

PayPal, Square and Big Banking’s War on the Sex Industry: Delightful article about people who handle money punishing sex workers…which encompasses people who write about sex, talk about sex or even think about sex, probably.

Vice Article about the George Mason University case: ‘We asked a Law Professor if the Government Could Really Ban Rough Sex’

 

Negotiation

CEPE BDSM Checklist: This is a PDF of the now unavailable but excellent Columbia Erotic Power Exchange (CEPE) BDSM Checklist, which includes 200 questions for both tops and bottoms to facilitate negotiations. The images are broken because I retrieved it from an internet archive.

Negotiation Slideshow: Brief slideshow about the importance of negotiation in D/s relationships.

Rain City: TNG: A much shorter negotiation page with a human body to draw on for reference to get play going faster.

Vanilla Checklist: All sorts of other things not covered in the other checklists that people may not think to bring up. This is an excellent tool to get to know a partner better.

 

Podcasts

Erotic Awakening: A long-running show (370 episodes and counting) hosted by a poly M/s couple. They discuss… everything, I guessing. I’m still listening to episodes. My review is here.

Graydancer’s Ropecraft: The longest-running kinky podcast in existence, the Ropecast covers well, rope, but other topics of interest to kinksters of every stripe.

Masocast: Conversations with a wide-array of pro-sex folks. D-types, s-types, poly and anything else you can think of.

Multiamory

My Dad Wrote a Porno

Passion and Soul: Shibari aficionado Lee Harrington’s Passion and Soul podcast covers kink and sex from a more spiritual point of view with lots of interviews.

The People of Kink: Crazy Heart interviews a variety of kinky people about how they realized they were kinky and where their journeys have taken them.

Perverted Podcast: An entertaining and informative show out of L.A., hosted by four kinksters. I highly recommend this one. You can read my review for more info on particulars.

Swingset.FM

Why Are People Into That

Research

Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners: [PDF] Andreas A.J. Wismeijer, PhD and Marcel A.L.M. van Assen, PhD Department of Clinical Psychology, Tilburg University, Tilburg, The Netherlands

 

Rope

Anatomy for Rope Bondage: An instructional video showing the nerves on various parts of the body that may be compromised during various ties and how to avoid injury.

deGiotto Rope: YouTube channel of instructional videos with some basics.

Kinbaku Luxuria: (NSFW) Beautiful website of shibari/kinbaku by professional Riggers with free and paid downloadable content.

MauiKink: A wide-range of handmade ropes in all the colours of the rainbow and other shibari equipment.

Rope Bottom Guide: Newest Edition of the free-to-download rope bottom guide. It’s full color and full of information that’s useful to both bottoms and tops who do rope.

RopeSpace: Educational website and shop with handmade, high quality rope. Included are NSFW photographs of Bodhi’s (RopeSpace owner) work.

Twisted Monk: Maker of fine rope, as well as how-to videos and the much-coveted by this blogger MonkSak.

Science of BDSM

Science of BDSM Website: The website for the Science of BDSM Research Team. With copies of their publications and information about where they’re presenting next.

Subspace and How it Works: An excellent explanation of neurochemicals and psychology involved in BDSM in this article from Broadly.

Sex Tips

Cunnilingus: Graydancer shares three of his favourite cunnilingus tips in this podcast episode.

Masturbation Ideas: If your solo routine is beginning to be a bit boring, give some of these mental games a go.

 

Sex Toy Reviews

A Couple of Kinks: A blog written by a couple who test sex toys separately and together.

Emmeline Peaches Reviews: Reviews of sex toys that may or may not be body safe, as well as sexual health information and more.

Hey Epiphora: Hilarious and thorough blog that’s been running for several years.

Oh Joy Sex Toy: Sex toy review comic by Erika Moen.

Sex Toy Material Guide: How to clean and store sex toys of various materials.

 

Sex Work

How to Be an Ally to Sex Workers: From the Sex Workers Outreach Project

Multiple Resources by Sex Worker Activists: On a wide variety of topics. From Maggie’s Toronto.

