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Sep 19 2015

30 Days of Kink Day 19 Improvements

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

Everything is Awesome

Sorry for the earworm (credit, the shirt is no longer available)

Kink has improved my life in every way. I mentioned the essay Kink Fixed Me a few days ago and I mention it again here, as it describes many of the ways kink improved my life. The short version is that I grew up in a very repressive culture where women weren’t allowed to own their sexuality and being gay was extra terrible. I wanted certain things that didn’t have anything to do with sex (which I now know are D/s related) but didn’t have words for it and felt different from everyone else.

Once I learned I was kinky everything fell into place and suddenly I wasn’t the one who was different or wrong, it was the people trying to make me feel badly about myself who needed to be shoved off a Norwegian fjord.

Another way kink has improved my life is it’s given me a focus—sets of books and films to consume and analyze and lots of things to learn and synthesize. Having an overarching theme to learn about has given my life a sort of meaning. I’ve always enjoyed critically reviewing books and film—I’ve done this for years on my vanilla site—but now I have a topic that speaks to me on a deeper level.

One other way is I liked the idea of being in a 24/7 D/s relationship and being given daily assignments by my Dominant. I wanted to train myself to complete assignments, so I got a notebook and began keeping track of the things I needed to do, what I wanted to do and how many of those I actually got through. (I’ll be doing an in-depth post about this in the coming weeks.) Having assignments/goals written down helped me see what I was actually accomplishing in a day and over the last months I’ve been more productive than I have been in years, my house has never been cleaner and I’m exercising regularly.

In short:

The lyrics to this song are apt.

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