Sub Journal 006: Submissive or Slave

006. Do you identify as submissive or slave or something entirely different? What is your definition for that identity?

I’m currently unsure how to answer this. In a way, slavehood feels natural—and by that I mean belonging completely to another person and trusting that they have my best interests in mind while also serving that person in ways we’ve negotiated to. In another way, I’m not entirely certain where the line is between submissive and slave.

It seems like a more extreme version of submission, if you view Dominance and submission as a spectrum. I think people fall on the spectrum naturally (or move along it during their lives organically) and no place is better or worse, but I still view Masters/Mistresses and slaves as the far ends of the spectrum and I’m not sure where I am exactly. If I were to begin a relationship with someone I would want to start slowly perhaps as a submissive, though, I suppose all power exchange relationships start as slowly as they need to and progress at their own pace. The difference between D/s and M/s would be the goal of how much power will be exchanged eventually, to my mind.

Identifying as a slave makes me a little nervous, as well, as I don’t have a Mistress and don’t want to deal with people trying to Dom/me me because I’m unowned.

At the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t allow other people to control how I label myself if I know something to be true about myself. It also makes sense to limit the amount of nonsense I have to put up with. Which is related to being a woman or a ‘commodity’–you’re expected to protect yourself rather than being allowed to be your authentic self and know everyone else will respect you as an autonomous human being. It’s a given that some other people will be disrespectful and it’s something certain people (women & s-types for example) have to put up with and expect. Rather than that sort of behavior being unusual, considered rude and the perpetrator dressed down, it’s accepted that that’s how the world works and the receiver of the unwanted attention shouldn’t be surprised.

And I wouldn’t be, which is ridiculous.

This prompt is from the


  • rob23da says:

    How a bout being a submissive and wanting to be a slave? I’m one of those who just was always kinky. In Kindergarten, I talked a girl into holding my arms and her friend into sticking her hand down my pants to touch my erection. I remember discovering bondage via the original Batman t.v. series, and fantasies about being controlled by girls. Good gawd, I’d give practically anything to be in chains and collared for a good part of the day, and forced to yield and submit to a tiny petite kinky as hell perverted female.

    • thepageist says:

      I think it depends on how you define ‘submissive’ and ‘slave’. Being in chains and collared for a good part of the day may or may not render a person useful for their Mistress (depending what their Mistress) needs them to do. In general, lifestyle slaves live their lives to make their D-types’ lives easier, which isn’t all that easy to do if you’re chained to something! 🙂

      As I understand it, you can identify as ‘slave’ without being owned–it depends how much authority you’d ultimately like to give over to the right person.

      I certainly know what you mean about being able to look back and see all the signs that clearly point to having been a kinkster from practically birth, though.

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