This post is about Daddy Doms (DD) [the female equivalent is Mommy Dommes (MD)] and their submissives little girls or little boys (lg or lb).
It’s not something I’m personally into but it is interesting and there are some misconceptions about the dynamic. I’m all about education and the post below explains terminology and dispels misconceptions well.
The link to the actual Tumblr post is at the very bottom of the post (the site is The River Lethe and has been on hiatus for a year.)
I have an absolute horror of broken links and lost information, though (never forget the Library of Alexandria!) so this is the entire text of the post unedited:
Through this guide, and all other BDSM related guides, I’m going to be extremely candid, honest and potentially vulgar, because I’m just talking, which means chances are I’ll swear a lot. I’m not trying to be professional, I’m trying to be educational. This isn’t a guide for writing or roleplaying, this is a BDSM guide – and you can use it to help improve your writing of a character involved in the BDSM community, but regardless.
Keeping in mind, that BDSM relationships are very flexible, and what doesn’t work for one person, might work for another. So any of my personal stories or opinions are completely optional. However, there are things through the BDSM community that absolutely SHOULD be standard, and absolutely SHOULD be mandatory.
If you have questions or comments, my askbox is always open.
I get really ranty and shit here, because I’m extremely passionate about the stuff to come.
We’re going to keep in mind that: DD/lg, DD/bg, MD/lg, MD/bg, DD/lb, DD/bb, MD/lb, MD/lb – are all, essentially the same relationship wise, and I respect each and every pairing, but through the guide, my examples and my wording will be with DD/lg or DD/lb – because it’s what I personally relate to. If this is offensive at all, sorry not sorry, because I’m a guy, I’m a Dom, I’m not a female, so I’m not going to go into the female side. I’m sure people can replace the mental imagery of cock with a vagina. Alright, moving on.
Terminology! The fun part!
Age play is exactly that – playing an age other than your own. So, if you’re a twenty year old, cognitively choosing to play at a 17 year old, that is age play. You might not identify with this age, though, you might not be saying ‘yeah, I’m being seven’ or ‘I’m being fifteen’ – but you could be acting that age. Age play is usually sexual – and should not be judged. If someone of age is choosing to age play as a ten year old, that’s their choice, and it’s not anyones place to bash them for it.
Age regression is a little different than age play. Some people see them as the same – but realistically, they are not. Age play is cognitively choosing and age, and playing it. Age regression is literally regressing to a younger state. Age regression isn’t always something someone WANTS to do. Age regression is generally linked with little space. In some cases, age regression is regarded as a mental disability, because it can (and often is) brought on by stressful environments and inhibits people from holding jobs and living a “normal” lifestyle.
Realistically, there are two types of little space. Age play little space – where you choose to pull yourself into a younger mindset, and need to waive the responsibilities of the day to day, that might mean you lay around and color, or you just watch kids movies. There’s regressive little space – which personally, I think should be absolutely non-sexual, because it can be damaging, as your little is usually really in the mindset of the age they’re portraying. Little space is different for everyone, it’s about what makes the little comfortable – not about you as a Dominant.
As a Dominant, though, you need to be there, completely and fully while your submissive is in little space. Abandonment is not okay.
The DD of DD/lg is Daddy Dom. MD is Mommy Domme. LG is little girl. BG is babygirl. LB is little boy and BB is babyboy. Yes, yes there are differences.
HOWEVER, sometimes it all just comes down to what you prefer to be called. So you can be a little, but want to be called babygirl, you know? These are just a way to categorize the different types of submissives that are generally interested in DD/MD types. So, if you identify with the Nymphet, but you want to be called babygirl – that’s completely okay, because it’s about what makes you, as the submissive, happy and comfortable.
Alright this is a range. Because in most cases, little’s are more age regression than age play. A lot of times it sticks to the younger sides of things 5-10, but there is no standard, it’s from person to person. If you regress to fifteen, and you identify as a little, you’re not wrong, you’re just you.
Again a huge rage, because it’s about what you want as a submissive. This is more the age play than regression – but, some babygirls don’t identify as an age other than their own; but they enjoy coloring, they enjoy the more “childish” things. Playing with dolls, dressup, enjoying kids movies – often things associated with both littles and babygirls.
A lot of times, this range is from about 12-16. Usually this type exists because they’ve romanticized the novel Lolita – or, because they simply identify with a per-pubescent age/teenager. In most cases; not all, someone on this rage is more sexually driven, rather than being interested in coloring and playing with blocks.
