Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?
Kink has improved my life in every way. I mentioned the essay Kink Fixed Me a few days ago and I mention it again here, as it describes many of the ways kink improved my life. The short version is that I grew up in a very repressive culture where women weren’t allowed to own their sexuality and being gay was extra terrible. I wanted certain things that didn’t have anything to do with sex (which I now know are D/s related) but didn’t have words for it and felt different from everyone else.
Once I learned I was kinky everything fell into place and suddenly I wasn’t the one who was different or wrong, it was the people trying to make me feel badly about myself who needed to be shoved off a Norwegian fjord.
Another way kink has improved my life is it’s given me a focus—sets of books and films to consume and analyze and lots of things to learn and synthesize. Having an overarching theme to learn about has given my life a sort of meaning. I’ve always enjoyed critically reviewing books and film—I’ve done this for years on my vanilla site—but now I have a topic that speaks to me on a deeper level.
One other way is I liked the idea of being in a 24/7 D/s relationship and being given daily assignments by my Dominant. I wanted to train myself to complete assignments, so I got a notebook and began keeping track of the things I needed to do, what I wanted to do and how many of those I actually got through. (I’ll be doing an in-depth post about this in the coming weeks.) Having assignments/goals written down helped me see what I was actually accomplishing in a day and over the last months I’ve been more productive than I have been in years, my house has never been cleaner and I’m exercising regularly.
The lyrics to this song are apt.