The secret to success is constancy to purpose –Benjamin Disraeli
My third year in the scene begins this week and this is the motto for the year. I’m applying it to both my business (the podcast and website) and my own submission. A person can only advance so far allowing life to happen to them. At a certain point—if they want to advance further—they have to intentionally work on themselves or the particular thing they’d like to improve.
This is one of my all-time favourite quotes and can be applied to every aspect of one’s life. (Benjamin Disraeli was one of Queen Victoria’s prime ministers, if you’re curious.)
No matter what your aim is—whether it’s something practical like improving your health, learning a new language or taking a wood-working class or less easily measurable things like trying to be kinder to yourself or others, practising patience or learning to let go of the things you can’t control—if you keep at it, you’ll improve.
This quote can also be applied to being the best M/D or s-type a person can be. Or the best top or bottom.
The meaning of ‘success’ is fluid
‘Success’ is a sticky word, though. Success doesn’t mean ‘perfect’. It doesn’t mean ‘better than everyone else’. It doesn’t mean reaching a certain point, hearing a DING! and being finished like an expertly cooked ham.
Success means different things depending on your goals. If you’re learning French—it’s possible to learn it fluently, eventually. If you’re trying to have the patience of a saint—that may be a life-long process depending where you’re starting from.
‘Success’ in power exchange
Of course, trying to be the best D or s-type… What’s the definition of ‘success’ there? Knowing you’re improving yourself. Knowing you’re not stagnating. Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses and working to eradicate those weaknesses as much as humanly possible. Making yourself worth leading or worth following. Not feeling like you’ve fooled someone into leading or following you.
‘Constancy’ =/= rigidity
‘Constancy to purpose’ can sound like being rigid in your thinking, like a battering ram is constant to its purpose of getting through a door. If the end goal is to be the best version of yourself (at whatever it is you’re trying to do), then occasionally it’s important to look at your tack and deciding if it’s getting you where you want to go in the healthiest way to get there.
Find your purpose
I like this one because it reminds me of the Stoic philosophy of not going in for complexity when it’s not needed. ‘Find your purpose and don’t get distracted.’
If your purpose seems overwhelming or impossible, break it into smaller steps. No amazing person got to amazing overnight. Cut yourself some slack. Use the S.M.A.R.T. system. There are endless resources out there—find the ones that work for you and what you’re trying to accomplish (I’ll be posting apps for s-types once a month beginning in a couple weeks).
What’s your purpose? How do you keep your focus? How do you define success at your purpose?