SWOP Behind Bars: The Sex Workers Outreach Project Behind Bars works for provide resources to incarcerated sex workers.

 

Shopping

Beautifully Bound

Black Market Chicago: Etsy shop with various BDSM accessories including day collars and handmade leather paddles.

Discreet Slave: Etsy shop for …what it says. Jewellery for when you want to be out and about without having the cops involved.

Embellish Maille: Etsy shop for handmade submissive day collars & other discreet BDSM jewellery. You can read my interview with the owner here.

Eros Moon: Beautiful handmade jewelry for kinksters and submissives. Discreet day collars, earrings and more. I’m particularly a fan of the Story of O rings.

FetJeweller: Huge selection of Story of O rings for every budget and design desire. Also collars, triskeles and other BDSM-inspired jewelry.

Fucking Sculptures: Handblown glass sex toys.

Hole Punch Toys: Individually poured toys for your cooch or your butt. Pretty adorable (or intimidating).

Kaylena Design Studio: Etsy shop of handmade day collars. Lots of elegant locks here.

Kink Craft: DIY impact toys (you can also buy them already made) and more.

Leatherbeaten: High-quality leather gear of all types. Restraints, floggers, collars, etc.

London Fetish Fair: Everything a kinky person could desire for sale on the street in London.

SubSpace Leathers: High quality, handmade leather kink gear based in the U.K.

Tantus: Sex toys, including uncircumcised dildos, which aren’t something you see every day. Reviewed (very positively) by Erika Moen here.

Spanking

Sex on the Brain: Podcast episode all about spanking with demonstrations. (This one is fantastic!)

Spanking for Lovers: My podcast review of Janet W. Hardy’s classic. Written version of the review here.

Why Are People Into That?!: Episode with Sex with Shakespeare author Jillian Keenan where they spend the entire episode discussing why people are into spanking.

 

Tests & Quizzes

BDSM Test: Find out what percentage vanilla you are compared to what percentage bondage receiver and so forth. My results are here.

Beiter Sexuality Preference Indicator: This categorises your sexual preferences in four areas: Partner orientation, arousal method, pleasure and sexual encounters. My post about the test and results are here.

A Picture of your Kink: From the A Dominant and submissive Life blog. It gives the kinkster a chart of their ‘interests’. mmmm charts.

Human Sex Map: See what the enchanted lands of your sexual interests look like.

The 5 Love Languages

 

Wax Play

Make Your Own Candles for Massage: These are three recipes for three different types of skin safe, low temp candles, good for massage or wax play that you can make yourself.

 

Please leave a comment to recommend a resource. Knowledge is power and power is sexy.

Service

General Information The Power Exchange: Types of servants and their responsibilities and skills, as well as reference links on how to provide many types of service. SubmissiveGuide: A large number of reference links for service submissives including etiquette, household management and housekeeping, entertaining, and personal care. Leather Care All About Leather: A site with useful …

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Victorian

If you’re interested in Victorian D/s or M/s or the Victorian Lifestyle in general, this page will be (an ever-growing) resource. Erotica (Artwork or Writing) A large collection of Franz von Bayros drawings of kinky lesbians from the 19th century. The Pearl: The (nearly) complete collection of The Pearl, a delightfully filthy erotic newspaper that was …

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Ethical Porn

All of the resources listed below were taken from the book DIY Porn Handbook: A How-To Guide to Documenting Our Own Sexual Revolution by Madison Young. You can read my review of this book here, or listen to the audio review from episode 40 of my podcast here. Festivals Berlin Porn Film Festival (Berlin, Germany) …

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Online Privacy

The majority of these resources and recommendations come from Violet Blue’s excellent The Smart Girl’s Guide to Privacy. The book was released in 2014, and, as time and hackers march on, this list will change to reflect the way technology is being used for and against those who’d like to maintain a modicum of privacy …

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Worthy Causes

Disheartened by the current state of the world? Feel powerless in the face of impending doom? Make a one-time or recurring donation (or become a lifetime member!) of one of the following organisations. They’ll fight the good fight on behalf of those of us who need it most. Which is most of us. You can …

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