Paradox81 is a Dom who knows how much subs love rules. He wants to be sure us subs know this very important set of ten. Pay attention, s-types.
There’s always rules, right? I mean that’s just what you might expect us doms to do, right? We give you rules to follow. Structure. Something to strive for. It’s inevitable, if it’s not in your profile that you need rules, it’s often casually tossed into the breeze with one of your first messages to us as we start to make playful banter and subtly size each other up for compatibility.
You need rules. I got it. Oh. You want me to give them to you, or at least an example… Sure. I can do that. I mean, I suppose it’s a part of what we do here….
So here ya go, here’s a good first list of rules:
2) Love yourself. All of you. Because if I open my life to you, I will love you, and I will love all of you. If you don’t, then you won’t properly allow me to. You are valuable, and I need you to believe me when I tell you that, so I need you to believe it yourself.
3) Believe in yourself. I will have confidence in you to be by your side, to push you just a bit further, because I know you can do it. Find the confidence within to stand proud and believe it too.
4) Forgive yourself of past mistakes. You are not broken. You are not unworthy. It’s OK to make mistakes. Handle them with grace, and learn what you can as you take the next step forward.
5) Remember that bad things that have happened to you, do not define you. Nobody has the power to take ‘you’ away from you, and I’m not going to let you convince yourself they did.
6) Know your limits. Your limits are not “whatever I want to do with you”. Not yet anyway. I will help you discuss them if needed, but I will not dictate them for you. I don’t want to push you past your limits, therefore, I need your help in determining where they are.
7) Value your own happiness. You can’t expect to make me happy if you don’t even value your own happiness. Sure, making me happy can and probably will be an important part that makes you happy in return – but ultimately you can make or break your own happiness, so you need to value it.
8) Have some goals. You are not a blob to mold as I see fit. You don’t necessarily have to know all the steps from A to Z to reach your goals, but you do need to have some. I will help push you in the right direction, but I need to know which direction to push and how hard.
9) Recognize that this is not a game for me. I don’t need to prove I’m powerful or better than anyone or prop my ego up. I am not here just for a power trip or to get my rocks off (well sometimes – that’s a different context!). I will actually care about you immensely in our dynamic, and I’m not just playing with your emotions for shits and giggles. I might like being in control, but it’s not because I need to feel better about myself by bossing someone around.
10) Understand that respect is earned. I don’t need you to blindly respect me. I will earn it just fine thank you. Don’t just give it away to anyone with a strong personality, they might not deserve it from you. Respect is valuable, treat it as such.
Not quite what you were expecting? Good. You might have noticed I skipped rule #1. That’s cause rule #1 is never make assumptions. Communicate with me. I might be pretty damn good at figuring you out, what you want, want you might need and adjusting… but I’m not a damn mind reader and I want to get it right, so yeah… talk to me. I don’t bite. Not hard. Well, maybe sometimes. When you need it. grin
Now that is out of the way we can work on building something good… and get to the “fun” rules as they are needed… but they need a good foundation to thrive from first.