Brief Description: Chat and dating app for people into BDSM.
Cost: Free with in-app purchases.
[In app subscription:] £7.99/month or £69.99/year ($9.99/month or $89.99/year) which gets users a larger inbox and the ability to upload more photos. The app says your donation will help keep the app free for the rest of the BDSM community, which sounds…ominous.
Platforms: iOS and Android
Features: Follow members based on filters you set and see their new photos. You can have public and private photos and choose who sees what.
Filters for Age, Sex, Sexual Orientation, Lifestyle Role, Ethnicity.
Drawbacks: No filter for location. I entered my preferences for the above and had my settings set to local, but received photos for people many thousands of miles away.
The only writing is a minimal bio section, which people don’t seem inclined to read. And why should they? The site is set up to be very visual. (This is not a negative—it just is what it is. If you’re turned on by words, this one may not be for you.)
How the app works: Users scroll down a page of public photos. Tapping on a photo brings up a person’s information, which includes their distance from you, when they were last online, age, gender, height, body type, ethnicity, role, role seeking and preferred age range.
From that page you can follow that person to see their uploaded public photos and unlock your private photos for them to see (they will be notified if you do this). You can also send them a message and shout-outs from there, which are similar to pokes.
You can block and report people. Users can also see who has viewed their profile, which is both nice and a little creepy. ‘All of these people have looked at photos of me.’ I suppose that can also be an ego boost, too, depending on who you are.
Users can like and comment on photos.
Will work best for: General networking and looking at photos of people you follow. Unless one of the features paying unlocks is a way to search locally I’m not sure how the ‘dating’ part is supposed to work out. If you live in a very large city there’s a statistical chance you’ll stumble across someone near you on this app.
I could see how, if a person had some time to kill and they wanted to play the ‘let’s see if I can find someone with my kinks’ game on the app. Then start a chat with them.
Review: The website says this app was created by BDSM lifestylers, which gives one hope—assuming this is true at least it’s not vanilla people trying to make money off of kinky people.
The point of the app (according to the website) is to allow kinksters to network around the globe or find a date or relationship (in whatever form that takes for you). iTunes doesn’t allow nudity, so the quote when uploading photos is:
Public photos may not be nude or sexually suggestive.
Which is an interesting caveat for a kink site. What I think of as sexy may not be what iTunes thinks of as sexy. ‘That’s right, file those papers.’
There are different rules for private photos, though.
The ‘sex’ filter, which should be gender, but okay, is: Man, Woman, Other, All.
Lifestyle Role filter options are: Other, Dominant, Submissive, Switch, Slave, Kinkster, All. So. yeah.
The sexual orientation options doesn’t include ‘asexual’. Options are: Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Queer, Pan, Other, All. (The ‘all’ means you’re searching for any of the options.)
There’s something called the KNKI Code—a code of ethics for people using the app—which I’ve never seen before, and I like it. It wasn’t there when I originally looked at the app a few months ago, but it’s similar to a dungeon orientation. Here’s hoping it has a positive effect.
Personal Experience: As a nearly 40-year-old female, just trying to write this review—with no photos of myself on the site and a bio explicitly saying I was an asexual lesbian looking for a female Dominant—I had four men messaging me within an hour. One opening with the genteel: talk to me.
This has never happened to me before.
I did not enjoy it.
I was mentally preparing for a dick pic. (Didn’t happen, but I was ready.)
One person’s member name was Anonymous[numbers] and another was a real sounding name with 69 on the end. Swell.
When I put in my specific parameters: Age: 35-60, Sex: Female, Sexual Orientation: Lesbian (or) Any (I tried both), Lifestyle Role: Dominant, Ethnicity: White (or) Other (I tried both) I barely got an iPhone screen’s worth of matches. This was for the entire world (guess how many were in my area). I don’t know how many members they currently have, or if what I want is just that rare, but it wasn’t a huge draw in terms of wanting to use the app regularly.
On the plus side, Mr Talk to Me turned out to be all right. We had a lovely conversation and wound up friends on Fet. So it wasn’t a total loss.