A little over a month ago I started Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina “slavette” Parker.
The book is set up to be completed over a year’s time, which I like. I’m not sure how I feel about some of the monthly assignments, which you’re supposed to learn how to do even if you never plan to take up, but I’m going to do my best.
There are monthly practical projects, weekly guideposts, twice weekly thoughts and a weekly writing assignment.
From the book:
Monthly Practical Projects: These projects are designed to help you develop skills that will increase your usefulness to your Owner. While you may never put into practical application the specific projects you complete, you will have many opportunities to apply the skills you will develop as you complete the project.
Weekly Guideposts: These are single words associated with the concepts of service. For each word, I’ve provided a short quote. These quotes are meant to be a starting point for exploration of the concept. What images or emotions come to mind when you think about the guidepost word? Do you have any examples from your own life that help define the concept for you? Keep the guidepost word in mind as you go through your week.
Twice-Weekly Thoughts: The thoughts in this book are bits of advice and insight I have gathered on my own journey. Do you agree or disagree with what I have written? Does what I have written remind you of something specific? Do you have additional comments to add?
Weekly Writing Assignments: The weekly writing assignments are designed to assist you in self-exploration while focusing that exploration in positive directions. I encourage you to be as detailed as possible when you are completing the assignments.
Once a month for the next year I’m going to post my responses to the most interesting/thought-provoking prompts (one each of the Guideposts and Writing Assignments and two Weekly Thoughts) as well as how I got on with the monthly practical project.
This first month had five weeks’ worth of prompts, which is five guideposts and writing assignments each and ten weekly thoughts.
Learning. ‘It is the people who can do nothing who can find nothing to do, and the secret of happiness in this world is not only to be useful, but to be forever elevating one’s usefulness.’ – Sandra Orne Jewett
In realising I am submissive I have discovered an entirely new world of things to learn about. I’m excited about learning in a way I haven’t been in some time because it’s learning about some part of myself that has been hidden from me until this point. It’s like opening a door I hadn’t noticed before. And the more I learn the better of a submissive I can be.
Thoughts for the Week 01
When I think of the awesome responsibility that accepting control of another human being entails, I am humbled. To know that someone believes that this burden is worth shouldering in order to have my submission is a precious gift. It is that state of humility which urges me to continue to improve the quality of my service so that I might ease the burden of Ownership.
Knowing how difficult it is just to take care of myself—I can’t imagine taking on the responsibility of caring for another person to the level a Dominant does for her submissive. It’s clearly part of her nature and something she gets a great deal of satisfaction from, but can also probably be a lot of work, being that she is taking care of both herself and another human being. That is why it would be imperative for me to be the best submissive I could and to make her life as easy as possible in my own way. I think of it as my Dominant running my life so I can make sure hers runs smoothly. So it’s a continual cycle that feeds into itself. I think we should work together to find the ways we can both do our parts of the cycle best—what ways she can best run my life that will allow me to help hers operate as smoothly as possible.
Thoughts for the Week 02
There is a strong power that can be gained through surrender. It is not a power that comes from manipulation or passive-aggressive control over another person. Instead, it is a peaceful, internal power that fills the heart and soul of the slave who recognizes the pleasure that quiet obedience gives to an owner.
Power through obedience is similar to power through silence. There’s a stillness involved in doing as you’re told. At first ‘power’ seemed an odd word choice to me, it makes sense in that anything can hold power if it causes an emotion. To me, ‘power’ is always active—something a person does or has. So the idea of a person whose power comes from obeying, from being still, seems backwards. But it’s like when everyone is yelling and frantic and there’s one person who’s calm. That person seems to have power. Sometimes not doing what you want to do is using your power.
The writing assignment I’m choosing is the only one I couldn’t finish, though it wasn’t from lack of trying. The prompt was this:
Name three fictional characters who would be good role models for an aspiring slave and explain why.
After several days—near the end of the week I had to work on my prompts—I wrote this:
This is terrible, but the first thing that came to mind and wouldn’t budge was Vera Bennett from Wentworth. And she was an example of a terrible submissive. She had the opportunity to serve a commanding, naturally dominant woman (Joan Ferguson) and she was naturally submissive and then she messed it up royally by questioning her guidance and lying to her.
It took awhile for me to come up with even one character who would qualify and eventually I came up with Lee Holloway, the protagonist from Secretary. It seems obvious that someone from a film about kink would be a good sub, but actually most fiction is about forced submission, so it’s rare to see someone who took to it so gleefully.
Lee Holloway is a good role model for aspiring submissives because she blossomed when she found her Dominant. She became more confident as a person and as a woman. She even helped him open up and become more comfortable with who he was, proving that the D-type didn’t have to be the all-knowing, god-like figure of the relationship.
Over the last week I’ve thought and thought about it and I can’t come up with another one. I suppose because I’m always paying attention to the dominant women and never the people serving them. From now on I’ll definitely be paying attention and will update this entry when I come across possible role models.
I rather hope people will leave a comment about characters who make excellent s-types. Because I am still at a loss.
This had to do with being a nutritionist and meal-planning, which is something I would sincerely hope a Dominant would never ask me to do. I dislike cooking like you wouldn’t believe. However I did find some excellent websites like A Girl Called Jack and some places to download meal planning calendars like this one.