Adult baby / Diaper Lover. As an adult baby, you do not HAVE to enjoy diapers. These are obviously the youngest on the little spectrum. Most AB/DLs enjoy very young play 1-3 has been the most common that I’ve seen; having bottles, onsies, pacifiers, playtime, nap time and so forth; a lot of these things can be found amongst the littles and the babygirls/boys too, but it’s more intense when it comes to AB/DL. They enjoy being treated as babies, they enjoy baby talk; usually, AB/DL is non sexual during babytime. But that’s not always the case, it depends on the submissive.
Mommy and Daddy Doms.
Are. Not. Pedophiles. Are. Not. Incestuous.
YES, in some cases, they might be a fucking pedophile, but hey, your mailman might be a god damn pedophile.
As a Daddy, we do not want to fuck ten year olds. We want innocence, playfulness, an adorable little boy (or girl) to crawl up on our lap, curl into a ball, and need us to hold them.
We set structure, and rules. We might be a fatherly figure, but we are not FATHERS to our littles; though, some people do enjoy incest play, and that’s their choice, you should not bash them for it, and you should not assume that because SOME enjoy it, we ALL want it.
Daddy and Mommy – those are special titles, something that you call the person you fucking cherish; because they protect you, because they guide you, because they hold you and scare off the monsters.
Because we, as children, were taught that our mommies and daddies were invincible, that they would protect us from evil and keep us safe. That they would feed us, and dress us, teach us right from wrong, guide us lovingly, but firmly.
So, as a grown up, some people still crave that relationship – they crave to be held in the arms of a man they know can chase off the demons. One they KNOW will give them rules, and enforce them.
Mommy and Daddy – those titles are earned, because you’re a protector, not because you want to have sex with your spawn, or because your children want to be with you in that fashion.
In a lot of cases, Mommies and Daddies are more caring and affectionate than a Master would be. Cuddles are what we were made for, snuggling and love; curling up on the couch, watching a kids movie, playing with our little babes. Building forts, having fun – DD/lb/g relationships are mostly about that – having fun, and feeling safe.
Sure there is sex involved, and yes it’s fucking amazing. You can be kinky as you want in bed – that goes back to my first post about ‘what works for one’ and so forth. It’s pick and choose, there’s not specific /type/ of sex that happens in a DD/bg relationship. It’s not ALL about sex, just like with any BDSM relationship, there’s so much more.
Daddy Doms should be strong, not physically, but mentally sound. Strong enough to make rules for their little monsters, and chase away the scary ones. Strong enough to hold your little girls head high when she can’t do it herself, because the world is fucked up. Set rules that help shape your little prince/ss, enforce them when they fuck up, but tell them you love them, and you know they’re trying.
It is your responsibility, as a Daddy, to be the rock that your baby needs when the world is pushing her too hard. You need to be the hand that sets her sights to the sky, so she knows there is no fucking limit to what she can do. You, as a Daddy shouldn’t do everything for your girl, but you should give her everything she needs to do anything.
Hold her when she cries, tickle her to tears, make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world – because to you, she is.
As a Daddy, your goal isn’t to just fuck some innocent little thing. Your goal is to protect some sweet little sundrop; and if you’re lucky, he’ll love you as much as you love him. Give endlessly, and only take what your baby gives you – never break off pieces they need, don’t push your power, because you have none without your little. Don’t abuse them, because god knows they break like porcelain.
No matter how tough that little thing might act, they have feelings as fucking delicate as glass. Just like you do; admit it or not, watching tears on those cheeks fucking wrecks your heart.
In the end, a Daddy Dom / Little boy – or otherwise relationship is give and take, like with anything BDSM or relationships in general. I won’t cover punishments, because it’s anything from spanking to time out. I can’t dictate what you do with your submissive, or what you do as a human. You need to make these rules with your little, and you need to stick to them.
Consistency, care, and honesty. Big parts of a DD/lb and otherwise relationship.
She is not your property, nor will she ever be – she will be your love, your heart, your spirit. She will be the heart that beats in your chest and the air you breathe; but she will not be yours, until she says so. She is not yours to touch, unless she craves your fingers against her flesh, your lips at the crook of her neck, your arms wrapping around her and keeping her close. You do not command her, now or ever – you do not have power over her; she holds power over you, and don’t ever forget that. She can take it if she pleases, or if you don’t please her. She is delicate, her skin is thin as paper, and her heart shatters as easy as glass; abuse her, and she will break. She, your little girl, is your world – for you, her dominant, are nothing but a lonely man wandering without direction, until you find your way to her.