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Sep 12 2015

30 Days of Kink Day 12 The Funny

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

I was at a kinky craft event and the organizer said she wouldn’t mind picking up the materials for us for the next event because it was like performing service. She asked us not to tell her vanilla husband about the concept of service, though, or else he might want her to do more around the house.

It's not fun when it's for your vanilla husband. (credit)

It’s not fun when it’s for your vanilla husband. (credit)

I haven’t had any direct experiences and if this prompt wants laugh-out-loud funny aspects I can’t think of any, though there is one thing that strikes me as hilarious in an ironic way.

There are people in the community who think their way of practising kink is the correct way and everyone else is weird. I’m sorry, but at the weekend you were bound to a sawhorse with barbed wire and coated in applesauce, which was then heated with tiny blowtorches by people in Hazmat suits. All while Mongolian throat-singing records were blaring in the background. And you’re judging? I find it laughable that anyone in this lifestyle doesn’t see the retina-burning irony of them shaming anyone for doing anything when they’ve no doubt been shamed themselves.

It reminds me of the Christians who talk about being persecuted all the while persecuting other people to within an inch of their lives. If you know what it’s like why do it to others?

My policy is: Whatever toasts your kinky crumpet, baby.*

 

 

*This policy applies to consenting adults only.

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