Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
I’ve not yet done anything kinky outside of my head so I’m curious about all the things I’m interested in. I suppose the thing that’s most possible/practical for me to try (if I bothered to go to munches/get vetted/go to dungeons/etc) would be a flogging. I’d have to feel very safe, obviously, but I’d like to know what a heavy, thuddy flogging delivered by an older woman who knew what was what would be like. I’m not comfortable being vulnerable in front of other people, though, so that part makes me incredibly nervous. I’m not sure how I would be at letting go and allowing myself to experience the…experience, as I intellectualize everything.
There are lots of things I’m curious about but think I would only be comfortable doing in a 24/7 D/s relationship, but that’s not going to happen. I would have to be fully committed to a Dominant and feel she was fully committed to me in order to do certain things that I feel very drawn to/curious about, as it’s about more than just physical sensation for me, but about an emotional connection. Like body worship or control scenes, which I’d like to try.
I think the hesitation comes back to my inability to be vulnerable with others. I don’t like being touched—physically or emotionally—so in order for me to allow that to happen I have to be very sure of the other person. There couldn’t be anything casual about it. When I am comfortable that way it’s full on.
Within a D/s relationship, there’s an entire list of things I’d want to try. Being fed, dressing someone, having my clothes chosen for me, having my hair brushed, being bathed, being cuddled, sitting at her feet every evening as part of our routine, enforced bedtime, providing several services to keep the house in order and her life flowing smoothly including polishing her boots because I’m a big cliche.
In terms of pain scenes, I’d also like to try leather-gloved OTK spankings and certain types of bondage with padded leather cuffs with perhaps thigh cuffs, as well. But, again, outside of a committed D/s relationship I don’t know if I’d be comfortable or capable of trusting someone to that extent.
I would only be interested in sex if I was in a long-term D/s committed relationship, but I’d try a variety of things. That one really isn’t going to happen, as I’m happily married to my best friend, so it’s pointless to get into particulars there.