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Nov 22 2015

Where I am Led Month 03

Similar to the previous two months, these are the most thought-provoking (for me) posts from the previous month’s prompts from the Where I am Led workbook.

This month had four weeks’ worth of prompts, which is four guideposts and writing assignments each and eight weekly thoughts to choose from.

Weekly Guidepost

Integrity. Your actions are a reflection of your beliefs. Integrity comes when what you do matches what you believe.

Not to be glib, but I didn’t know that’s what integrity was until I read this prompt. I knew it was a positive trait everyone should aspire towards, but couldn’t define it.

I would certainly want my Dominant to have integrity and since I would choose the sort of Dominant I wanted to emulate I should strive for that, as well. Of course, it’s easier to have high ideals than it is to live up to those ideals.

The sort of Dominant I would want would not only hold herself to a high standard, but would expect me to behave in ways that made her look good. And I would want to do so. As I’ve been on this journey I’ve been asking myself how I would behave in certain situations if I knew my actions would reflect poorly on my Dominant. I don’t know why it’s more important to me to make someone else look better than myself, but it is.

Thoughts for the Week 01

Even the most tiresome and tedious of tasks can become pleasurable to perform over time. Initially, focus on the pleasure your Owner will gain from the finished product. Next, focus on the pleasure you give through your willing compliance and continued dedication to service. Finally, take pleasure from what you have learned, your accomplishments, and your added valued as a slave.

This is extremely useful for when I’m looking for any reason not to do something and then trying to talk myself into doing it anything. Generally, I think of it in terms of, ‘I don’t want to disappoint my Dominant’ and ‘I’ll feel badly if she’s unhappy with me,’ but these are three excellent points to keep in mind and I’m going to transcribe them into my assignment notebook as motivation to get on with my assignments.

Thoughts for the Week 02

In ‘vanilla’ society, people are often judged by the company they keep—and this is even more prevalent in the Master/slave community. Your actions are a direct reflection on your Owner, the quality of training you have received, and the standards of behavior that have been set for you. It is up to you whether you are an asset or a liability to your owner.

I absolutely agree with this and would strive to always be the person my Owner knew I could be whether we were together or apart. I view Dominants and submissives as being two sides of the same coin so I would want to reflect the sorts of behaviour—calm, rational, intelligent—that I would appreciate in my Dominant. I’ve always been attracted to (and felt submissive towards) women I wanted to be like. And I would want a D-type who could help me be more like her, if only by modelling honourable behaviour. By constantly being around someone who was the sort of person I wanted to be and who wanted to guide me, I couldn’t help but want to please her by making her look good by being a better person and by serving her.

Writing Assignment

A Song in Your Heart. Name one song that you would sing to your Owner that would describe your relationship and explain why you have chosen that song. (If you are not in a relationship, what song describes how you would like to feel about your Owner.)

The first songs that came to mind were dark—’Venus in Furs’ and that sort of thing, but that wouldn’t be the sort of D-type I’d want. I’d want the sort of person I could sing Natalie Merchants’ ‘Kind and Generous’ too. The lyrics are about a person who is infinitely giving and patient and kind. Very much in line with a nurturing Dominant. And the person singing recognises what that person gives them and is grateful. That’s how I would feel about the sort of person I chose to serve.

These are the lyrics (written by Natalie Merchant):

You’ve been so kind and generous
I don’t know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I’m in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
For everything you’ve done

You know I’m bound…
I’m bound to thank you for it

You’ve been so kind and generous
I don’t know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I’m in debt to you
And I never could have come this far without you
For everything you’ve done

You know I’m bound…
I’m bound to thank you for it

I want to thank you
For so many gifts
You gave with love and tenderness
I want to thank you

I want to thank you
For your generosity
The love and the honesty
That you gave me

I want to thank you
Show my gratitude
My love and my respect for you
I want to thank you

I want to…
Thank you…

Monthly Practical
The practical project for the third month was to do with planning a complex trip. Due to a death in the family and multiple work deadlines I haven’t been able to do the project, though I will still be completing it.

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